are my parents overprotective?

Question

I'm 13 and i want 2 go out with my friends, they let me go 2 places where they have been lots of times before, i've never had a boyfriend and don't believe me that i haven't got 1, none of my friends parents mind and let them go out places. I'm not a trouble maker or bad, i just want a bit more freedom. I no that they should be concerned with all these bad things happening but how can i make them worry less?

Answer 1

Thank your lucky stars that you have got parents that
have so much love for you!!
You are sensible enough to realise that bad things do
happen, and as parents it's our responsibility to care
for you and keep you safe from harm.
You have to understand the way they feel, and reassure
them. Let them keep close tabs on you so that they
know where you are. It is when you go out and we don't know
where you are that sets us of worrying!!
Can you imagine how they would feel if anything did happen
to you. They would never get over it. So be the kind loving
child that you are. You will soon be all grown up and be able
to make your own mind up. (Your parents will never stop
worrying about you howver old you are).
Just give them your trust. Good Luck!!

Answer 2

sounds to me like you have a really bad problem on your hands..... parents who worry about YOU! Imagine that!!! (sarcasm).

Listen, don't get me wrong.... I know exactly what you are going through but imagine the alternative ... you could have parents that don't give a crap about anything, not you, not your activities, friends, etc.

You have to understand that as your parent, they too have to learn to let go but everything must be done at the right time! I don't think a 13 yr. old NEEDS much freedom. You say that you are allowed to go out so what is the problem? If you are gripping over curfews and limitations then get over it.... we all have them!
We all need rules to abide by, doesn't matter if you are a kid or an adult, we all need some form of discipline.

I have an 18 yr. old son who we sheltered alot, he is very smart and has always been ahead academically. He was one yr ahead and his principal still wanted to move him up ahead even more (which we fought against) and because of this he ended up with kids that were older then him. And of course all the other kids had later curfews then what my son had. And so there were constant fights over this. While my son was 17, his friend were 19, 20 and had curfews that were past midnight or no curfews at all. My son of course had to be home by 11 or midnight on weekends. You see we have a state law that will fine us if he is out past that curfew.... I was looking out after my own son, I was not worried about what time his friends were able to stay out until. It would be me who would be fined, it would be ME / our family and HIM who would suffering if anything happened to him... not his friends.

Look ~ if this is your biggest complaint you could find, you need to
sit down and count your blessing. As long as you have shelter, food, clothing, good health, & family.... you are well provided for.

You are not going to make your parents stop worrying or worry less....Sounds like you have caring parents -- be grateful for that.

Answer 3

You have to sit and talk to your parents and be open about everything. If they think they have any reason not to trust you they won't. My parents were the same way. If you have a cell phone maybe letting them know you'll have it on you and call and check in like every hour or two that will help. Let them met your friends too, that way they know that you're friends aren't trouble makers either. Oh and always leave an alternate number, like if you're going to a friends house make sure you leave them a number they can reach you at there besides your cell.

Answer 4

There is actually no problem with them being overprotective. Appreciate it. I would say that you will need some patience....while they're getting used to the idea that their little girl is starting to grow up. In time they will let you go all you want. In the meantime, just try your best to be the best teenager that anyone could ever have. That way, they'll trust you and you'll never have any problems with them letting you go somewhere. If they give you a curfew, then always come home early. I assure you that they will appreciate it....and you'll never get grounded. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 5

You'll never be able to make your parents worry less. From how you described yourself, you sound like the ideal child, that any parent could love. Unfortunately you were born at a time when the world isn't so nice, your parents want to protect you. Try not to be upset with your parents, as a parent, it's hard to let go. One reason is the older someone gets the more pain they've seen. Whether they've been through it or just know someone who's been through it. When I was a junior in High School, we had a sniper shoot and kill 6 people and then he hanged himself, before I graduated 8 kids in my class were killed by drunk drivers, 14 girls were pregnant, 30 boys and girls had been to jail, 21 of my classmates didn't graduate. This in a class of 300 students, in a small town in western NY with a population of 22,000. I told you these things because tragedy can happen anywhere and parents try to protect the ones they love and you sound like you are really loved. When I was 16 I thought I could hang out with my friends, go places do things and have fun. That was my intention, but I used drugs, had sex, stole, lied to my parents and lost their trust. Over the next 30 years I realized my parents were right and I was wrong, too late for me, my dad died in 1983 and my mom died in 1999. Can I get a do over, nope, but you have a chance to be a kid and you only get one chance to be one. You'll have plenty of time to go out with your friends. Be glad your parents care about you like they do. You're lucky.

Answer 6

I don't think you can make parents worry less. And as you have said in your question, there are a lot of bad things that happen to people! If they know where you are going, that will help them worry less. If they know what time you are coming home, that might help. But if you are going to be late home because you've missed a bus, PHONE THEM! Parents do worry about there children. If I had any I would worry!

Answer 7

Firstly, your parents worry because they love you and don't want bad things to happen to you. And until you turn 18, it is their job to make sure you are safe. Love them for that, because a lot of kids don't get that kind of concern anymore.

If you want them to trust you more, you need to sit them down and talk to them very seriously about how YOU can make THEM worry less. Ask them if they would feel better if you checked in while you were out (eg: calling before you go into the movies, or calling when you're on your way home). Ask them if it would make them feel better if they knew exactly who you were going out with, where you were going and which parent was responsible for dropping you off and picking you up. Promise them that you will always be home by curfew and let them set the time. Tell them you don't have a boyfriend but when (and if) you get one, you will bring him to meet them within the first week of dating so they will know who you are seeing. Tell them even if you do get a boyfriend, you won't go on one-on-one dates until you are 15 (or whatever age they set). Also, tell them that you don't want to go out and cause trouble, but that you just want to go out and enjoy your freedom a little bit. Point out that you're getting good grades (and if you're not, then don't bother trying to get more freedom until your grades improve). Do all your chores around the house. Be responsible and respectful to your parents. Listen to them when they talk.

And remember, you're only 13. If they say No, you still have plenty of time to negotiate with them and figure out what age they think it would be okay for you to go out more. They won't instantly let you go out and do whatever you want to do whenever you want to do it, but if you slowly build up some trust and let them know that you're being smart about going out, they might yield and let you do more in the future.

Answer 8

there not overprotective just protective and rightly so.
you r their prize possession. its better this way than them not giving a damn.

for now the best thing you can do is stick to the rules and as you get older and the more they know you can be trusted the more they'll ease up.
when your out text them if you go some where else or just to let them know your ok and you'll see them soon.
i wish i had done things like this when i was growing up then there would have been a lot less arguing.
now i have a daughter of my own i know what they went through and shes only three wait till she starts going out!
i'm not looking forward to it!

hope this helps x

Answer 9

honey...you are still very young....as far as your parents are concerned, you are still their little girl and they will wrap you up in cotton wool for the rest of your life....there are a lot of bad things happening out there and they don't want you in the middle of it, they are not being over protective or mean, they love you and want the best for you they care, talk to them calmly and ask them to come to an agreement with you...meet you half way, ask them if you can go out on the condition that you are home by a certain time, contact them at least twice while your out, and call dad when your coming home....don't go into a teen tantrum because they will not allow it, be sensible, and show them that you are being grown up about it, they will respect you more and they will start to trust you...but like i said, you are very young, when i was your age i wanted to do all the things you want to do...i wanted to be an adult before my time, and thought that i was at one point, but i needed my parents, and yes i was their baby girl, they cut me some slack when i hit 18, so be patient hun, they will come to your way of thinking if you are sensible about it.....

Answer 10

Well just tell them they should be happy and proud of you because you don't go out with friends that smoke use drugs or anything like that (if so). Maybe hold back on the boyfriend question for a little while. Just tell them more about what you are doing and who you are going with.