Im a single mum who is totally p***ed off with the way we are all seen to be sponging off the goverment. I work full time study part time own my own home. Raise my daughter to know what the rights wrongs and boundaries are in life. Im teaching her you only get what you work for. Im sick of being frowned upon when my daughter is better behaved and looked after than some kids in two parent familes. Why are we all tarred with the same brush?
2007-03-01 08:33:13 · 14 answers · asked by sm80 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I earn minimum wage and yes money is a worry, life is not rosey. Interest rates rise monthly council tax is on the rise again as are the water bills etc but my wage doesnt change. Im not slating mothers who genuinely cant go out to work and have no choice but to live on benefits. The best thing is people keep telling me how much better off i would be if i dint work that is just wrong. If you are fit and able, get a job. Surely it would be better the goverment helping with childcare and you having the self respect of earning your own way in life than them paying for you to stay at home.
2007-03-01 09:15:51 · update #1
I do not know. I get pittied because I am from a single parent household. My teachers and friends say that it is too bad, and that it is not good. But, I love the mother/daughter time and I learned about saving and budgeting and being greatful at a young age. I was also better behaved that a lot of the kids who have 2 parents. I have friends who swear at their parents, yet, I would NEVER EVER think of doing such a thing. I have more respect for my mom than that.
2007-03-01 08:51:15 · answer #1 · answered by Popsicle_1989 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
People always need to feel there is somone worse of than them. There is no doubt about it, a 2 parent stable family is the best enviroment for kids but that doesn't mean any other one is damaging. In fact more damaging would be a family at war constantly.
There are many variations of a single mum and the stereotypical Vicky Pollard image is the one that is conjured up most often. My sister recently found herself alone, 6 months pregnant and a 4 year old. Charming man that her hubby was. She had to get housed by the council and is claiming benifits for the first time. She is a manager with a big bank and is looking to go back when her maternity leave is over.
2007-03-01 19:59:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally agree, I have a partner and 4 children but when my partner worked away all week I was treated second class as people thought I was a single mum. I know many childless people who sponge of the state and they dont get treated the same as single parents. Its not fair but you are doing the right thing in the way you bring up your daughter. Ignore others and carry on doing your good work.
2007-03-01 08:41:50 · answer #3 · answered by brien123 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you, it's so wrong. I'm married, but a good friend of mine is a single mum and she's amongst the best parents I know. She works hard and her daughter is lovely.
The way they paint it is that all single parents are spongers , rubbish parents and therefore responsible for all of society's problems, and all married couples are hard workers and wonderful parents. What a ridiculous thing to say - it's the type of person you are that makes you a good or bad parent, not whether or not you're married.
I'm not surprised you're peeved.
If it helps, I don't believe it's the view of the majority.
2007-03-01 08:40:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I totally agree with you. Im also a single parent and sick of being treated like dirt by a society that thinks it is perfect. Im doing the best I can on my own and should be given a medal, not a kick. Just coz you're a single mum, it doesn't make you a slapper.
2007-03-01 22:05:07 · answer #5 · answered by VodkaChick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to differentiate yourself from other single mums if you dont all want to be tarred with the same brush (by definition)
If you dont want to be tarred with the same brush then you nee to highlight the differences between people in that situation.
You need to hihlight exactly the things you said, plus maybe say why you are single for example - if people see your arguments show you are a trustworthy honest and responsible person who acts with integrity then they will praise you forever - thats all you need to do
2007-03-01 08:43:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh girl, I have been in your place. I always worked to support my children; I had FIVE when my marriage broke up. My ex played silly beggars over maintenance, and while the courts were sorting it out, my kids still had to eat. At one stage i had three jobs; coffe shop in the mornings; cleaning work in the afternoon, and working in a takeaway at night.
I too, had to listen to the ones who told me I would be better off NOT working. I'm very proud of the fact I reared them single-handed; that they have all grown up strong and independent, and all of them are working and paying their way in the world.
Good for you; you will not regret the things you are doing, and you are a brilliant role model for your child.
2007-03-01 12:04:26 · answer #7 · answered by marie m 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Its totally wrong but it is typical generalisation, and happens in all walks of life, i.e single mothers are scroungers, teenagers are yobs, old people are miserable, Americans are show offs etc etc etc, (these are not my views just generalisations that I have observed) You know you are a good mother so hold your head high and don't stoop to the level of these ignorant people.
2007-03-01 08:39:39 · answer #8 · answered by Jolly Jo Jo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I admire you and I feel sorry for the genuine hard working women who are lumped into the same category as the lazy bone idle spongers who don't even bring their children up, but drag them up. Just hold your head up high and I'm sure your daughter will learn alot from you.
2007-03-01 08:39:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you know you are providing your daughter with the best that you can then that is what should matter to you. She will learn to be a strong woman by your example. I sure don't judge single moms because I am not one. I admire you for taking on all tasks on your own. That would be tough for sure. Just ignore those people and their opinions. It is all negative and jealousy that riles them up. If someone isn't happy with their own lives, they have to trash others to give themselves a boost. One day your daughter will be saying this when she is an adult "My mom raised me all by herself, did it all and I am proud of her!" Those rude comments won't matter then will they?
Good luck.
2007-03-01 11:15:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋