Alright, I've heard of the terrible twos...but we are entering uncharted territory. She's fine when she's with her father, myself or an adult, but when she's with other children she's mean to them. She constantly screams, bites (HARD), pulls out their hair and slaps my brother and sister-in-law (9 and 7years old) and my neice (2yrs old as well). We've tried tapping her hand, time out, redirecting... pretty much everything imaginable. NOTHING WORKS! She's such a sweet kid any other time. I tell the kids not to retaliate, but I just dont know what to do anymore. HELP!
2007-03-01 07:53:04 · 6 answers · asked by mariabeshy 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
At two, she should be old enough to understand time out and no.
I think you should remove her from the situation. Take her to another room and practice your holds so she can't bite you. Tell her she does not get a cookie or other treat because she bites. (but the other kids do) And then stick to it.
Does she say she does not want to play with the other kids at all? Or does she seem excited about it, but then when it happens she flipps out? If she does not want to go period, maybe try to take some time off. Or bring her own toys and books and let her play by herself in a corner or other room.
You can tell them other kids to not retaliate but hitting or biting, but they should tell her no.
2007-03-01 12:35:50 · answer #1 · answered by Katherine 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel bad, it really isn't uncharted territory, it is the terrible two's.
Time outs take a while to work and you have to be REALLY consistent. When we first started using time outs with our two year old he wouldn't stay put. We didn't want his crib to be a place of punishment so we used his stroller(we had a spare). We didn't have to hold him in time out, just buckle him in, and it is made to be portable so time outs were available anywhere we needed them to be(but, separate from everyone else).
You also have to explain very simply why you are putting your child in time out and give it plenty of time to work. At first you may want to use time outs only when your daughter is hurting someone else to try to get that under control faster.
It was really hard for us at first but, my two year now sits in time out, we don't need the stroller. He has a little chair in his room, we set the timer, I leave the room and come back when the timer goes off. He is right in that spot and ready to redeem himself. FYI,..The Family Rules is a great parenting book.
Good luck.:0)
2007-03-01 08:31:39 · answer #2 · answered by C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A couple things that have worked with my two year old daughter: you find something she really likes and take it away, ideally related to the problem, like not getting to play anymore, but if necessary, anything else, as long as it's something she really wants, like watching a video later or whatever.
also time out never used to work for my daughter until I remembered the neighbor telling me that she made her daughter put her nose on the wall because she wouldn't sit still in time out and now that works, if her nose comes off the wall I add another minute, sometimes she's had to stand there for seven or eight minutes, but it usually works.
2007-03-01 12:35:01 · answer #3 · answered by AMT 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may not like this but since you tell the other kids not to retaliate she may think it's ok to act that way towards other kids. When she acts up with adults is she disciplined?? If so that is why she knows to be good!! My 2yr. old does the same thing but unlike you I let the other kid hit her back, she needs to learn that if you hit someone 9 out of 10 times they will hit you back. It may sound like bad parenting but since she doesn't listen to me when I try to tell her not to do it or apologize she has to learn the hard way. I don't let them full on fight but the kids that don't hit her back she keeps messing with them she is a little bully and that sounds like your daughter she's a bully too. But at the age of 2 they don't really understand the magnitude of what they are doing and they are letting out their frustrations. But as parents we need to find a better way to show them how to handle tough situations. Hopefully for the both of us our kids will grow out it. Good Luck!!
2007-03-01 08:14:28 · answer #4 · answered by Lady A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to be in daycare...even if just for a day or two a week. That will teach her to relate to other kids. You may find that her behavior is completely different when adults she doesn't know are around and is in an educational setting.
2007-03-01 08:19:04 · answer #5 · answered by Sit'nTeach'nNanny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you give her time out is it away from the kids. You need to take her into another room and tell her that if she don't behave that she can't go back to play. See if that helps. Do this in a calm manner and explain to her what she is doing wrong.
2007-03-01 08:07:45 · answer #6 · answered by aimstir31 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋