I have been married for almost a year and I am 4 months pregnant. I am in the worst marriage ever. I am not allowed to go outside, have friends, drive my car, go to school, keep my own money. NOTHING! I am left here all week long alone and when he is home it is just fight after fight. He picks on me, yells at me, hits me, curses me, just anything you can think of. I have 2 cats that he is mean to when he is mad at (USUALLY) just bc he knows I love them. I am trapped and so unhappy. I just wish I was dead more then to have to live this life. And I have no way out. I am far from my family and he has not allowed me to make one friend here. I am just so unhappy and tired of this all. And now I am pregnant by this bully. He was so differant before we were married then he imprisoned me. I am not even allowed to go on my porch. I am so bored, I am so unhappy! Why did God put me in this situation and let me get treated this way? WHat do I do? He takes everything I have.
2007-03-01 04:49:59 · 35 answers · asked by Noor 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I am allowed to be on the net THANK GOD! Ps I am also not Christain, I am Muslim.
2007-03-01 11:06:03 · update #1
First of all god didn't put you in this situation,,things like this happens everyday..I know I've been there and thought I didn't have a way out either cuz i had no friends, family etc..just the same story as your's only mine was also an alcoholic and yes i was pregnant as well. Your best possible chance is to find out what type of shelters there are for battered women because they keep your information confidential. This way they will allow you to contact family etc..to get help and then get the heck out when he's not there. Surely you have a way out of the house when he's not home. Keep his schedule in your head and keep track of it for a couple of days or even a week and then just up and leave without a word. Most woman like in your case don't leave simply just because they are scared, but think of it this way. Would you rather be beaten and scared the rest of your life or take a chance and just leave and take the chance to make your life better. Think about it and I wish you all the luck in the world because it's not an easy situation to deal with.
2007-03-01 05:02:31 · answer #1 · answered by Jessy 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You're not the only one who goes through this situation.
There's a lot of women even men who has to go through this ordeal. Sometimes you tend to question why God has put you in this situation. In my opinion, God puts you through a trial and yet still gives you a choice. I know its hard to give up a relationship because of marriage. However, the man you are with is abusive and insecure. The bottom line is this man is not going to make you happy and is not going to change. I do believe that sacrificing is the key to be happy once again. I'm not saying to leave him but try to find your happiness. Don't deprive yourself from being mentally healthy and being full of love. Remember you were once that person until you met him. Staying with this guy forever means being miserable for a long time. Don't stay with him for the wrong reasons. Someday there will come a time you might meet someone who is caring and will give you joy. Although it's just a matter of sacrificing your marriage and being with people who loves and cares for you.
2007-03-01 05:12:53 · answer #2 · answered by JAZZY1234 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all GOD did NOT put you in that situation, but he might be able to help get you out.
Obviously, you are able to use the internet and I suppose a telephone. We don't know what jurisdiction you live in, but probably your city/county/township will have some social services which you might be able to use. The town here has a shelter for women and children. Many places also have a suicide prevention hotline. People manning those lines would have a good idea about what might be available in your area. Some churches have counseling and other means of assistance for families in trouble. You might call some of the larger churches. If they don't have any such ministry, they will probably know who does.
Don't give up, life is worth the effort.
2007-03-01 05:09:00 · answer #3 · answered by plezurgui 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wanna get free? Try:
http://www.ndvh.org/
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
1-800-787-3224 (TTY)
I am not sure where you are located at, however several areas will help you with your cats. It is time leave NOW, before you get seriously hurt.
I don't know why you were placed into this situation, but I know why I was: To tell people in abusive situations: THERE IS A WAY OUT, YOU NEED TO TAKE IT NOW, AND THERE IS A BEAUTIFUL WORLD OUT HERE THAT WILL HELP YOU, however the first move is on you.
Above all, please remember, this guy will not change, no matter how much he says he will and he will beat that child just as much, if not more, than he beats you.
I know this is a scarey time for you, but there is lots of love out here for you girlfriend....send me an email if you wish...weazelusmc@aim.com.
2007-03-01 05:14:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are in a very difficult situation - it sounds like a nightmare, but you do have a way out - walk away and never look back, but plan it secretly before you do. Look for a women's shelter in you area, make arrangements to get into a shelter and go. They may also be able to find someone to house your cats temporarily. Don't worry about your clothes, belongings or anything else. Just get out of there and into a safe place as soon as you can. It will be very difficult to start over, but there are people that can help you get a new start and protect you from this monster.
2007-03-01 05:03:27 · answer #5 · answered by formerly_bob 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
PLEASE NOT SUICIDE!
On behalf of the male human race, I apologize greatly for what he has done. But as it seems, you are in a bit of a jam. However, I believe God has put you in this situation so that someone from Yahoo Answers could help you out of this problem. If anyone here suggests suicide, please ignore it.
You have several options:
1. Run Away
a. Go to a neighbors house; preferably with a family living in it. The head of the household will understand family values and will protect you.
b. If he hits you, you can go to the nearest police station and report abuse. They will sort it out.
c. Run to other family.
d. Fight back (not reccomended, but it is a choice, and if he gets very violent; to the point of killing violent, you can hit to kill. It will be listed usually under self defense.)
e. When he hits you, call 911. Tell them that you are being abused, and if he calls back, telling dispatch to not send the police, ignore it.
f. If he is keeping you locked up, then that usually is a crime; you are not under any mental illness, and you have your rights; call the police.
g. DONT COMMIT SUICIDE.
really sorry about what has happened and I hope it all works out, and i Hope I was helpful, but please don't commit suicide.
--enzo32ferrari
--these are suggestions, and are not what you must do. you can choose to do the above; I am not forcing you.
2007-03-01 05:04:00 · answer #6 · answered by enzo32ferrari 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You can 'get out' of this situation. When your husband is at work, simply walk 'out the door' and go to the closest Catholic church and tell them that you are a 'victim of domestic violence' and would like to be sent to a 'women's shelter' that is set up for them ... they'll make the call and tell you where to go. You MUST NOT let your husband know the address where you are going, and you really shouldn't 'deal with him in person' again ... you should get an 'attorney' (the shelter will have names that don't charge much money or none at all) and you should also do what the shelter tells you that you 'need' to do. But please don't 'hate' that baby because it's HIS ... it's also half yours, and if you can have it and 'raise it properly' then do that, but if you can't 'love it properly' because of the feelings you have toward him, then put it up for adoption.
2007-03-01 05:05:27 · answer #7 · answered by Kris L 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if you have to call 911 to tell them you are suicidal to get an ambulance to come to your door and pick you up, then explain to them your situation, so your husband can't force you to come back home, get the hell out of there. There are always options. Even going to a local battered women's shelter to get away until you can get a family member to come and get you. You need to be in a safe place until you can get back with your family. And take those poor cats to an animal shelter before your husband hurts them further. You will not likely be able to take the cats with you before you can get in touch with your family and they need to be safe too. Honestly, there is no excuse for allowing yourself to be treated this way. If he is an abuser, leave him. You not only have your own life to think about, but you also have the life of your unborn child as well. Stop allowing yourself to be a victim and take control of your life and your situation. There ARE ways out and suicide is not one of them. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. Now be the brave woman you truly are and get away from him...NOW!
2007-03-01 05:07:39 · answer #8 · answered by OranjTulip 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First and Foremost: God did NOT put you in this situation....you did. Second of all, you have options, call the police tell them what is going on. They will help you into a battered womens shelter. Stay in the shelter until you can get you on a plane to where they are. I know it seems hopeless, I have been there, but you and your childs future is at hand and you need to step up and be proactive, make the decision to leave. From experience I tell you that it is only going to get worse and the best thing for you to do is to get away, with your family living far away that will help tremendously to put alot of distance between you and him. Please don't wish you were dead, there is a whole other life out there just waiting for you to take the steps to jump in and give it your all!
2007-03-01 05:00:12 · answer #9 · answered by kim1032002 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well, first of all, please refrain from blaming God. God gives us freedom of choice, and unfortunate as your situation sounds, it is not Gods fault. Secondly, please dont commit suicide, especially if you are pregnant. There are local organizations everywhere that will help abused women. If you are allowed to use the phone, call your local police department, and ask about these organizations. Most of them will downright hide you until you can get on your feet and get away alone. If this man is that much of a bully to you, you need to get out before he harms your unborn child. And-if you do give birth, it sounds like this man is not a desirable father figure. Being a single mom is not an easy decision, but you could eventually get yourself to a position to be able to be together with your child alone and safe. And if the child has positive examples in his life asa opposed to the one he seems like he would have right now, he/she dont have to be like his/her father. Good luck! My prayers are with you-as I have been in abusive situations before myself.
2007-03-01 05:00:33 · answer #10 · answered by reconnermom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋