My husband and I wanted a little boy firstborn. We found out that we are having a girl. As a feminist, I feel guilty that I had a preference, as I genuinely believe in equality. The "I want a boy first to protect his little sisterl" is a nauseating cliche, but I have to admit that I bought into it. My question is why do we really want boys first? Is it really for protection or is it because society favors boys?
2007-03-01 08:07:10 · 13 answers · asked by mrs michelle 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
DUH...all that matters is HEALTH!!!! Just answer the question don't dodge it with a tired cliche.
2007-03-01 08:13:55 · update #1
Funny you say that. I wanted a girl so bad and I was upset to find out I was carrying a boy first time around. Then I enjoyed having a boy so much considering boys are closer to their mother. When I got pregnant for the second time, I wanted a boy. Guess what???? I got a girl, who is adorable.
I wanted a boy because even when a boy becomes a teenager they are always somewhat close with their mother. Girls tend to judge their mother more I believe. I cannot lie I am looking forward to going shopping with my daughter when she grows up.
As an answer to your question, I know a lot of people who would die to have a girl than a boy as their first child.I think it is just a feeling that comes to a parent especially the mother. We always have a perception of how we would parent our children and sometimes we look forward to the things we might do with one gender than other. Nothing wrong with it. It just natural!!!
2007-03-01 08:23:54 · answer #1 · answered by Cilek 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I never wanted a boy first. I didn't even know that the majority do LOL.
I will say that it is natural for women to have a preference for gender, for a lot of reasons. Maybe your mom had a boy first and it just seems natural to have a boy first for you too. (speaking in general terms there) It is also normal for women to feel disappointed when they find out the gender is opposite of what they were expecting. That does not make you a bad person. There are quite a few links out there about gender disappointment and how normal it is and what you can do to overcome it.
Here is one; http://www.bellybelly.com.au/articles/pregnancy/gender-disappointment
It's not as good as the one I read the other day. Wish I had bookmarked that one.
2007-03-02 03:58:42 · answer #2 · answered by totsandtwins04 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I, too, really wanted a boy first. When I found out I was having a girl, I cried my eyes out for the first month. Then when my daughter was born, I was smitten. I thought (and still think) that she is the most precious thing I've ever seen. I love her like no mother has ever loved a child before. She's a year old now and we're trying for #2. I would be THRILLED to have another girl, but I won't be disappointed to have a boy either.
Trust me on this, once that baby is placed in your arms, you won't care if it's boy or girl, yellow or purple. It will be love at first sight!
2007-03-01 11:10:52 · answer #3 · answered by Super Mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i hope society doesn't favor any gender...i had a boy first but i went though my whole pregnancey not knowing if i was having a boy or a girl some people believe its bad luck or it should just be a suprize...when everyone asked me what i wanted a girl or boy i just said either or cause i'll love it either way i didnt really think about what i wanted in gender i was having one and i was happy...excited and sooo many emotions that made me too busy to want one gender over another
2007-03-01 08:17:55 · answer #4 · answered by ashlee s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wanted a boy first, but mostly because his side already had a girl of this generation. I ended up having a girl the first time around, and a boy for baby number two. It's actually really nice because she kind of calms him down-I have a nephew almost the same age who is the first child in that family and he is a wild child!
2007-03-01 11:52:05 · answer #5 · answered by n2mama 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I too wanted a boy first. I guess you are right, it's the "boy to protect the little sister" philosophy. However, my mom was first and she protected her little brothers and I was first and pounded down anyone (boys and girls) who messed with my little brother. I also had a girl first and she protects her little sister. I guess you can't always get around stereo types but as long as you know where you stand, don't worry about it and don't feel guilty! It's natural!
2007-03-01 08:20:08 · answer #6 · answered by itsjustme 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lol, who knows? I wanted a little boy first for a few reasons. Number one, I always wanted a big brother and since I didn't, I wanted my children to have one. As for the other reasons, I'm sure there are underlying cultural reasons . . . babies are a blessing no matter their sex. Don't worry about feeling guilty . . . you're a pregnant lady and we all (!) struggle while pregnant. Good luck and hope your little girl is healthy and happy!
2007-03-01 08:13:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i wanted my first child to be a girl and then my second to be boy. I know that all men want their first child to be a boy so they won't have to worry about going to jail when their lil girl is 16 (lol) really for them its more about carrying on the family name. As far as having a boy first to protect the lil sister is true tho. Boys tend to take care of them.
2007-03-01 08:16:51 · answer #8 · answered by sarah 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yall want a boy first because they will make you feel safe even when his father is not around and the baby boy might remind you of his dad
2007-03-01 08:11:46 · answer #9 · answered by mellell 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I believe that american women would "prefer" to have a boy first so that all their other children will have a protector
2007-03-01 09:10:55 · answer #10 · answered by autumnofserenity@sbcglobal.net 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋