what is in my heart I am not able to express, I am not able to tell any1 nor even able to figure out what is in my heart. I am confused about this thing... I have a friend before she joined her college she used to have only 1 friend and that was me and after she joined college she got some friends. She often talks to me abt her new friends and the friends she likes.
I dont feel jealous but I feel like she cares no more for me. I dont mind her making new friends she has a right to make but some where I am not liking it. I feel like I am no more important to her and I am just like a friend among her friends. I mean I used to feel before that I am her only friend and it used to make me feel good.
I dont know what to do. I feel like she will forget me n I gave her hints that of she forgets me she will miss me. What should I do, dont tell me to talk to her, I just cant do that but u can give me hints to give her. please please help!!!
2007-03-01 07:28:16 · 12 answers · asked by Help me 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
dont worry about it too much she'l still want to be friends with you as youve been friends for a long time. It best to have more than one friend anyway, why dont you make more friends aswell, Im sure she would miss you if you wasnt around anymore so try not to worry to much.
2007-03-01 07:38:52 · answer #1 · answered by lisa c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, listen carefully. You are still her friend! She is doing what is natural and that is to make new friends in her new surroundings. She is excited about her new friends and wants to share that with you! If you don't want to lose her friendship, you need to do what ever you need to to fix the attitude that you have toward this situation. When you put things in the proper perspective, you will find that you will become excited about these new friends of hers. You will ask her questions about them, so you can kind of get to know them for yourself a little. One day, you may be able to meet her friends and if you are supportive and happy for her, you will all go and have a blast together!!! As long as you feel rejected, you are going to end up being rejected. Do not put her in the position of having to choose - what will happen if she does have to choose is that she will choose both you and her new friends, but because you don't accept the new friends, it will seem like she has only chosen them, when in reality, she chose you both, but you rejected them, not her rejecting you. Does that make sense? I hope it helps.
But, this will be very difficult. And I realize I have not offered any clue as to how to go about working on the attitude toward the new friends. The only thing I can suggest is that you need to really think about what is happening - she is excited and telling you about the other friends, and because you are her friend - you WILL try to see it from her eyes. Think of how she is feeling. Try to share that with her. This will be very difficult. In fact it may be so difficult that it may take a strategy that I use when I have to do something like that - Its called "fake it till you make it". What that means is that at first, just go through the "motions". Even if it means faking being happy about everything she's telling you. Ask questions that will show her that you are excited too. Even if it hurts. Keep doing this, and I can guarantee you that soon, it will become habit and the "happy" that you have been faking, will suddenly become the "happy" that you will be "making". And it works, I use it when I have to do the most difficult things like that. Give it a try and hang in there because nothing worth having is that easy. good luck - I will pray for you.
by the way, if you still have trouble coping with this, please get some counseling - it should help, no matter what!
2007-03-01 15:28:45 · answer #2 · answered by zaytox0724 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like just another part of growing up. Your childhood friends might not last a lifetime. Life often takes us in different directions, and keeping a friendship is very difficult when there's no common ground. Just accept that things change and try to love your friend as she is now. And as a good friend, you do have to let her go and experience new people and things without making her feel guilty about it. You're both going to change a lot through the years. Perhaps you'll remain friends, perhaps you'll drift apart. New people will come and go. That's life. Be well.
2007-03-01 07:54:48 · answer #3 · answered by CJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its sad to hear that your feeling a little rejected. You don't need to. Your friend has just joined this college, its a big step into adult life, she is probably feeling that she need to try to fit in with people and adapt to her new surroundings. Also she is probably mixing with other students who share the same subjects and topics,with which they are studying. People grow and develop and try different paths to walk on. Its a part of breaking away and moving into the world. If she is a true friend and deserves a part of your heart, then she will always be your friend. I think that you should also try, to develop new friendships with other people, its important to have lots of acquaintances and to remain close with your true friends. Enjoy yourself and have fun and perhaps try to be a bit less sensitive, (which is hard when you are the way your are). Take life for what it is, a learning experience. People will walk in and out of your life, nothing is forever, its only for now. Take care and your sun will shine again. Don't worry.
2007-03-01 07:52:43 · answer #4 · answered by ambertottie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As her mate, why not ask your mate whether it's a good idea to meet up and know her other mates?
Just because she has new friends, it does not mean that she will wipe you off her list. You will always remain special to her. Try to catch up on her and see what's new with your mate.
I am at university, and I keep making new friends that are different to those who I know back home. When I get back, I am often greeted and catch up with my old mates. If you feel that the friendship is worth keeping, then try to find ways to maintain that communication.
Don't try to make her take priorities over who is more important. She is in college, so I a presuming she is nearing 17. In that case, it is time to act mature and accept the fact that your mate has other things on her hands other than you. As a mate you can support when she needs it.
Good luck
2007-03-01 07:39:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there a way that you can go out with her and her new friends and get to know them?
In my opinion, any attempt to drop hints that you don't like her going out with new friends will come across as jealousy and make you look possessive and then you stand more chance of losing her altogether...
All you can really say to her is that you are worried that you will be excluded and this may encourage her to keep you included with her new friends.. you have to word it carefully though, so that she doesn't mistake it for a jealousy of her other friends.
2007-03-01 07:45:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first of all you have been her friend always. sometimes you are going to feel that way. but don't listen to what you see your friend would always consider you as the only friend shes always had. you could tell her what you feel and i bet she is going to tell you the same thing. she would never trade a friend that has always been with her for a couple of others that she berely met. try to get along more with her and live does feelings aside. and if she does then you go your side and get your own way. she would know what a real friend is when her friends put her aside. well good luck. try talking with her about what you feel.
2007-03-01 07:37:55 · answer #7 · answered by la huerita 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may be trying to include you in her uni life, I do that with others. I have friends who have been friends since quite young. Making new friends does not necessarily mean one forgets old friends.
Be glad for her and cherish the moments you do have together.
--That Cheeky Lad
2007-03-01 12:38:51 · answer #8 · answered by Charles-CeeJay_UK_ USA/CheekyLad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you are jealous...but that's OK. Just try not to show your friend that you are so jealous.
She will still be your friend. She just has new friends. You try to make new friends too.
It's life...so don't spoil the friendship with your friend by being too possessive.
2007-03-01 07:43:02 · answer #9 · answered by Afi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself, who is the one special friend she talks too about her new friends.
Who is the friend she feels so comfortable with she can tell all about her new life at college.
One day you will make new friends and then you can tell her all about them
2007-03-01 08:11:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋