and he did, but it is 24 years old and needs work.
I want a reliable vehicle, as in newer, and he makes the money to get me one but gets very nasty and angry with me when I bring it up. I have said I would get a job to help with it, but he always says to not worry about it and that he will get me one. Hasnt happened yet. I am a stay home mom and have no friends or family to help drive me to get groceries and such.
I am with a 2 year old ALL DAY long as he works out of town mostly. He doesnt understand that a vehicle would help and I think he really just doesnt want me out of the house without him, I dnt know what to say anymore.
I have even with held sex cause I feel like why should I be nice if he wont, he recently had 16 thousand cash to spare and called me "selfsh bitcht" when I said we should use it to get me a car with cash so he wouldnt have to make payments, he drives a newer truck and promised if I stayed home he would get me a car...what do I do?
2007-03-01 08:58:40 · 12 answers · asked by Bitsy B 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
The whole deal was I would be a stay home mom and he would provide, and when I was pregant he said he would get me a car so I wouldnt be stcuk home all day and have to depend on rides from other busy ppl.
What would you say to him if you were me?
2007-03-01 08:59:49 · update #1
Also after basically splurging the money, on "some"furniture...he turns around and tell me "I know I should have bought you a car with that money"...All the while I asked him to while HE had it, is this not irritating or am I overeacting?
2007-03-01 09:17:59 · update #2
When I mention I am thinking about getting a job, he gets extremely moody all the way to any job interview and tries to put me in a bad mood.
He also says "whose going to watch the kid" as Iam the sole child watcher and he works out of town alot. He doesnt want to help with daycare cause he says the money for daycare could be used for the car, but then...nothing.
I dont know what to do, becuase I have been in the house for 3 straight weeks, and cant go anywhere as its too cold to take a toddler out and then to get things home with one free hand. I am getting very angry with him and he makes it out to be like he is the victim and Im the *****, or he says what do you need a car for???
Like as long as he finds the answer acceptable, he isnt going to do anything.
He knows I want a car but he is being a real bugger about it, I am a human being not a dog.
2007-03-01 09:27:32 · update #3
your first mistake is letting him control this marriage. This is not the 1800's . i would also not put up with being called names. sounds like he has no respect for you. i do not advocate divorce but i would not stay in a marriage like that.
2007-03-01 09:08:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the best way to do it is get together and explain to him that in order to be a good stay at home mom ( I am one too so I speak from experience) you need to be able to get around and not worry about the car breaking down. The best time to do it in my opinion is when it is either VERY hot or VERY cold so you can throw in the A/C or heater because you toddler needs it to be a good temp not too hot and not too cold. If he doesn't go for that the offer up a trade. Tell him if the car you have isn't that bad then he can drive it and you will take the truck (I hope it is an extended cab to make it more believable). If that doesn't work than I am sorry.
2007-03-01 09:12:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is really ironic i am in the same situation and my fiance is always working out of town and getting home at 8 or out of town for a week at a time its crazy!!!!
You have to stand your ground and tell him you are going to have to leave with your child because you refuse to be stuck in the house for one more day...that is what i told my fiance because he knew the situation i was in when we moved together and i didnt have a car and this was 9 MONTHS ago!!!
I really feel for you its not a life to be stuck in all the time i know this.....that is very sad for you and no matter what you say he has no right to call you those mean names you should do some serious thinking Good Luck to you!
2007-03-01 10:04:25 · answer #3 · answered by pewpaws 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you married someone who wants to control you. I would get a job and then use part of the money buy a reliable newer vehicle. If he protests then you will have to figure out if you want to vegetate or actually live in the world.
Isolating someone is a form of abuse the first symptom really. He is insecure and no one who loves you calls you a *****.
2007-03-01 09:21:27 · answer #4 · answered by professorc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you... I would really feel like I would be in jail..... cus thats basically what your in, with the luxuries of living... and if he called you a selfish "B" thats just silly!!! you shouldnt tell him anything, drive the car till it croaks and basically leaves you stranded at the grocery store or the park, and call him to pick you right away cus that crap for a car broke down and that you Need a reliable automobile!! Or just divorce him and get half and buy your own Brand New car!!
2007-03-01 09:11:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think he has control issues. He has backed out on his end of the deal, I say you get the classifieds out and start circling possible job opportunities....leave it lying about. When he asks you what you are doing, tell him, since he's not providing, you are going to have to get a job. Tell him you are sorry to back out on your end of the deal, but he pretty much admitted to you that he backed out on his end when he spent money on furntiure instead of a decent, safe vehicle for you to go run your errands.
2007-03-01 09:21:53 · answer #6 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a job and tell him you will quit when you get a new car .don.t give in to him .if you do he will continue .to do you like that.it will get worse.he knows he has nothing to worry about now so give him something to worry about.
2007-03-01 16:20:39 · answer #7 · answered by kimberlymomblue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me like a controling man kick his rear end to the curb and use your alimony to buy a new car.
2007-03-01 09:08:41 · answer #8 · answered by Gypsy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Either divorce him, or buy a car on your own, and then use it to get a job.
But based on your story: divorce him. He ain't gonna get better.
2007-03-01 09:05:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
stop paying bills, start to hoard money, then buy yourself a car.. see a lawyer. go to a shelter with your child, start divorce proceedings charging abuse. he is abusive. good luck.
2007-03-01 09:11:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋