I want to be a SAHM for a few years but I'm worried..?

Question

I want to be a SAHM for a few years but I am worried about losing my skills. When you have a child to take care of there is never time for anything like reading up on the latest journals. We are also planning another child soon. My husband earns good money and I can stay home easily but I worry non stop about the prejudice I would encounter should i need to reenter the workforce in 7 -9 years once both kids are in school full time. I am selling products on Ebay to supplement are income and I am having a hard time doing this with the baby and I earn only a modest amount. It is painfully hard to find time for this but I get it done when baby is sleeping or late at night. I'm worried that Ebay is too risky to build a living on, what do you think I should do. My husband really wants me at home, not to limit me but because he has a high powered job where he must travel a lot and has no time for the baby other than 20 minutes a day . He has no time for house maintenance either>

I think I worry because since I was little I have been terrified of being homeless, so much so that I took a paper route at 8 years old in case my parents died. It is a very big fear.

Answer 1

I have found that staying at home with my 10 month old, once I firmly decided to, has been the best thing. My husband does not have a very high paying job, so it does stretch things with me not working, but I have found that agreeing with my husband to stay at home is really great. To keep my skills honed, whenever we go to the store or something and there's a problem, I would be the one to try to straighten it out. Also taking any extra seconds in my day to read up on things.

Answer 2

You're right to worry about losing your skills. I am a SAHM who is thinking about rejoining the workforce and when I read the classified ads, I'm stunned to see the new requirements for what used to be simple jobs! I've never even heard of some of the computer programs companies are expecting be to be proficient at! Maybe you could split the difference and try for a part time job where you could keep your skills sharp. A few hours a week of daycare will probably benefit your child(ren) socially as well. I also sell on ebay and find it hard carving out the time and space to photograph and list everything. At least your husband is a good provider. Don't worry about being homeless. You and your husband are both hard workers and would never let that happen. I'm sure if push came to shove, both of you would do whatever necessary to keep a roof over the heads of your children.

Answer 3

You should stay home. If you guys can afford it, just do it.

You can always go back into the workforce WHENEVER you want. Really. You can. It doesn't matter what your skill set is. You will either make less money if you aren't at the top of your game, or you will find you didn't drop behind too far, but your kids are only little once. And honestly, you CAN find time to read the latest journals when you are home. Think about it. Go to bed when the kids do and read then. Or during their nap. Just set aside the time to do it like you set aside time to do laundry.

I tried going back to work six years ago when my first baby was a toddler and found it very difficult. Since we could also afford it, I stayed home. I'm still here, with two kids now. Once they are both in school full-time I might choose to go back to work part-time but honestly, taking care of a house and kids IS a full-time job. Those that work have to cut corners somewhere, it's often doing all the laundry on the weekends, etc. If you're home you can just manage it all easily day-to-day and still have special time for your kids.

Remember, you can always, always, always change your mind and go back to work but you can't turn back the clock and get that time with your kids back. Give it a try, you might really enjoy it.

Best wishes!

Answer 4

You will be fine. When you need to go back to work, an employer will not look down on you for taking time out to be a mom. Also, you have already proven to yourself that you have the skills you need for a good job. If you need to work, you know you can.

There are many things you can do beside EBay as well. Mary Kay, Tupperware, and there are many other home-based businesses out there. You could also take an online class or a Saturday class at a local college. This will keep your mind alert and up to date on anything new an employer may looking for.

Answer 5

your children are more important than any job, or thoughts from others concerning your decision.


Should you choose to go back to work once the kids are in school, you'll be just fine. I think you're worrying way too much about it all. ENJOY the time you have at home... most mothers out there would kill to have the option of being a SAHM without stressing over funds. And since your husband does travel a lot, you being at home will give your children that sense of security instead of being bounced around to babysitters/daycare while you work.

Relax, and take advantage of being able to be at home raising your kids!!!!!

Answer 6

You could always go with the flow for now and then take a couple refresher courses or seminars when you're getting ready to re-enter the workforce.

So much can change in that time span. Maybe e-bay will really take off for you and you won't have to worry about re-entering the work force.

Take one day at a time and enjoy being hom with your kids instead of worrying about what you'll do in 7 or 9 years. That's too far away.

I only took 9 months off with my first and while I was off, I was told that my position would not be held for me, and then they called me back early when my replacement quit to the position that was supposedly not being held for me. Then I took a year off with my second and my employer "eliminated my position" while I was gone. When it was time for me to go back to work, I found a job doing roughly the same thing for a different company that is 10 million times better than the company I was working at before.

So, don't worry now about 7 years from now. So much can change.

Answer 7

I know exactly what you mean! I work in a field that uses technology that changes daily-if I am out of work for two weeks, I feel like I am totally lost when I return! But I am also about to pull the last few strands of hair out of my head because my heart is not in my work-it's at home with my daughter.

I don't fear being homeless. What I fear is losing my independence. Right now, I earn my own money, when I want to go buy something, I go buy it without guilt. If I stay at home, then I would feel funny going out & buying the things I want and not feeling as though I have contributed to the finances.

In the end, though, you have to look at things, prioritize, and then act without fear or regret.

Good luck to you & your family!

Answer 8

i have been a sahm for 4 in a half years now and i love it .. i love the feeling of being home with my kids .. knowing that i take care of them i also baby sit some kids on the side .. to make me some spending money .. trust me the best reward in ur childs face would be you spending time with them through out the day .. my kids love it .. my one daughter is in preschool now and shes gone for a few hrs so i get cleaning done then .. i got a 5 year old and a 1 year old

good luck

Answer 9

my cousin wrote a really good book about this very subject....but of course now I can't remember the title....do a book search on this subject at your library or amazon....there's probably lots of good info out there, and you say you don't have time, but you can make time, trust me....where there is a will, there is a way....Good Luck, staying at home with the youngun's is one of the best things you'll ever do for your kids!

Answer 10

When you die do you think you will more regret losing your job skills or missing out on your child's life? Duh. Stay home.