I quit drinking many timeS But AA is not for me.?

Question

I have been trying to quit drinking for years now. I quit for weeks on end But when I go out and drink I get so drunk. I been to aa meetings over and I know thay are good But Let me tell you I feel like they are very clickish. The guys in them Make it a lifestyle. They go on fishing trips ball games. etc. some stay there 25 years!
I am not looking for a club just to quit drinking. It seems like they droped there LIFE TO BECOME A AA MEMBER. BIG CULT.

Yea, you see some who just go for the friendship and I dont think they ever Had a drinking problem.

Answer 1

AA's not for everyone. AA's literature states that "they have no monopoly on getting sober." It's one of unfortunately only a few ways that alcoholics have found that consistantly works in helping folks stay sober. The key word is consistantly.

First, going to meetings is NOT the AA program of recovery. Setting in a chair in an AA meeting doesn't make a person sober anymore than sitting in a chair in a garage makes them a car. No where in the 12-steps does it say "go to meetings!" Therein lies the key - the 12-steps. Finding a sponsor is the key. Working the steps is the answer.

If you don't like a particular meeting or a group, find another. There's another key, a good home group, one where you feel comfortable and can be of service. You're right, some people trade a bar stool for an AA group. But that's OK for some. For me, AA's not my life, but it's a way of life. I try to carry all of AA 12-steps in my everyday life, yet most evenings I try to attend a meeting when I can. I attend at minimum of 4 a week. During Xmas I attended more, not out of fear of drinking, but to escape the non-alcoholics in my life. We (my wife is Al-Anon) go to 4 conferences a year (2 at the beach and 2 at home) and attend our local picnics and dances when we can. We go on one big vacation a year at a sober Club Med. I also volunteer at a halfway house and sponsor guys. Yet I have a family and a 40 hr a week job, too. The bottom line is because of AA.

After 20 years nearly all my friends are in the program. It just happened that way. I have a saying, "there's two things I can't stand, a drunk person when I'm sober and a sober person when I'm drunk!" AA's not a cult when practiced like most folks do. In the beginning I went to meetings because I had to, then I went because I wanted to, now I go because it's 8 pm. It beats sitting in a jail cell, or a bar, or being dead - because the way I drank, that's where I was headed. It took many detoxes, rehabs, DWIs, wife #1, etc. to get where I am today. You don't have to follow my lead, you know?

Search around for different meetings, get some phone members and join a clique. If you don't like the cliques, start one of your own!

Be well.

By the way, I'm not powerless over "my disease," I'm powerless over beverage alcohol. I can not consistantly predict what will happen if I take a drink. Throughout my drinking, that holds true. Once I have one, the phenonema of craving develops. I may stop at one this time, but in the back of my mind all I'll think about is when I can drink again. This concept will boggle the non-alcoholic. After 20 years, I have recovered. I no longer suffer. But I am NOT cured. My brain chemistry will no longer allow me to have a social drink or two - it doesn't matter if you can't live with that concept, I have to live with it. Regarding the success statistics, the "success rate" is less today than in years past. Many folks are "forced" to attend, many folks who may not be alcoholic. What matters is the individual statistic, me. AA has no opinion on what others think of AA, right or wrong, cult or no cult. We have a way out that has worked for us and if you're interested, come join us. If not, best wishes. Just remember, our doors are always open and everyone is always welcome to come back, no matter what.

Answer 2

I never liked AA...

I quit abusing things on my own when I took stock and realized that I was using substance to self medicate my way through painfull issues I had to turn around and face on my own without a buffer....

AA teaches that you are powerless and will always be an alcoholic. That is not the case... I have never believed that what you do defines the totality of who you are.

Not to mention they are intrusive and touchy feely... Too much so for me!

Answer 3

Part of AA dogma is that you NEED a group to quit. Support is helpful, but ultimately it is you that picks up the next drink or not.

I did not find AA helpful in any way, in fact, I feel it kept me from getting the help I needed by promising me that they had a solution, the ONLY solution. What they offered was a thinly disguised RELIGION. Many call it a cult, all I know is that they promised me that if I left I would DIE.

After 20 years in and out of the rooms, managing only a few months of sobriety at a time, I took responsibility for my actions and my recovery. I got professional help for depression, got involved with online groups for support, and have been sober for over 5 years.

Testimonials don't mean much, what do statistics show?:

-5% of newcomers get sober in AA
-5% of those who attempt quitting on their own succeed.
-People exposed to AA are 4-5 times as likely to engage in binge drinking than those who attempt quitting on their own. (Brandsma study)
-People in AA are 5 times as likely to DIE in their first year as those who attempt quitting on their own. (Vaillant study)
-80% of people who think they have a problem with drugs or alcohol quit on their own, only 10% seek any type of treatment. (The Harvard Mental Health Letter, Volume 12, Number 4, October 1995)

George Vaillant, Harvard professor, researcher, and member of AA's Board of Trustees attempted to prove that AA works. He later said of his findings, "Not only had we failed to alter the natural history of alcoholism, but our death rate of three percent a year was appalling."

See: http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-effectiveness.html

Many AA members denounce statistics and studies, part of that reason, I suppose, is that there have been NO controlled studies that prove AA works better that any other method or no method at all.

Here are some alternatives:

SOS (Save OurSelves):
http://www.sossobriety.org/
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/sossaveourselves/

LifeRing Secular Recovery:
http://www.unhooked.com/

Women For Sobriety:
http://www.womenforsobriety.org/

Smart Recovery:
http://www.smartrecovery.org/

Rational Recovery Not a support group, but a recovery method that many swear by.(free introductory tool- AVRT, is very effective):
http://www.rational.org/

Answer 4

Someone posted that AA has a 20% sucess rate but it actually 5%. I am sorry and wish you the best of luck.

Answer 5

You can get over the craving for alcohol by using EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) or Emotional Tapping. EFT is an acupressure tapping technique. It is easy to learn (you can learn it in 15-30 minutes). You can do it anytime, anyplace for any emotional or physical issue (including drinking). You can use it for present of past issues. I learned EFT last March and now use it everyday.

To learn EFT, please download the free EFT Instructional manual from the EFT website (www.emofree.com).

Answer 6

I know of no other way that people have successfully quit drinking over the long haul than AA.

Keep trying different meetings until you find one where you click with people. If that's not possible, try to find one or two people within a meeting that you relate to- you don't have to bond with everyone.

I wish you the very best. It's a tough road ahead. But you owe it to yourself to give it another shot!

Answer 7

AA doesn't work because they ask you to "admit you are powerless to the disease". I f that is true then why go there? You already admit failure. My mom got her 15 year chip recently which is awesome but I disagree with being powerless to a "disease". Go to www.narconon.org if you are serious. AA has a <20% success rate. Narconon >80%.

Answer 8

Sometimes alcholism can form from traumatic events in one's life. Drugs and alcohol can be a form of self medicating. My suggestion would be to talk to a psychiatrits or therapist about the symptoms you have and ask about techniques to help quit.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/alcoholism/DS00340

Hope this helps

Answer 9

have you tried SOS or Rational Recovery? Both have very good techniques for helping you stay sober.

Answer 10

those people in those aa things really are a bunch of fruit loops