Maybe "stinks" isn't the most polite term. But a close friend of my family lives in an apartment with her family and the place always smells like mildew (You know how water smells if it's been sitting in one spot for too long??). They don't open the windows or leave the front door open because of seasonal allergies and the possibility of bugs. So the only air cirulating around their apartment is stale, dry and stinky.
The smell literally hits you at the front door! It's gotten so bad that when we visit them, I find some excuse to either stay in the car or stand outside acting like I'm on my cellphone on an "important" call. I really like these people but the smell makes me want to vomit.
What should I do? Do I ignore the smell and fight the impulse to throw-up? Or do I tell them their house stinks? And how do you tell someone that? Do I secretly plant air-fresheners in their house in places they wouldn't notice?
2007-03-01 08:53:00 · 11 answers · asked by kevzvixen 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I actually had to go through something similar with friends of mine. Their house was just a dirty, sloppy mess. The way that we helped was that a bunch of friends got together and discussed that they needed some help.
Some of the problem was that they had just gotten to the point that they were completely overwhelmed and did not know where to start. A bunch of us offered to go over on a Saturday and help clean and straighten up their house. They actually ended up being grateful for the help, and have become a bit more conscious about keeping ahead of the clutter.
Possibly if you are afraid of making your friends resent you, you could mention the problem to them in a way that you are worried about their health. Stale air does not help allergies, and will actually cause any sickness to linger inside the house.
You could also say that you cannot visit as you have been diagnosed with allergies, and you cannot sit in an closed up apartment as it makes your allergies worse.
They are endangering their health if the air is full of mold and mildew, it can attribute to breathing problems and infections. Good luck, I wish you the best.
2007-03-01 09:19:59 · answer #1 · answered by Sue F 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
They probably have gotten so used to the smell they don't even know.
1. Ask them if they have a mildew problem. Say that an old friend of yours had that too.
2. Or if being direct isn't your cup of tea, avoid going over there as much as possible.
3. Invite them to your place. Make sure you have many, many air freshners, candles, etc outside for them to see. If they say "Wow, your place smells really great" tell them that it's sort of become of a hobby of yours, collecting scents & stuff. Say that you really have too much, & would they please take some
4. If a birthday party or other celebration is coming up for them give them a gift basket full of goodies like candles, mixed in with towels, nuts, air freshners, & other inconspicuous things.
If all else fails, just suggest that you hang out at the park or other places. Maybe take a whiff of the breeze & say "Mmm, I love the scent of the ocean." Perhaps they may take that offbeat hint.
2007-03-01 10:03:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, this is a sensitive question. I go through the same thing with some Church members me & my husband have at our Church. Their house smells {AND IS} really bad!!! I guess my advice to you is not to go in there if it's that bad. I know you don't want to hurt their feelings. So, it's up to you what to do. Hope this helps you. We don't say anything to our Church members about their house that is SO NASTY! But, I would like to but don't have the heart too. My husband preaches on being unclean once in a while- but it really doesn't do much good!
2007-03-01 09:03:51 · answer #3 · answered by goodgirl 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'd be honest. My friend's house smells like an old attic. Every time me and my friends would go over, we'd all get headaches because the smell would mess us up, but his family didn't have a clue.
Finally, the smell is gone and his house smells new and fresh. If it wasn't for us friends being honest with him, nothing would've ever changed. Don't let a nasty smell prevent you from having a good time with your friends...
2007-03-01 09:01:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
Ask them "what's that smell?" like it's one of their neighbors. It probably is mildew and they probably can't smell it since they're in it all the time, so I'm sure it keeps them sick.
They probably don't have "seasonal allergies", they're just allergic to fresh air and don't open the windows for that reason.
You can also just wear a lot of perfume and just try to sniff yourself the whole time. Or, just act like you get sick to your stomach everytime you go over there.
2007-03-01 09:02:32 · answer #5 · answered by #1 Buckeye Fan!!!! 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
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2016-11-26 22:44:45 · answer #6 · answered by cordell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't go to that house and don't say anything. Invite that person to your "fresh" smelling home or to some other "fresh" smelling place.
2007-03-01 10:37:51 · answer #7 · answered by Sue 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your friend that mold and mildew can be really dangerous to someone's health. And that you are only concerned for their well-being.
2007-03-01 09:00:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Do you want to continue being friends with that person? If so I suggest you say nothing and suck it up.
2007-03-01 10:41:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Come in with a clothespin on your nose.
2007-03-01 08:56:50 · answer #10 · answered by nycguy10002 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋