fight with mom about homeschooling.?

Question

this has been a problem since august, i am now going to a public high school coming from a private school. i screwed up last year a lot and failed 2 classes so my parents didn't want to waste their money and all that. i guess you can say i've developed a school phobia because my anxiety catches up with me everyday i am there. in the mornings i basically refuse to go because i just can't take it anymore. i know i'm basically complaining about it but its the 2nd semester and it's killing me even more to be there. my mom says homeschooling is not an option and we get into big fights about it and she punishes me by taking everything away until i go to school again. i know there's only 3 more months left, but each month i get more and more depressed about it and i need some really good points about homeschooling
anny help?

i am on anti depressants-- and as for finding good qualities about school..
i've tried but really the only good thing about this school is the vending machine. the administration has lost my records about two times already, i've gotten 4 detentions on being two seconds late to a class. but knowing only a few people, going to the library at lunch time, and how my mom treats me like crap because i just cant get over it's a much different environment where i do not feel safe at all

tough it out?
to the last person, i'm asking for help
not an okay for people to bash me like that. i know life is tough, i've been through a lot already to know that it is tough.

Answer 1

What about getting some help?
Social anxiety is the third most common mental helath problem, only after depression and alcohol.
And hey, when you're SAD like me, you're extremely lucky if you don't get into the alcohol (I'm straight).
So, been there, done that, but they didn't have the right kind of help twenty years ago.
You got a shot hon.
Your mom needs to stop fighting and start finding real answers!
Good luck!

Answer 2

I know how that is; I went through the exact same thing. I'm homeschooled now because I got myself expelled, but even though I couldn't stand school, I wish I was still going to a normal high school. I was on anti-depressants and I had really bad social anxiety, and now that I'm home schooled my anxiety's even worse and I can't even go to the store without freaking out. Plus if you don't know what you're doing when you start home schooling, it's really difficult.
But if you're really set on being home schooled, just look online for somewhere near you that helps home schooled kids (like here it's just called The Home School Building). The people there can help you get what you need and give you the bascis and whatnot. And if there isn't a place like that near you, you can always get some info from the library or internet...

Whatever you end up doing, good luck.

Answer 3

I get where you're coming from - I was homeschooled up until 5th grade, when my mom and I started getting into fights and I was forced to go to public school. I guess that I like public school better than homeschooling, but I suppose that's just because my mother and I are both pretty stubborn. I think that your problem is that you associate school with negativity - when you think of it, you don't think of anything positive. Homeschooling definitely has its advantages - in fact, most homeschooled kids are actually smarter than those who are public-schooled (I was ahead of most of the kids in my class in 5th grade and still maintain high honor roll grades, and I really do think that it's because I was homeschooled). If your mother seems to have expressed that her answer is final, try to find something good about school, something to look forward to. Try a sport or an after-school club, or try your hardest in your strongest class. If you still want to convince your mom that homeschooling is better, gather some facts - real, convincing information - and take care of everything for her. For example, find the numbers or locations of homeschooling support groups in your area. Find a catalog that sells text books. Don't let her have any excuses. However, I don't suggest that you fight her too much: if she's already told you that the answer is no, don't keep bugging her. Good luck =)

Answer 4

That's a shame that you and your mom are fighting like that. I have phobias too (my brother and I both disliked school until college). Have you considered counseling? Sometimes though, in my case, it's a genetic thing, my dad had them, too.

Have you considered, negotiating with your mom? Seeing if she will let you try homeschooling on a trial basis and if your grades are good allowing you to continue? It sounds from what you've said you've failed classes previously so maybe if you are doing well in the homeschool environment and approaching her in a cool, rational reasoning way, she will be more likely to agree.

You could also do the research for your state and find out what homeschools are there and that you want to try. I don't know what state you are in, but many have virtual schools and/or k12 that you can do for free and have teacher supervision if that is a concern for her. If you post an update with your state, I or someone else can probably tell you what the virtual school(s) is for your state. Good luck with your mom!

Answer 5

Well, first of all, whining and crying to get your way will not help your case. If anything, it will make your mother less likely to listen to you.

Columbia University did a study that showed that homeschoolers scored higher on college entrance exams than other students.

Your mother could be worried about your social skills. There are many co-ops and organizations that make sure your social skills are fine and allow you to participate in extra-curricular activities.

She could be worried about the money. There are some that are free, but there are also some that cost money.

She might think you are trying to/will get lazy in your schoolwork. You could set a daily, weekly, and monthly schedule for what you want to get done in school. If your parents would be more comfortable, have them set it. Make sure your schedule is realistic.

Do some research into homeschooling, so you aren't just jumping into something head first. If money is not an issue, try the American School of Correspondence or Penn Foster. Both of these are accredited, so your diploma will be recognized by colleges. I went through the American School of Correspondence for high school, and I am going through Penn Foster career school now.

You need to sit down and have a reasonable discussion with your mother. Ask her to explain why she does not approve of homeschooling. Listen to her concerns. Then, tell her why you want to be homeschooled. You could even show her your question and the answers.

If you have any questions, contact me at [e-mail].
www.americanschoolofcorr.com
www.pennfoster.edu

Answer 6

So sorry to hear of your situation.

I would suggest showing your mom that you are serious about learning at home by working out a learning plan and showing it to her. Maybe even get to work on following it in your own time... after school and weekends! Prove to her that you are committed and willing to take responsibility for your education.

There is a great book that may be of use to you, as it contains lots of useful advice for teenagers taking responsibility for their own education... including hints for convincing parents!

It is called Grace Llewellyn's Teenage Liberation Handbook:How to Quit School and Get a Real Life and Education

Maybe you can borrow a copy from your library, or buy it from a bookstore, or on-line.

Some of the things covered are:
* Reasons for considering quitting school.
* Awakening your natural ability to learn and teach yourself.
* Gaining your parents' support.
* Legal issues.
* Creating a personalised learning program that excites and motivates you.
* How you can go to college without going to high school.
* Finding work experience opportunities such as volunteer positions and apprenticeships.

We have home educated our son, now 12, from the very beginning and certainly feel it's a far better way, especially as you are having problems and feeling so depressed.

If you'd like to read some homeschool articles, and try some fun and a bit unusual educational activities have a look at http://www.barinya.com/

I wish you luck in this endeavor!

Answer 7

My brother and I are homeschooled. I'm almost 14 and he is 11. He has social anxiety, that's the reason my mom took him out of school in 1st grade, he would not stay there. He would cry every morning and cling on to my mom. He ended up missing almost every day of school for two weeks and had to stay at day care because my mom had to work. After missing two weeks of school my mom was going to have to go to court if she didn't homeschool him or make him stay at school. She decided to homeschool him and after I finished that year if school I joined him. We've been homeschooled ever since and I think it's been the best the possible for both of us. I know my situation is different than yours but it's also similar in some ways. I don't have any advice to help you with your mom except reading this to her, it might make her think about what's best for you. Good luck!

Answer 8

duz ur mom know what's going on with u? homeschooling is very beneficial. i don't know if ur a senior or not, but u could graduate early. also it sounds like all that stuff might not be good for concentrating during class. also if u planning on college and its a good point with ur mom, studies show that they are accepting more homeschool students than any other. and the school rules about being like 2 seconds late to class (my friend has a teacher that closes her door at exactly 8:00 or watever time they are sposed to be there.) are outrageous. there are a bunch of reasons on why to be homeschooled. i don't have any sites for reference but Google or Yahoo! homeschooling and find out what u can so u can present a reasonable case on y u should be homeschooled. I hope u succeed!!! i'd like to know the outcome if u don't mind that is. best of luck!!!

[e-mail]

Answer 9

You've got to stop fighting with your mom about homeschooling. From her perspective, you've screwed up and are probably trying to find another way to not live up to what you need to do. It would not surprise me at all if she thinks that homeschooling for you would just be a way for you to completely slack off. (I'm NOT saying that's your intention, but a certain amount of trust has been lost because of past behaviour and it's likely that your mother doesn't trust you enough at this point to have you homeschooled.)

That's the first thing to do. Second thing is to practise humility: admit to yourself that you don't know if homeschooling really would be best for you or not. You might be quite certain about it, but you can not really know. Keep this humility with you during your interactions with your mom.

The third thing is, with this humility, have a good talk with your mom, sharing your feelings (not your wants, but what you are feeling) and that you don't know what to do about it. All kinds of solutions may come out--homeschooling may or may not be one of them.

Go to school until such time, if it happens, that you are pulled out. Talk to your school guidance counsellor. Make sure you get regular appointments with whomever prescribed you the anti-depressants. Take the time to find out about homeschooling or possible independent study programs where you live. It may never be an option, though, and this is something you need to accept. Above all, do NOT argue about this with your mom. You can bring it up, write her a letter, but stay humble and don't ever allow yourself to think or say that you need to homeschool or that it's the best thing or anything like that. Listen to her. Listen to her fears. Listen to her reasoning. When she says homeschooling isn't an option, it is for what she sees as very valid reasons.

Answer 10

This is indeed a quandary!!! You really should be obedient to your mother and go to school.
Now, with that said, I will tell you that I am not in favor of public schools.
BUT, you can learn to do your very best with what you have been given.
Be thankful. Be thankful for your mom, your school, your brain.... don't waste time messing around and worrying about yourself at all.
FOCUS on BEING the VERY BEST that YOU can BE!!! Do your very best to get to class on time. Listen to instructions. Do the work and get the grade. Now, don't leave it at that.
GO ONE STEP HIGHER!!!!
Make it your business to succeed. Get it into your head that learning is something that you will be doing all of your life. We must all learn something new every single day.
You can get the most out of your classroom day and then take in upon yourself to *home-school* at the same time. Get the very best math books, writing/grammar instruction books and a full library of excellent reading material. Study at home whenever you are there. Show your mom that you are responsible and willing to work. Help around the house by doing chores. Help mom with meals and cleaning up. Do your own laundry. etc.etc.etc. Take charge of yourself and become the person that God knows you can be. After all He made you.