I met this boy that I go to college with. He's from a few states away and he has a girlfriend back in his hometown that's still in high school. He knows that I really like him and I know through his roommate that he feels the same way. I haven't done anything to further our relationship at all, except for the fact that I've been a good friend to him and we hang out all the time. He did spend a night in my bed, but that was only because his roommate had his girlfriend over for the night. He flirts with me a lot and I don't ignore it, but we haven't done anything more. I've been used before and I'm pretty sure he's not using me right now. My friends all think he's going to dump his girlfriend for me over spring break, but I really don't know what to think, even if he always blows her off when she calls and they argue about it all the time. Anyway, all of my friends are telling me that I'm a homewrecker. Eh... Is it true? I don't think I'm doing anything wrong!
2007-03-01 07:25:34 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You are being responsible and i respect your decision to not persue anything with him while he is attached. If he is not being honest with his girlfriend about his feelings that is on his shoulders. Your friends need to grow up a bit it sounds like,
2007-03-01 07:29:39 · answer #1 · answered by Courtney C 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He is the one with the girlfriend, not you with a boyfriend. If he was really trying to be faithful to her then he should not be flirting with you, or sleeping in your bed (even if nothing happened). And you say that you haven't done anything to further the relationship but you have-you give him the attention that he craves and wants! You don't tell him that it is strictly a friendship thing. To me, it sounds like you want more from this than friendship too. Technically, you are not doing anything wrong-he is. I personally do NOT think you are a home wrecker-again, he is! Do you want this relationship to go to the next level? If so, I suggest that you tell him you are hoping for more from the relationship then just friends. If not, I also suggest that you tell him this BEFORE spring break! You might be in for a shock if you wait too long, in either case. Good luck!
2007-03-01 07:35:12 · answer #2 · answered by dragondave187 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Play it smart and look for signs that he might be double dipping, but it is awfully hard to keep a relationship going when there is an age difference between high school and college. He's out there seeing the world in a different light and she's still in high school with the same perspectives they had together. I think you'd be smart to ensure that the other relationship is over, but you're not a homewrecker. He's not married. Just has a girlfriend that he has obviously grown apart from...
2007-03-01 07:31:09 · answer #3 · answered by Lisa A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I truly believe people clique for a reason. Sounds like you two are off to a good start in case anything ever arises. The main thing is that you both know and understand the situation. That's the adult side of it. The childish side is he is not being honest with his current girlfriend and should let her go if he wishes to pursue you. He should be adult enough to either pursue you fully and let his current gf go to make it fair for you, or he should stop teasing you and play with your emotions and stay true to his gf. I wouldn't say you are a homewrecker since you are aware of the situation and not doing something to truly harm the situation. I have no doubts that he will let his gf go and come to you for a more meaningful relationship since you two be togther more closely during the school years. I hope all will work out for you! =)
2007-03-01 07:38:20 · answer #4 · answered by indyhype 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they are not married or living together, you're not a homewrecker. Sounds like your being pretty conservative about the situation. If this guy was truly happy with what he already has, he wouldn't be so easily encouraged to stray. I don't think you're doing anything wrong. Relationships have different levels of intensity and nothing guarantees that they will grow or last. Keep your eyes and ears open and expect the unexpected. Just don't let your guard completely down. Que sara, sara! What will be, will be!!
2007-03-01 07:37:03 · answer #5 · answered by georgiarose_01 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, she is only a girlfriend so there is no home to wreck? But anyway, this is what being young is about, meeting someone, exploring the chemistry, seeing what follows. It is always on the cards that when a couple is separated by distance, that they both might meet someone else? Love is pretty much a case of geography a lot of the time. He probably should have broken up with her first and I wouldn't be going any further with it until he does, but I think you need not worry about doing anything wrong.
2007-03-01 07:31:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should remain friends don't allow anything to happen as long as he is still with his girlfriend. Don't let him use you as an excuse for breaking things off with his girlfriend. If you haven't messed around then how can you be a home wrecker? If he's showing interest in you then he must not feel the way he did for his girl... or maybe he's just a dog.
2007-03-01 07:35:58 · answer #7 · answered by tjmoore83102 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your actions don't qualify as a 'homewrecker' in my opinion--it's not as if they are actually married. My guess is that this hometown girlfriend would be really upset if she knew what you just disclosed about your relationship with her boyfriend. Just don't forget that is what he is at this point....her boyfriend. You seem to feel insecure about what's happening. I was engaged when I met my college sweetheart and broke up w/the finance shortly after we met in order for us to be a couple. He would not have accepted my continuing to see my 'hometown boyfriend' while still hanging out with him. Your 'friend' has a choice to make--he can break up w/his girlfriend in order to be with you or continue that relationship. You need clarity as to what his intentions are....he can't have it both ways unless you allow it. If you like the guy...ask him what category he'd put your relationship in. good luck
2007-03-01 07:34:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think you're doing anything more wrong than the guy is. He is the one that has the girlfriend and if he really cared about her he would not be flirting and stay the night in your bed with you. He might break up with her becuase it doesnt sound like a strong relationship btwn them anyway. If anything, just be his friend and if he does end it with the other girl then move in...
2007-03-01 07:31:34 · answer #9 · answered by all4him 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A homewrecker is someone that breaks up a FAMILY. Not some kid that is in college with a high school gf 4 states away.
Wait it out and don't get your hopes up till he finally breaks up with her.
Good Luck!
2007-03-01 07:31:10 · answer #10 · answered by Jo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know the feeling...as they say..."been there,been done" you don't have to feel guilty for liking the guy, you are not to blame for feeling that way. You'll only be judged right or wrong on how you would act upon that feeling. Just keep on observing first, try to keep your distance from the guy...if he still insist, then he really is in-love with you. Don't be the cause of their break-up, that way you won't be called a home-wrecker. God speed!
2007-03-01 07:43:56 · answer #11 · answered by just like you 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋