i love my girl to the point i want to marry her. but i am now starting to have my worries with what she is doing when she isnt with me. this girl has had 13 sexual men in her life since is has been 14. she is now 21. she also has told me that she cheated many times in the past with on her ex's (but reasons that i could understand). she always has been open with me about her past and vice versa, but we have been serious since july and there are many times to where she can come over to my house on the way home from work....and i mean she HAS to drive by my house to get home..and most of the time, it is I who asks for her to stop by. she always wants me to visit her (mostly at her work) but i dont like that. so where do i take a stand? i dont want to pry into her personal life, but i also am following my heart with this one, & she claims that she would NEVER cheat on me b/c i am different than all the other guys. do i believe that? do i trust her? do i stop going out of my way for her?
2007-03-01 05:24:53 · 4 answers · asked by brianju 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There are some important lessons I learned within the past 10 years.
First, when it comes to relationships, pay attention to the "red flags" that pop up about a person. What I mean by that is this: if something that somebody does or says causes an alarm to go off inside your head, ignore it at your peril.
She said that she has a history of cheating on her past boyfriends? Man, that's a BIG one, and it leads me to the second one: there is NO excuse for cheating on someone, period. None whatsoever.
That leads me to the third one. Whatever one does before marriage will do ten times over afterwards. If she can find reasons for betraying the trust of another now, she will be quite the clever one when you two are married. If I may, keep in mind also that you indicated you go out of your way for her and she doesn't even give you a second thought ("she HAS to drive by my house to get home..and most of the time, it is I who asks for her to stop by").
I am in total agreement with you when you say that you have to protect your heart, so take this advice from someone who has found out this lesson the hard way. If a person really loves you, then you would tend to be the FIRST thought in their mind and they will love YOU and ONLY YOU and will NEVER even entertain the thought of cheating on you.
Do yourself a big favor and find someone who will actually love you totally and exclusively. You sound to me that you would treat someone the same way -- you deserve no less.
2007-03-01 06:05:11 · answer #1 · answered by calledkevinalot 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I would sit down and talk to her. Ask her if she has ever done anything behind your back. Because with most people, once you start cheating on people it is hard to stop. Start coming over to her house just out of no where with some roses or something. You never know what she might be hiding. I would at least give her a chance though...
Good Luck!
2007-03-01 05:31:21 · answer #2 · answered by Chelsea P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you desperate for a woman? Do yourself a favour, drop her like a ton of bricks and find yourself a nice lady. There are plenty still about. Good luck to you.
2007-03-01 05:43:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
until she does something to you to make you not trust her you need to trust her. Everyone has a past..... if you want to have a future with her then chill.
2007-03-01 05:29:02 · answer #4 · answered by The Voice Of Reason 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋