Pressure to attend "Mary Kay" and "Longerberger Basket" type parties by co-workers?

Question

Since I started working an office job about four months ago, I am constantly pressured by my female co-workers to attend and/or throw my own make-up, kitchen product, basket, food, blah blah blah parties. I have NO interest in this stuff, I'm only 22!! I feel like they keep trying to guilt me into going and spending my money. How can I explain to them that I am not now nor will I ever want to go to a party where we try on mud masks or talk about baskets- without hurting thier feelings?

Oh and don't even get me started on all thier kids' fund raiser crap I've had to spend money on....

Minutes after I posted this question, one of the women started harassing me about having an Arbonne party and becuase I'm such a wuss I couldn't say no, I didn't say yes either, just that I would think about it. I need some serious help here she is so pushy and I'm freaking out!!

Answer 1

I completely understand your situation. there are several ways to handle this....

1) get an anonymous e-mail address from yahoo or wherever and e-mail these women or your boss and tell them they are making people uncomfortable in the workplace and suggest using a sign up list in the break room.

2) Thank them politely and tell them that you are saving money to buy a house or an education....or whatever and would not like to participate in there parties.

3) Buy a pack of thank you cards and whenever you are asked to attend these parties write a no thank you card that says "unfortunately, I do not have an interest in "whatever they are selling" nor will I in the near future and thanks for thinking of me. This will stop them.

4) Post a letter in the break room that says...everyone does not have the same interests and likes that you may have. Instead of making people feel uncomfortable in the workplace, please put all parties, invites, or school fundraisers in the break room so those who want to participate will do so voluntarily.

5) Lastly, Stop buying things you don't want to. this causes them to keep coming back!! I have two kids and I only post fundraisers on the fridge at work. We are not allowed to harass our co-workers with such things. No inner office e-mail is even allowed. You can thank the perverts for the kids candy sales, they are not allowed to do it door to door anymore. The schools them the kids to have their parents take the forms to work. But again, by placing it in the kitchen allows people who want to support the school can and others don't feel pressured.

Just remember to be nice, smile, and say no thank you.

Tell the make up mongers you only wear a certain brand that is store bought, and maybe that will help.

Answer 2

So a 22 year old is not interested in make-up, food or parties?

Seriously, I understand the guilt trip they're playing on you. You want to be a part of the office and you also don't want to be impolite because these are they people you work with and see everyday. But you have to start saying "no but thank you for the invitation." If it doesn't stop, inform a manager. The office is not a place for such things.

Answer 3

You will have to learn to say "no thank you" period. I know exactly what you are going through.

They WILL pressure you, no matter what. Just repeat yourself and eventually they will get the message.

No thank you, no thank you, no thank you.

Whatever you do, DO NOT give them your home or cell telephone number. If you leave the company where you are working, or they leave, they WILL call you and ask you to attend these "parties", even a year or two later - I'm not kidding. Now you are put on the spot without prior preparation.

These are just another method of selling - to get your money disguised as "parties" rather than renting a booth in a mall. They may provide some snacks and beverages, then you may feel obligated to buy something to save face. The final goal is to open your wallet.

I am sure you have better things to do. I have. I enjoy my own hobbies also travel.

As far as their children's fundraising efforts, I buy a box of cookies once a year. That is it.

Be firm, you have the power, keep that wallet zipped closed.

Answer 4

I feel your pain! Just tell them that you are happy with the products that you are already using. If you ever become interested in their prodcuts, you will contact them. I never buy things from their kids fund raisers (I have my own son to buy from). But you can just say you're on a diet or watching what you eat, if the fund raiser is selling food. You can be polite and glance through tha magazine but them hand it back and say "i don't really need anything new right now." If they still bug you, just say "I don't need these things and I can't afford them anyways. I haven't gotten a decent raise yet." and give a small laugh.

If they STILL bug you, then you'll have to tell them that you'd appreciate it if they would not ask you anymore.. Good luck!

Answer 5

I personally agree with you. I hate all those 'fund raiser' type things. I just politely decline and after a while the invites decrease or stop. My work has a "no solicitation" policy and this helps also. Maybe you could approach your boss on starting this type of policy. Plus I think its wrong for the parents to try to sell their kids school projects at work. The kids are supposed to do the selling.

Answer 6

You know what. Just be honest. I get asked to attend parties all the time. I just tell them this. No thank you. I am not into that stuff. I'm sure the products are great,but its just not me,but thanks for asking. When they start on there kids fund raisers. Just tell them that you are fundraiserd out. Or if its more junk food. Tell them that you are trying to cut back on buying things like that.

Answer 7

I know what you are saying- I hate those things!!!
These things run rampant in most office environments.
AND if you go to one you will be expected to go to the other parties, a never ending cycle of coffee, cake, and expensive items that you really don't want.
My suggestion is to tell them you won't be coming but you would like to see a book. Then don't order anything. If they come around after the party asking if you wanted to order--simply say no but thanks for asking.
Eventually they will stop asking.
One note though, if you do not purchase from their parties or from their children occasionally........think twice before asking them to sponsor you for a cancer walk or something like that...the heads wills start spinning like in the exorcist LOL.

Answer 8

Just tell them it's against your religion. And if they ask why, tell them you can't tell them anymore. because that falls under one of the rules of the church. You could also tell them that you have a phobia of attending these events and was told by your doctor not to attend any such (sucky) functions ever. Or you could think of it this way. While on your way to one of these events your risking getting in a serious accident and hurting someone innocent seriously (or getting hurt yourself seriously, and thus putting the future of your family plans in jeopardy.) All for what, fear of saying NO!!!! Well, hope this helps you out.

Answer 9

I hear you, I'm a 24 year old male and they bug me too. Buy this, buy that, help my kid's school, etc. The best policy is to be honest and say you're not interested. Tell them you can't afford to spend the money right now, that works too. Good luck!

Answer 10

You have to put your foot down in the most polite way. You do have to work with these people and you don't want to alienate them professionally. Just say 'no thanks', but don't say something like 'no thanks, I only have time for my boyfriend.' because that will make these social leeches really jealous and then they'll start saying nasty things about you behind your back and eventually do whatever they can to sabotage your position at work. Good luck!