i was in a relationship with a girl named natalia for about 3 years. There was alot of fighting and it wasnt the best relationship. We did have our good times but it was mostly not good. 2 weeks ago she broke up with me. 3 days later a girl messaged me on a dating site and i started talking to her. I hung out with once, it was harmless, and now i suddenly feel as though i dont care about natalia. I still love her but dont really want to be with her. This new girl i met is great and i love hanging out with her. She treats me much beter then Natalia. Now Natalia wants me back and is having a breakdown i guess. She treated me bad for 3 years now she says she will change. I dont know if im love with her. What do i do? please help me.
2007-03-01 07:32:09 · 11 answers · asked by john 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Do not go back to her. Many people say they'll change in relationships and although some actually do, most don't, and if it's been 3 years she most likely never will. You'll see that if you go back out with her she may seem like she changed at first but after awhile old habits will come back and everything will just keep repeating itself. I told my ex that I would change several times but everytime we got back together things just repeated themselves and we finally realized we just weren't right for each other. Plus you'll always wonder what could have been between you and the new girl you're seeing if you go back to your ex. And if you don't know if you're in love with her, you're not. It sucks to hurt people that love you, but you both need to be happy and it doesn't seem like you can be happy together. Stick with the new girl, and even if things don't work out between you two don't go back to your ex. Just move on and look forward to all the new people you'll meet along the way.
2007-03-01 07:45:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is rough. I believe that people can change, but they only will change for themselves - you can't make them change for you. 3 years of difficult behavior is a hard thing to let slide, and I don't believe you should.
However, that doesn't mean she can't change. In a nutshell, my advice is that you offer to just be friends. Tell her how you feel, and that you are confused about how you feel, and that it would be good for you if the two of you are not in a relationship right now. If she's really hell-bent on getting better, she'll be able to do that without being in an intimate relationship with you.
Also, it would probably be a good idea for you to date for awhile. See a few girls, get out of your skull a bit. It could help you clearly define what is love and what is lust and what is something in between... and, by proxy, just what it is you are feeling for this 3-year-heartache. It could be real, and she could get better. It could also be something else, or maybe she won't ever change.
Either way, good luck.
2007-03-01 07:40:15 · answer #2 · answered by vengerofthelight 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't commit to a relationship with anyone right now. Be on your own for a while and date-a-round (no not sleep around,just date). Take time for yourself and get to know someone better than just chatting and meeting once. Tell Natalia you would love to see her casually but not get serious again for a while to see how things pan out. Good luck!
2007-03-01 07:39:07 · answer #3 · answered by itsjustme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell Natalia that you love her, but have come to the realization that you will never be in love with her. You care for her as a person and a friend, but in retrospect you weren't happy in your relationship with her. It sounds to me as if the girl has issues she needs to work through. Be there for her as a friend, provided it doesn't get in the way of forming other relationships.
Move on. Find someone who makes you feel good, that you enjoy spending time with.
2007-03-01 07:38:56 · answer #4 · answered by catsovermen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take one day at a time...tell Natalia you need time and space to think about it and not to push you..and date this other girl for a while longer and see what happens...and make your choice from there..give it 2-3 more months...
2007-03-01 07:39:41 · answer #5 · answered by hononegah1988 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, yet he looks like a Boy and additionally you're searching for a guy. i'm no longer able to have self assurance that he did no longer convenience you while your mom became into in the well being facility!! this is a great pink flag in my opinion. It looks like he in simple terms would not care. Or as is being reported by utilising your friends, he's in simple terms too immature to care. the two way, i'm advantageous there are loads of alternative men wandering around your college that are emotionally mature adequate to handle you like the superb lady which you're. i'm thinking this is worthwhile to to allow this one pass when you consider that he's no longer being a stable boyfriend. stable success.
2016-10-02 05:10:33 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The same thing happened to me, Im assuming you are a "nice guy" so lets take it from there, my girl friend treated me like crap for about 3.5 years when I finally had the balls to get rid of her she went nuts and she really tried to do EVERYTHING to get me back, the funny thing was this, as long as I treated her like I didn't care she adored me and the few times I dropped my guard and be that " nice guy" she would cop an old attitude. the outcome was this I told her she had her chance to appreciate me and I didn't feel like treating her like sh-t to get her to be a good partner. Unfortunatly most woman like guys who will treat them like crap, so I say let them have exactly what they want , but don't be the one to give it to them, treating a woman badly does not make for a good relationship and it is just a waste of time \energy. peace.
2007-03-01 07:49:27 · answer #7 · answered by frogenstien 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want to be with her, than don't. Stay where you're wanted and treated well and don't look back.
People don't change that quick. Don't give up a chance for something better. Opportunity is knocking, go answer the door and have fun with the new girl.
2007-03-01 07:38:37 · answer #8 · answered by nokhada5 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that if you're questioning your love for her (smart to do considering what she seems to have put you through), I would say time and space would be your best bet - for at least a few weeks.
Take this time to find out what you want and who you are without her. And if you absolutely can not go on without this woman in your life - I'd say give it another go.
2007-03-01 07:38:18 · answer #9 · answered by *sheresa* 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in something similar. I wasn't perfect and my boyfriend for 3 years hated that. So we broke up and I missed him because I was so lonely. But I go over it. She is only lonely. Brush her off. Keep on seeing the one that treats you like you deserve to be treated.
2007-03-01 07:39:14 · answer #10 · answered by stepmom of 1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋