Should people say something to parents who hit their kids in public?

Question

At the mall today I saw a mom trying to get her four-year-old (I guess) to leave a store. The girl refused to leave and just became limp with her mom holding her arm in the air. The mom then looked at the father (I guess) and said "Can you help me here?" The man walked over the them and hit the girl, hard, on her leg, without a word.

This seems extreme to me and completely uncalled for. It would have been better for the mom to say to the girl "We are leaving now" and let the girl lay on the floor while she walked away. Thats how I handle my 3-year-old.

What could I have done or said to these morons? I can only imagine what happens at home.

The girl was not throwing a tantrum or yelling or anything. Just hanging there with no expression on her face. The parents did not give her any warning that such a hit was coming.

Answer 1

I threaten them with a call to the police and have done it a few times before. I always get a hard time from the abusers, who are embarrassed when caught in the act and will say anything.
It's up to you to do something if you want to. Since I was a battered child I can't stand to see it happen so I always intervene without personally getting psychical.
When video phones are everywhere and evidence can be had immediately, these neanderthals will stop.
It takes some guts to do something and I know that's in short supply today, exemplified by other gutless non-answers here.

Answer 2

That is something I really don't agree with, parents butting into another parents form of disapline, even in public. Sorry, but it was none of your business and why does it make them morons simply because that isn't the way you would have done it?

What if the kid had already done the "limp thing" 5 times inside the store and the parents had warned her already about it? If so, she deserved the swat her dad gave her. It is his child, not yours. That is certainly not necessarily an indication of what happens in their home. Your judging someone you don't even know.

Answer 3

Unfortunately, the leaving a child on the floor doesn't always work. My son would say, "Okay" and stay in the store whether we left or not. Truth is, they could have just picked her up and carried her against her will, however, in the eyes of the law, a single spank is not abuse and contrary to other posters, a parent doesn't need to be embarrassed if someone threatens them with the law. It wouldn't be my method, but I wouldn't say anything either unless they beat the child.

Answer 4

I know you've had a lot of answers, and I probably shouldn't even bother because several people on here have told you the same thing I was thinking after I read your question. You don't have the right to say anything to anyone about their child unless they are actually beating them. A spank on the leg, not a beating unless that father put all his weight behind it. It's people like you that make other parents wary of disciplining their children in public for fear that they'll be turned in for being a GOOD parent. If a child is truly in danger, then something should be said. As far as this goes, you need to keep walking and keep your opinions to yourself.

Answer 5

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Answer 6

Just leaving them exposes them to more danger. The child may not fully understand what will happen if they are left alone. If you have to drag them then do it.

From personal expereience and other testimonies, most children respond to spankings and learn their discipline alot better than other techniques. If you leave them it may cause a distress within the child to feel unwanted or something.

My mom would take me to the bathroom and spank me there. I did learn my lesson. She would sometimes tap me on the back of the leg or the butt.

You need to know that a beating is different than a spaking. A beating causes severe physical, emotional,mental, and self-esteem damage. They can also cause bruises and boken bones. While a spanking is somewhat rough it is usually on the butt, leg, or arm. It doesn't cause severe damage, they are ment to hurt, but not harm the child.

It is not your place to discipline another person's child unless they say you can. You can give advice and be concerned for the child, but otherwise I'd think that it would be best to keep it to yourself and take it as an experience as what not to do.

Answer 7

Define hard.
Was the child being totally uncooperative? Parents usually resort to spanking because they've run out of answers. I personally do not like to spank my child, but i will. And it's not abusive, it's negative reinforcement. If my four year old runs into the street without looking or thinking, you bet your butt he gets a smacked bottom. Because the next time he comes to an intersection, chances are he'll stop. Children need limits and they need to be enforced. Acting that way in a public place... that child is testing his limits. What gets me is seeing all these new parents trying to reason with their toddlers. You are the parent, what you say, goes. Children should be disciplined through love, infinite patience, understanding and most of all consistancy.
What those parents should have done is just pick up the child and remove him/her from the situation, and done their best not to react. And unless you really think that child is in danger and the parents are out of control, stay out of it. Otherwise, take out your camera phone, record the incident, then dial 911.

Answer 8

That does not sound like abuse to me, so I would not have said anything. I would have handled it much differently too, however if a mom or dad decides to give their child a whack, with no explanation, that's their business. I agree they didn't make the right choice. When we use spanking, our children always know why it's happening. Really though, trying to give parenting advice to a stranger is usually never successful.

Good Luck

Answer 9

"Should people say something to parents who hit their kids in public?" A friend of mine "said something" to a man who swatted his son in the mall once. She required stitches to her upper lip.
The thing is that nowadays if you leave a child lying on the floor of a store and walk away the store management has the right to call CPS for child neglect. Neither the store nor it's employees are there to babysit your child while you "teach your child a lesson". I don't condone spanking at all. I never found the reason to do so myself. If my child was "uncontrolable" in public either hired a sitter to watch her or had one of my neighbors with kids watch her for awhile. The thing is, YOU do not have the right to butt into someone else parenting their child. If it really bothered you, you should have called the police and turned them in for child abuse. That's CAN happen to you if you leave your child lying on the floor in a store and you walk out.

Answer 10

thats actually not abuse, thats spanking. i would stay out of it and let them handle the discipline. if i seen real abuse i would say something.

i do agree with u that they could of handled it in a better. i do that move "i'm leaving" and walk away to my 4 year old son and it works. i don't know why but it does, he will come running after me saying "wait mommy, don't leave". that strategy is so simple yet it works for everyone from every culture.

Answer 11

You should just mind your own business. A swat on the leg or bottom never hurt any child that is acting out like that. That's what's wrong with a lot of kids today. They think they can get away with intimidating their parents because if they dare to discipline them they can call social services on them.