I am in love with a friend, and he loves me too! He is married!!! And has a kid! I broke up with my ex BF months ago, we were all friends. The man wants to leave his wife for me, he is unhappy. We haven't done anything yet, I would only consider it if he moves out and files for divorce. I don't want to be a home wrecker, but we get along so well. He is 48 and I am 27. What should I do? Should I put his son before my happiness? It has been bothering me. I don't want to mess up his kid, he doesn't either. He doesn't seem his age, he doesn't act old. We are great together. Can you believe his wife hasn't put out it five years???!!! I know we can be happy together, but when everyone finds out they will say we had an affair then only type of affair we have had is emotional. What do I do?
2007-03-01 07:21:31 · 12 answers · asked by babygirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
His happiness directly correlates with his kids happiness. My parents divorced, and I am glad they did because now they are both happy, instead of miserable for eachother. He needs to just make sure his kid knows its not his fault, and he still loves him. If he is not happy, and hasn't been, than maybe he should get a divorce. I think you are doing the right thing, and waiting to do anything until the divorce papers are drawn. For his sake and his properties sake, dont do anything until it is over, or she might fight him for everything on infidelity. Basically what i am trying to say is, there is never a justified reason to living an unhappy life, and he should do what makes him happy. At this time try to be more of a friend, and worry about what he is going through, rather than creating a relationship with him just yet
2007-03-01 07:29:58 · answer #1 · answered by sjhockeyfan 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Be careful...that line about his wife not putting out for 5 yrs is his word...you don't really know that for a fact. Anyway, you should only believe he loves you if and when he leaves his wife. He has a son to consider and the possibility to get part-time custody would be hard on him and his son. Cut all contact with this cheater until you have proof positive that his word is the truth.
Seems you are already a home wrecker, even if the "affair" is just emotional.
2007-03-01 07:31:14 · answer #2 · answered by Pat K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this is going to sound harsh, but : Run. Run like the WIND. If he really is unhappy in his marriage, he will leave his wife, but do you want the karma of being the one that caused their breakup? And how do you know that his wife hasn't put out in five years? Do you have a video camera in their bedroom? Do you think him staying in a marriage that was an unhappy sham isn't messing his kid up already? If he leaves her for you, what's to say he won't tell some other, younger girl that YOU haven't put out in five years?
I'd stay away from the "unhappily" married men, for the sake of your heart as well as his, his wife's and his son's. He needs to work out his relationship with his wife before he starts one with you. That's their business.
Either break it off now, and move on, or break it off now and say you'll be with him when he is divorced (wait for the papers to be filed, with signatures from BOTH parties and ask to see a copy).
2007-03-01 07:30:41 · answer #3 · answered by mikah_smiles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I can't believe his wife hasn't put out in 5 years -- and you shouldn't believe it, either. That's the biggest Bull-poop man line ever spoken, right along with "my wife and I have an understanding..."
Put it in this perspective... do you want to be involved with a man who disrespects his wife so much that he would start an emotional affair with someone else while still living with his wife? Or.. with a man who has so little conviction, he can't even make up his mind to leave to make his own life better.
I'm not trying to be judgemental - I've been with my share of married men. Trust me when I say --nothing good can come of this. Just my two cents... good luck either way.
2007-03-01 07:32:42 · answer #4 · answered by kelannde 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't believe that you believe his wife hasn't put out in five years. You should know that if that man is lying to his wife and having an affair with you, what makes you think he is telling the truth. There are three sides to every failed marriage. His, hers, and the truth. If he is claiming to be staying because of the children, you have been deceived. You need to also keep in mind that what goes around, comes around. You will get yours very soon. Thank you and may GOD help you.
2007-03-01 07:30:38 · answer #5 · answered by cookie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well make sure it what u both one and i feel u wo nt be a home recker as they do nt have a life together as u said she ahs nt put out do nt waste ur time wondering should you go for it as u knw what u wnat and so does he i think go for it but make sure he telling u thr truth about wnating to leave his wife and be with you what i m thinking is why has he not left before this until now im sure he does love you and wnats u but will he really go throuh with it i would say move out and then stay freinds and when the dust hads settled then get togther this way it wo nr look as if ur to blame. hope all,works out for u
2007-03-01 07:31:55 · answer #6 · answered by dd 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DON"T
Men are known liars! His wife does not put it out? Yeah! Bet she hasn't heard that one.
That two timing jerk needs to know your are not that dumb! Good Grief woman your are how old????? Do you have a daddy? A brother? A male cousin? ASK THEM. I would bet anything he is lying to you and her. And he has not got a clue about how this will hurt his children, his wife and YOU. Please give him the shove. Do not even talk on the phone untill the divorce is final for 6 months! Then I would still think twice!
2007-03-01 07:29:47 · answer #7 · answered by chattanooga chip 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He leaves his wife for you - abandoning her and their child.
He gets together with you.
What makes you think that he's not going to do it again? He's already done it once.
Yes - you will be a homewrecker and you will be forcing this man to throw his child in front of a moving bus, which is what divorce does to a child.
You'd better give this some very careful thought.
FP
2007-03-01 07:25:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just wait and let him make his moves and get away from her and his son can still have a mom in his life no matter what.
2007-03-01 07:39:55 · answer #9 · answered by Angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you gotta think long term..... when youre 48 he will be 69.....are you sure this is what you want......i know you must want this very much but your brain should know better....and i hope you do the wise thing.....however you could always remain friends.........you are still young and have plenty going for you...well anyway the choice is yours
2007-03-01 07:29:26 · answer #10 · answered by Joanna - Harry Potter Fan 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋