was severly abused ( physical and mental) as a little girl but made a good life for myself! I hardly ever think about it anymore, except!
during those years of abuse I taught myself to watch my cues with people ,so that I could sense what they where up to or what kind of mood or intensions they had ,so I wouldnt get hurt and reach safety before things would escalate ! today , unfortunately, this has not changed! and while I am very acurate on reading people I seem to go on the offensive pretty much right away , later then as I get to know that indevidual a little longer , sure enough , they are what I sensed they are! this is not such a good thing as it has gotten me in trouble quite a lot and I am labled at my job! but I cant seem to shut off this defence mechanism! what is there I can do !
2007-03-01 11:40:48 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
Well, start off by loving it.
In other words - it's a part of you - this defense mechanism - and it's kept you healthy for a long time. So it is a very useful mechanism your body and mind have developed.
You are paying attention enough to realize that this habit is no longer serving you. That is also good.
The tough part is how you do it - which is to turn it to trust inside of yourself.
In a way you don't trust anyone because you assume that at some point they're going to explode and hit you - you've developed mechanisms for coping with that. But what happened to you as a child has poisoned and scarred you emotionally. You can't deny that - you can hide it - but you can't deny it. As a result of that poison you don't trust people. But alternately you do not trust yourself.
The only way that you can learn to trust people more is to trust yourself more. The only way you can love people more is to love yourself more. The only way you can help people more is to help yourself - this is the secret that most people don't realize. Happiness, trust, etc., do not come from outside of you.
Much good luck - perhaps a vist or two to a therapist can help.
FP
2007-03-01 11:47:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
not every one is out to hurt you! forget what they say at your job! i mean they are just people at your job! your don't bring your job home with you ! as far as the defense barrier,don't so much as shut it off as bring the wall down a little just so you can take a peek.I have a bad view on most people, because i too have been hurt,etc.... to where now i just don't like people period!i have to be around them for a very long time before i will even acknowledged them close to a year or so! but being care full isn't a bad thing and believe me! your bound to have less problems than a lot of those so called people at your work! beautiful,intelligent,thoughtful,caring ,honest is not wrong!
i just still believe in humanity,to where i have this eternal knife in my back
2007-03-01 20:00:54 · answer #2 · answered by TJ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that you've had such a painful past.I truly believe that there comes a time when you can't "deal" or cope anymore by yourself with a painful past by yourself,I think its high time you sought out some counseling or a referral to a mental health professional ,unburden your self of this nightmare,and soon.Take care. SW RNP
2007-03-01 19:48:33 · answer #3 · answered by sharon w 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mirror/rorriM
That's a tough call.
I write, but, honestly, if you have time for it, meditation is awesome. You don't need to have candles and stuff. You can meditate by just calming your mind.
Try to get to that calm and get familiar with it. It can make you very level-headed.
Most of all, conversely, VENT! To a friend or by writing. Somewhere other than the work place and ask, if it's with a friend, as many times as they'll let you, "Am I off-base here? 'Cause, if I am, tell me. It's all good if I am."
And if you're like me, you aren't. :)
2007-03-01 19:48:41 · answer #4 · answered by Whiskeybone 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you story it just like mine the diffrence i put mine on paper and workrd with a therapest for 5 years.I am able to face the truth without any fear. I can tell you my sick DAD raped me at the age of 9 with a knife that cut my hip needed 50 stiches and broke my wrist and my MOM was watching ,he would killed her if she said did anything.
today i no longer let them rent free space in my head,i had forgivig both og them , i did a lot of damge to my self and men before i got help..think about it please i want you to have a happy life
2007-03-01 20:03:40 · answer #5 · answered by Dove4ever 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Follow your instincts. Labels are meaningful only to people of impressionable being. I call it Gullible. Gullible people are not the smartest. In fact I label them Stupid. Not knowing the label that has trailed you, I can not know whether further comment would be justified.
2007-03-02 09:21:16 · answer #6 · answered by einstein 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
While that defense mechanism served you well then, you can benefit from counselling, to modify it, so it is toned down a little, and more suited to your current circumstances.
2007-03-01 21:10:09 · answer #7 · answered by CLICKHEREx 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk therpy is a start, something still has to come out and be delt with.
2007-03-01 19:47:13 · answer #8 · answered by michael m 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go with your senses. After all they are accurate in the perception you are getting.
2007-03-01 19:47:18 · answer #9 · answered by RUDOLPH M 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all i am so sorry for what you had to go through. try hypnotism, counseling
2007-03-01 19:44:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋