When a parent has a spoiled child, it is their own fault. The job of the parent is to teach the child to get along in life, to get along in the world. You have to start when the child is very young. They have to know that there are rules, when rules are broken there are consequences, and that is a fact of life. You have to teach them how to appreciate the things they have and they cannot do this if you buy them every little thing they want. What I would do is take everything away from the child and make her earn everything back. I wouldn't care how much she cried and whined either. It would take a lot of patience on the parent's part but it can be done. It's all about re-teaching.
2007-03-01 12:11:43
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answer #1
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answered by Brown eyed girl 7
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I would never have a child like this, because both my kids know that I don't tolerate spoiled-brats. I raise my kids the way my parents raised me, the way their parents raised them. The RIGHT WAY!! Respect, discipline, love and little bit of fear. I am well adjusted, intelligent and very proud of my life, and my kids will be much the same way. Kids need guidance - that's why their the kids and we're the adults. Unfotunately, you can not do anything about someone elses kid....as much as you would like to. Believe me, I know. No parent wants to hear that their child is rotten or that they screwed up; criticism is NOT accepted, no matter how true or helpful. The best you can do is maybe comment to the child that you don't appreciate being treated so rudely in front of her mom and maybe she will see. If your friends mom is alive, have HER talk to your friend, if they are on good terms. If not, then it would be easy to understand why your friend spoils her daughter. You can comment about how odd you find it that she allows her daughter to say or do those things, but be prepared for either denial or an attack on what and why you are saying that. I am a mom and I don't like people telling me how to raise my kids, especially since I am constantly told how well-behaved my kids are, but I do try to recognize if my kids are acting out of line. I am just more open minded than some other people. Good luck with it, though.
2007-03-01 07:30:20
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answer #2
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answered by Melissa M 2
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I'd stay away from it. The only way stuck up people start to change thier ways is when they realize no one likes them. And if your friend is allowing this behavior I'd stop hanging out with her too so she begins to understand no one likes her kid and therefore people don't want to hang out with them. If your truly asking advice, I wish it were not the end of my day on line because I could tell you some strategies (I am a behavior specialist) you could share with your friend. In Brief; you can do social stories teaching and practicing manners (give her the right words to use and show her how people are suppose to act), expose the child to strict rules and take away her belongings when she has been bad (teach her that bad behavior produces negative results), have her donate old toys to needy children (teach empathy), reinforce positive interactions and behaviors with almost disgusting praise and either ignore the negative behavior or do as mentioned above (restrict her activities/toys). Probably the biggest problem you'll have is with her mother, if her mother doesn't change her behavior neither will her child. The most common question I get is how can you fix my child, and my answer is "I can't but you can". And the ultimate results of the positive behavior change are reflected in the amount of change the parent is able to make to their behavior. There's a direct correlation to the two. Hope this helps.
2007-03-01 07:42:12
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answer #3
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answered by Anonymous
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Depends on how the old the child is. If the child is over the age of 10 and that spoiled, and been spoiled all her life, it will be really hard for parents not to spoil her without causing emotional harm. The best thing to do is just not spoil kids from the moment they are born. Make them earn things, not just get them. Have them understand the value of money and hard work.
2007-03-01 07:28:18
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answer #4
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answered by Anonymous
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Most parents do not realize their kids are spoiled brats, and they don't want to hear that anyone else thinks this. If you are willing to sacrifice the friendship I would put the child in her place verbally while her mother is present, take the gift back and leave. You might make the mom angry, but at least you would have given the child some much needed lessons in manners.
2007-03-01 15:08:06
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answer #5
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answered by n2mama 7
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Obviously her parents let her rule the roost and have not done a lot to discipline. I've seen this alot. Sometimes they just think it's cute that these little brats act like adults so they encourage the behavior. Sometimes it is because they are inconsistant with their discipline, but whatever they are doing, it's going to get worse. The hard thing is, most of these parents don't want to hear it. I see it all the time teaching Kindergarten. I have kiddos who behave perfectly fine for me, but when they are with their parents, they are little terrors who boss their parents around.
I want to scream sometimes and let the parents know that it's just going to get worse and when the kid is grown up they will be so screwed up. At 5 years old they are still somewhat controlable, but once they get to be teenagers they will run rampant and be in all sorts of trouble.
If you are close enough with this friend, you may hint to them that this is their child's future, but honestly most people won't listen, even if it comes from a close relative or friend. And if you step in to discipline then the parents usually get even madder.
Maybe I would mention to this parent that you or your child's feelings were hurt when they snarled their nose at the present or that you saw someone else who's feelings were hurt. I personally wouldn't buy this little one anymore presents if she is going to be so rude, but others will so it may not change anything.
Sorry I couldn't be anymore help.
2007-03-01 08:10:00
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answer #6
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answered by Serena 5
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The parents are to blame in this case. I would never have a spoiled brat child, because I know the importance of discipline and teaching children to work. And if my child ever acted spoiled you can better believe there would be some changes made around the house.
2007-03-01 07:45:26
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answer #7
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answered by Anonymous
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You can have a talk with your friend. The best way to approach this is to have a good solution. There is a great series of books and a web site listed below. It is the best common sense book based on consequences and making good decisions I've ever read. But not all parents are receptive to critiscm about their children, so there may be issues with your friendship after you speak to her. But who wants to deal with a kid like that anyway???
2007-03-01 07:25:21
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answer #8
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answered by Lisa A 4
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Serious discipline is needed here. The parents need to teach her how to be polite and that she cant always get what she wants. The parents should start giving some tough love to this kid now or theyre going to have a rebellious, selfish, uncontrollable teenager in a few years and then theyll be sorry that they didnt discipline her when they had a chance.
2007-03-01 07:52:03
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answer #9
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answered by Amanda 7
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Like Dr Phil says, spoiling a child is abuse and I agree. Those parents are definitely going to pay a big price later down the road and that child will end up miserable.
2007-03-01 07:26:11
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answer #10
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answered by Anonymous
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