My fiance's brother (best man) told me he does not approve of me. nobody in his family does. I can't face him up there on what should be the happiest day of our lives. They have said too many negative things. Is it possible to just have my MOH and one bridesmaid and just have the brother be an usher with no groomsmen or best man? Can an usher walk the bridesmaids down the aisle and be seated. He doesnt want to pick anyone over his brother and would rather stand alone.
What to do?
2007-03-01 10:40:28 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I think if your fiance is willing to stand alone, you might want to consider doing this as well. Of course it would be great to have your girls stand by you, but under the circumstances, it might be a good gesture of support for your fiance by having just the two of you at the alter. You can still have your maid of honor and a bridesmaid escorted down the aisle by an usher and then be seated in the first row on your side (and the usher one the front row on his side). I think this would be the best compromise. You might want to consider having another family member (cousin or uncle) be a second usher. This way there will be one usher to escort each of your attendants during the processional and recessional.
2007-03-01 14:26:15 · answer #1 · answered by Veronica W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately it would be a slap in the face to his family and make bigger issues for you to deal with. Now technically he can stand alone but the ladies need to walk alone not with an usher I would think. The ushers are actually to seat the family members and or guests and it may look a little silly to have someone seating guests and no male attendants. maybe your fiance needs to sit his brother down and say "listen this is the woman I choose as an adult to spend the rest of my life with. It is your decision not to approve of her but in doing so you are alienating not just her but me too. You may not approve of her for whatever reason but you should be man enough and love me enough that you support me in whatever decisions I choose to make". The last thing you want to do is start your new life with this man with resentment amongst his family. Be strong if his family doesnt approve of you this may be a long hard battle for you both.
2007-03-01 19:59:51 · answer #2 · answered by galixcysmagic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it's your day and you can do whatever you want. But I feel if you want your fiance's best man to not stand up there then neither should your Maid of Honor, Either it's both the MOH and the BM or it's just you two. That's the only fair way to do it.
Good Luck!
2007-03-01 19:22:31 · answer #3 · answered by Justyn's Mommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your wedding and you can have it any way you want. I have been to weddings where there have only been bride maids and a maid of honor and they walked down the aisle without any one attending them.
As far as your future brother-in law you fiance can have his father or no one if he prefers. I can't believe anyone could be so cruel to you and do not understand why your future husband still want him as best man. I wish you well and much happiness.
2007-03-01 18:52:30 · answer #4 · answered by singscale 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There CAN be but it will look weird.
Your fiance should NOT have as best man, someone who does not approve of the bride. The Best man's supposed to be there showing support of the marriage.
In fact, for the brother to have hostility toward the bride and stand there would make him a hypocrite.
You are absolutely correct that you should be able to disapprove of him standing there.
2007-03-01 18:46:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either have none, or let him be the best man.
Honestly, if you could "rise above", and not exclude anyone from your happy day, you would never regret it. Let them worry about their own actions. Let your fiance stand next to his brother. Who cares what he thinks of you - let him and anyone else stand there while you smile graciously and show them what you are made of. I swear, you will be so happy you did that.
If you exclude your fiance's family from your wedding (even though they may deserve it!) you will pay for it for a long time, if you last that long.
I know it is your day. I think you would look back at it and feel proud that you proved what a kind and forgiving person you are, and that you really couldn't care less what they think about you.
Good luck, whatever you decide. But please consider my advice.
2007-03-01 18:48:53 · answer #6 · answered by justagirl33552 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The girls can be alone or with ushers they don't have to be called groomsmen! I would just do the girls alone they can dance with ushers if need be. Maybe the fam will come around. Best of luck, its your day make it the best!
2007-03-01 18:44:32 · answer #7 · answered by babygirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. If you will have no best man, then you can't have a maid of honor either. So choose--keep your maid of honor and bridesmaid--and the best man (that's the last day you'll have to see him, anyway--and he's going to be there, anyway).
You'll only regret it later if you forbid your fiance's brother to be best man. Don't forget--these people aren't going to hate you forever. Wait till there are grandchildren (nieces/nephews) in the picture.
2007-03-01 18:55:00 · answer #8 · answered by Holiday Magic 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
like everyone has been telling me, do what you and your fiance want to do, heck elope if you want to, I know that I wouldnt want someone there who didnt approve of me, so I understand where you are coming from
2007-03-01 19:21:24 · answer #9 · answered by shelly63795 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the day you have dreamt of your whole life. Do what makes you HAPPY!!
2007-03-01 19:24:37 · answer #10 · answered by chr15f13ld 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋