my mom is blaming me??

Question

omg so like 15 min ago my mom came up to me and was like dont talk to bernie anymore, her bf, and i was ok why. she said the reason i can ttalk to him anymore is cause i have too much attitude to people when i talk. its not my fault her bf cant handle kids. she said she donst want another bf breaking up wit her cause they cant handle me and my brothers. she said i was the whole reason she broke up wit john last time. it is even rite for her to blame all her stupid relationship problems on me. i bet she dosnt even kno wat her dating diffrent people all the time has effect on me.

i hate this guy rite now, he is trying to disciplene me its not working but hes trying.lol hes an asshole i dont wanna live wit him for another 4 yrs.

and no im not vicky something. im Emily S.

my real father is on the other side of town i go to his house everything other weekend.

and my little brothers dad is umm idk he dosnt have the same dad as me.

Answer 1

This whole situation is a mess .It has to be difficult to live in a household where there is no sense of family.I'm not trying to be funny but has your family ever thought of going into counceling so you could learn how to listen and to talk with each other.Every family dynamic is different.To make a family work requires the effort of all the members.Do you have an aunt or other adult you can talk to.You seem like you need someone to care about you. You somehow sound like something is missing in your life because you seem to always feel sad.This is not normal and it should be troubling to someone other than me,a complete stranger. I can remember my daughters as young girls and that same joy for life seems to be missing for you( at least based on what you tell us).

Answer 2

You have to understand that it is very difficult for an older woman with kids to have a relationship and she is probably very lonely. I can't imagine trying to juggle a boy friend and kids and being successful. Are you a little bit resentful that he takes time that she could spend with you? I would be. If you give a little attitude and your bothers give a little, that's a lot of attitude for the poor guy to deal with. You don't say where your own dad is at and how much time and attention you get from him but I bet it's not enough, is it? What your mother isn't thinking about is that sooner than she thinks, her time being your day in and day out mom will be over. You'll be out of the house and she will be able to have a more normal dating life. At this point in time, it's probably just not going to be a very good deal. Teens are hard to understand and deal with when they are your own children who you love very much. Next to impossible to love some who don't mean beans to you but you like their mom. She would be much happier if she kept her love life clear away from the house until you are all grown but she won't like to think that. I'm sure you've been very hurt by getting used to someone and then when it doesn't work out, you never see them again. These next few years should belong to her kids and then she can make the life she wants. Can you ask her to read this w/o being real confrontational? I learned all this the hard way, pretty much like she is learning it and finally came to the conclusion that my love life didn't belong in my kids lives. If she wants to spend time with him, she needs to do it at his house. All divorced women have this problem so she is not alone. God bless you all.

Answer 3

Sounds complicated.

How old are you?

Briefly, how do you feel he can't handle kids?

Honestly speaking are you giving him a hard time? Is he abusive?

When you say, can't handle kids, can I guess you are in fact doing things you know you shouldn't, like being rude or whatever?

While its not fair for her to blame you, you as a intelligent kid, do actually also have some responsibility to try and do your part; i.e., at least give other people in her life a chance. You also have to think about your mother's happiness just as much as she should think of yours. She feels she needs a partner. It may suck for you, but you should at least accept that.

This is sad but true. Lots of what growing up is when you realize that your choices make a difference.

Sorry I don't say what you want to hear but I wish you the best.

Drop me a line any time if you want somebody "neutral" to talk tom, on occasion.

P.S. If you want your own life to be happy when your time comes, you're better to judge your mom less harshly, but learn from her mistakes. Keep your self confident and rational.

Answer 4

I really think that your mother's behavior is inappropriate behavior, by bringing a stranger into the home where there are kids living there. With her bringing different men into the home is borderline harming you kids. She should not bring any man into the home until you kids are all grown up and out of the house. What she is teaching you kids is that it is okay to do this without being married to the man. It is immoral for her to let herself be used by these men as well.

You may consider on going to your mother when she is alone, tell her how you feel about her bringing men into your lives and that it is really affecting you and your brothers. Ask her if this is the way she wants to see you live your life? Is this the way a mother is suppose to be? She may not want to listen to you, but she is not a good mother at all by showing her actions in the home. Not a good role model, period.

Plus, where is your bio-logical father? Is there any relative that you and your brothers can stay with? If so, you may want to contact them and tell them what is going on in your home. It is not safe at all with different men coming into the home. Hopefully, you will find a place where you are wanted, but it is obvious that your mother is putting her boyfriends first before her kids. I sure hate to see kids get hurt like this.

Answer 5

Wow, what a biotch your mom is. She is the loopy one, no longer you. i won't be able to really tel you what to do because you won't be able to go away merely yet, besides the undeniable fact that i will relate on account that my dad blamed me for our water bill in any respect situations as a youngster. Thank God my mom and pa are divorced and that i do not might want to stay including his psycho ***. some individuals are merely controlling and continually seem for a answer to belittle their youngsters. that is like they get a Adrenalin develop out of it. that is totally mentally abusive, and also you won't be able to make your father have a tumor. I had a breast tumor at 19 and they are from over production of cells. Sorry besides the undeniable fact that your moms needs a kick back pill and that i'm afraid once you face as a lot as her contained in the incorrect approach she'll kick you out because you're 18. Ask your associates for advice when you think about that i'm sure they be attentive to plenty about you, even ask your relations individuals and note what they say. you'd be able to easily might want to bathe at the same time as she's gone or contained in the middle of the evening time.

Answer 6

I'm really sorry that you are being blamed for your mom's relationship problems. It sounds like she is being selfish, the children ALWAYS....i mean ALWAYS come first....who needs a boyfriend or husband anyway????? Keep your chin up, don't let it get to you. Make good grades in school so that you can get a college scholarship, then, you can make good dough and move out. You have to focus on the end result of finishing your college, you can do it!

My stepdad was the same way, when it came time to eat, the moment i sat down at the table he would leave.......so, i understand what you're going through.

Answer 7

No it not far for her to blame you but I have been there. A single mom and dating again was really hard. Mind you my kids gave my boyfriends a run for there money but it was the kids not knowing how to handle a man in there life after not having to share mom with anyone. They did not like him to tell them what to do and I had to be the peace maker in the middle and it was hard.

If this guy is really good to your mom give him a break too. Just try to see her side, she is lonely for companionship but she loves her kids too. It is so hard being in the middle. If you try I am sure you can find middle ground, he doesn't have to be your best buddy but you should be able to hold a decent conversation with out giving attitude. It is hard, been there, done that. Good luck

Answer 8

Her problems with relationships are not your fault or your brothers. It sounds like your mom doesn't want to take responsibility for her failed relationships. It's always easier to blame someone else. You need to find someone that you can talk to and/or see if you and your mom can go to counseling together. Usually things are not one-sided. Take a good look at yourself and see if there is anything you can do to make things a little better. I'm not justifying her blaming you because I don't agree with her doing that. Good luck and I wish you the best.

Answer 9

Teen years are the pits* You have to sit down with your mom (or write her a letter if she won't sit down with you) and let her know how it's affecting you that she feels the need to blame you all the time for her relationship problems. Are you or your sibblings acting up on purpose cuz you don't want tosee your mom with anyone?? Either way....i would express how you feel....and how her blaming you always is affecting you*
TALKING IT OUT ..rather than not talking at all...is your best option* Obviously she's going through something also* GOODLUCK*

Answer 10

Sounds like mom has her priorities in the wrong order. She needs to focus on her children and let the boyfriend go. It is difficult being a single mom and I am sure she needs adult companionship. However, in a few short years you will be gone and mom will have all the time in the world to search for the right partner......