OK here goes im dating this guy now(off and on we had a break twice for 2months in total because of my personal problems...)Anyways before me he was dating this other girl for 4 years(off and on also cause she cheated on him etc...)Now im a very past kinda "work with it girl "I believe its ALWAYS the PAST that judges the future!! I just recently red this fact about guys saying "A guy cant get over his girlfriend that hes been dating for 3years or more"
Its been almost 1year now that hes not been dating her BUT he still talks to her(SHE PHONES HIM)the thing is he answers!!
Usually I dont date guys who hav had serious realtionships cause I know there are sum feelings involved Guys what do y'all think?
Am i over reacting?
Every time I ask him about her he says he doesnt love her etc.(she was the first girl he slept with he is 18)
I want to believe him but hey the truth stays the truth.....HELP PLEASE 10 POINTS!!!!!!!AM I CRAZY
2007-03-01 05:33:10 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Vic, right off the bat, you are all ready doubting and you pretty much answered your own question, why oh why would you even put yourself in a stressful relationship when there are so many and mean so many awesome guys out there who know how to treat a lady. If it feels good than it is good and if not then its plain and simply not. Do you love yourself? Do you deserve to be loved? Is he worth giving your heart to? Only you know those answerer's and only you know what you deserve. Feel good about yourself and enjoy the good things in life. You deserve it.
Your Beautiful, Not Crazy.
Sincerely,
SuperDave
2007-03-01 05:52:40 · answer #1 · answered by SuperDave 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is possible to "get over" your long term relationships. Your feelings can change, so that you no longer love the person anymore. It is, however, very common to have friendships linger, especially if the breakup wasn't horrible, or enough time has passed to put it all behind.
There don't always have to be feelings left over, and it's not true that you can never get over a long relationship. I have several long relationships in my past, and the person means nothing to me anymore. I come across one occasionally in a social setting, and one I was friends with for a while before distance drifted that away.
If you're not happy that your boyfriends have dating histories and relationships that were established before you came along, you're not going to be happy with almost any mature adult male. Either they've had meaningful relationships in the past, and are capable of them now -- or they've never dated anyone seriously and are going to be newbies to the ideas of steady dating and committment. There's not a lot of middle ground.
2007-03-01 13:41:03 · answer #2 · answered by Jarien 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
here's a thing, a guy has a special bond with his first serious girlfriend, especially the first girl he slept with.
my first girlfriend was a lovely girl, we dated when we were 18, lost our virginity together, and drifted apart.
i spent the next 10 years finding other girls just didn't compare to her in some way. she did the same.
we got back together 18 months ago and we're getting married next year.
there's always someone special. it wasn't like my other relationships didn't work because of this girl, just in retrospect i can see that she was better in some way.
if this guy is still answering his ex's calls then he's still hung up on her.
from my perspective when you enter a new relationship you should end the old one. end it dead. that relationship is over, you owe it your new partner to give them your full attention.
some people say you can be friends with exes, i don't agree. men in particular can't really be platonic friends with women, especially not women they've had a relationship with, and had feelings for.
if the relationship really is over (and if she cheated on him) then he should be man enough to draw a line in the sand and ask her to leave him alone, then move on. if he has unfinished business with her then he has no right being in another relationship. if he won't give up his ex then you should finish with him, no good will come of it.
2007-03-01 13:45:14 · answer #3 · answered by brightspark 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly you have to trust him. If you dont have trust you dont have anything. If he tells you that nothing is going on and that they are just friends you just have to leave it at that. Dont press the issue because those who get cheated on are the ones accusing. I currently just broke it off with my ex and now we are just friends. It was alittle more recent so it does hurt alittle but we both know its for the best. I have anouther girl im trying to see and it just feels right. Same principle applys here. Just let it go and trust him.
2007-03-01 13:44:24 · answer #4 · answered by lethalx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to tell you this but maybe... maybe it's not working between the two of you. my ex had a relationship of half of year before me and he still had feelings for his ex. soooo.... that's why he's my ex :P and consider the fact that 6 months is nothing compared to 3 years
2007-03-01 13:39:59 · answer #5 · answered by sea_star 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's alright if they talk. All you have to do is keep acting like you are his "main" girl. By that I don't mean it's fine for him to have women on the side, I mean it's fine for him to have girls who are friends. Just make sure you're the main one in his life and let him know you're the main one in his.
2007-03-01 13:46:29 · answer #6 · answered by Icebox -0: Never Again 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you keep bugging him about her and bringing her up in conversations all you are going to do is drive a wedge between the two of you and he will go back to her. Lighten up.
2007-03-01 13:39:10 · answer #7 · answered by rilindy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him a chance. She's his past. You can be the future instead.
2007-03-01 13:37:31 · answer #8 · answered by fraunkensteen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'll settle for 2 pts.
2007-03-01 13:38:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dunno...not all guys are the same...give him a chance and see what happes just dont dive in headlong it only causes hurt...
2007-03-01 13:40:06 · answer #10 · answered by Ty D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋