My boyfriend of 2 years was with another woman for 10 years. They have a child together (he's 9), but they've never been married. His ex is Asian, and does not have any relatives here (I'm trying to be objective as possible). However, she uses their child as a "bargaining chip" and threatens to take him to court for child support (apparently, he thinks they'll really stick it to him, although he has the child more than she does!). She has a new boyfriend who lives 8 hours from here, and various friends who are "always there", especially to go clubbing. Yet, no one is available to take her to needed doctor's appointments, so she asks my boyfriend to take her. When I question him about it (and, I don't mean "interrogate"), he gets angry and starts yelling at me about it, and doesn't seem to see why this should be an issue, "since they have a child together". Is this an appropriate argument? Is it appropriate for him to cater to her and I should not be concerned?
2007-03-01 04:07:54 · 7 answers · asked by sugarfoot69 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would be concerned. If there is not anything sneaky going on she is ovbiously trying to set something up. There is no other reason she would insist on having an excuse like that for them to be together.
I have known a woman just like that.
2007-03-01 04:13:37 · answer #1 · answered by CM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if the child needs to go to the doctor, then it is appropriate from him to take her along maybe, but if it is her appointment, she needs to find someone else to take her. And if no one is available, take a cab or a bus. The fact that he starts yelling at you when you ask him concerns me. Why does he get so upset about it? I personally don't think it is appropriate for him to take an ex girlfriend anywhere if it is causing issue in your relationship.
2007-03-01 04:14:46 · answer #2 · answered by Smiley 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well she is the mother of his child but he should still take your feelings into consideration.As long as he only takes her to where she needs to go and doesn't cater to her evey move then its okay but if you are feeling neglected and like you come second to her you really need to sit down with him and talk to him so the two of you can really understand what the situation is and if he feels that he has to do everything for her because of their child then maybe you need to find yourself doing some reevaluating in your relationship and he could take her to court if she keeps playing the teenager role in using their child as bait to get what she wants.
2007-03-01 04:15:53 · answer #3 · answered by Kiara H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does her being Asian have to do with anything? Cough cough racist cough cough. But yes, she is the mother of his child, so he is allowed to be concerned about her well-being. Remember, he was with her 5 times longer than he has been with you - there's no reason why he can't still have some kind of a relationship with her.
2007-03-01 04:21:32 · answer #4 · answered by pokecheckme 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, she is the mother of his baby. There's a certain responsibility he has to her. By ensuring she gets proper medical care, he is ensuring his child will have a mother. What is wrong with that? If you love him and trust him, you have nothing to worry about. Try to put yourself in his shoes. What would you do?
2007-03-01 04:12:55 · answer #5 · answered by peersignal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be concerned if she was asking him to take her to HER doctor apts, especially if she has friends that could to it. But if she is asking him to drive her and the kid to a doc appt for the kid, I wouldn't have a problem with that. If the kid is sick or what not, I would think he would want to go to those.
2007-03-01 04:12:11 · answer #6 · answered by Niffer 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well it's inappropriate for him NOT to pay child support.
2007-03-01 04:12:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋