POST 2: I'm 16 and 5 months pregnant. What if..?

Question

No one's hear to help me with this, but then again thats my fault. My ex and I have stopped speaking to eachother. And he knows whats going on with me, but he continues to ignore it.

I don't want to give my baby to a stranger because this baby is apart of me, and I just can't give it away that easily. But then I don't want to give up the things I want to do because of a mistake I made. I would like to live my life like a normal teenager and be able to finsih school.

I'm so fed up with my ex boyfriend, he just continues to be a jerk about all of this and doesn't even try helping me with something he HELPED started. He just goes on with his life like its nothing important. He hasn't told his family and he already has a new girlfriend. I don't even know if I should try speaking to him after everything he has put me through, and believe me its been alot..

Answer 1

I know it is a hard decision, but have you considered an open adoption. You would still get to visit your baby and they would know that they were adopted and that you still love them, but you were just too young to take care of them. This would also give a family (that you choose) the ability to raise and love a child, that is a great gift to give someone who cant have children.

Answer 2

That's a very hard question but only you can make the final decision...I would make sure you tell your parents and his parents...this is also their grandchild. It might be possible that would of them can help you with the baby so you can finish high school and work part time. But you will need there help so you need to talk to them about it, otherwise you will have an even rougher time trying to make it. Also, don't forget that you can possible give up the baby but have visitation rights...so you can still see your child. That way you are helping out a couple that can't have a child and can give it a better life then you can at the moment. That way can be an aunt or just a special person in her life till she old enough to understand. Good Luck making the right choice for you and your baby.

Answer 3

Well, first, stay away from the ex. If he wants to be a jerk, then let him be one to someone else. That is a stress u don't need being 16 and pregnant. As for the normal life of a teenager, sorry to say that if u decide to keep ur child, that is something u will find hard to have. Not that I'm saying give it up, I would never do that, I'm a father myself and i love my child. As for his family, depending on what they are like, u may try talking to them urself, and letting them know what as happened. They may try to help u, but that is ur decision to make if u want to envolve them or not. Their are also different clinics u may try contacting about help in deciding what to do with ur pregnancy. Maybe try contacting a planned pregnancy location or even a near by hospital and see if they can give u some information to help u out. I sure none of this has been a help to u, but u never know. I wish u the best of luck in what ever decision u make.

Answer 4

I understand what you are going through. I have two children, my first right after I turned seventeen. I know that you wish that you could just go back to your life before this happened, but that's not going to happen. No matter whether you keep this baby, or give it away, your life is never going to be the same again.
I kept both of children. I was so happy I did. Some days it's hard but there is nothing that could ever make me feel like I wish I had given them up. I didn't graduate from high school, but that doesn't mean that you can't. You can do anything that you put your mind to. Just think of what is best for you and for your child.
Oh and tell that ex of yours to go f*ck himself, he's not good enough to be apart of your or that child's life. Best of luck, you'll be in my prayers.

Answer 5

If you do contact an adoption agency there are about a ZILLION great parents w/ money, love, good home, etc. to offer your child. They won't be strangers because YOU pick them out to parent your child. Most importantly, the adoption agency can help YOU get counseling and back on your feet, whether that means finishing school or finding a place to live, whatever. My husband was given up for adoption. He met his birthmom as an adult. She went on to become a doctor! He had GREAT parents and he is their FAVORITE and now he has a friendly relationship w/ his birthmom. We just adopted a baby girl. There are SO, SO many people hoping for children that are ready for them. I cannot explain to you what a gift adoption is and how your child will be treasured. You have the rest of your life to get yourself together and then have more kids.....when you are ready and able to give a child a great life, with a new man!

Answer 6

OK, you've got every right to be pissed off at your ex (who is, in fact, a scumbag). That said, your analysis of the impact keeping this baby will have on both of your futures (that is, yours and the baby's) is pretty clear. Adoption is probably the best path for both of you.

There are organizations that will help you to arrange an "open" placement where you can get to know the people who will adopt your baby and, possibly, keep in touch as the child grows older.

Good luck. Oh, and make sure all the new girlfriend's friends know how this guy behaves.

Answer 7

Having a baby is big responsibility.
If you wanna keep the baby your gonna have to give up alot of things you want because that baby is gonna take up all your time. Its not gonna be about you anymore. You have to consider whats best for the baby. If you know your gonna be on your own with this and that you probably not gonna be able to give your baby the care he/she needs then you need to give the baby up.
Its not that bad, you get to chose the parents, you'll find out everything about them and maybe you could get like an open adoption. were the new parents are happy to let you see the baby anytime you want and the baby will always know you are his/her real mother

Answer 8

I think u should try to call his mom and let her know what's going on or have your mom call him. He's only 16 and he's not ready to be a dad. He's gonna act like that. For how long I don't know. Just pray on it and ask God to help you. I had a baby at 18 and it was so hard because the dad wasn't ready either. i'm sorry about what your going through I've been there. He'll hopefully come around. Just call his mom and tell her. She needs to know. You're going to need all the financial and emtional help possible. Sweetie it's never too late to finish school. You can do it.

Answer 9

First off you do need to speak to him and your family as well about having this baby and what to do afterwards, because it doesn't just affect you. eventually people are going to know when you give birth so you might as well tell them now. I think you need to reconsider adoption. you keep talking about how you want your life to be yours and that can't include a baby as well as a baby shouldn't suffer because you weren't ready to be a parent.

It doesn't matter what your ex did to you; you have bigger problems right now. Hopefully you'll figure out where your priorities should be and then the next time and everytime you have sex you will use multiple kinds of protection so that your next child will be expected.

Answer 10

Where are your parents...that is why we tell young ladies not to get involved at this age...because neither one of you have the means or the mental maturity to stand up for what you do....so the best thing to do is refrain....

The only thing you can do is trust your parents...whatever they decide you should agree 100% as your own judgement was not good. the only way you can go back to normal is giving the baby to someone who can give them the stability they need, it will help a lot if you know the family and stay close to the baby....up to your parents honey...I am really sorry...