sunday at my church service, i was approached by a couple of leaders of the church, and asked to be part of the worship team(band), because im a well gifted drummer, and they are in need of a drummer! well they asked me questions about my life, and my outlook on my where
my life stands with god, knowing ive had a rough past life growing up, spent 18 years
going in and out of prison for petty stuff, only finding it really hard to change time after
time! long story short, i finally got my life togather, and started doing the right thing!!
and i give thanks to my fiance who ive been with for a year now, and whos been my inspiration from day one, we live togather and yes we have un-maritial sex,and that was one of the churches concern,because of the accountability of church staff members!! if i do except this possition,then i would have to move out of my fiances apt, until we get married or agree to abstain from
sex until we get married! what do i do?? i really want to play for god!!
2007-03-01 03:42:06 · 24 answers · asked by Gangsta Of Luv 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
It's wonderful that you have done so much to turn your life around. I think you should continue along that path. Do what you feel God wants you to do. Let His will be done!
May God Bless you.
2007-03-01 03:56:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no getting around the fact that the Scripture teaches that premarital sex (fornication) is a sin. It is not one of those obscure passages that we can say we do not understand.
God also clearly states that God desires obedience rather than sacrifice.
Furthermore, God is always more interested in who you are than what you do. Why is this the case? Because your character and your values will greatly inform what you do.
You will not only be "playing for God," you will have the awesome responsiblity of leading God's people in worship. You will be not just be a gifted drummer but one of the lead worshipers and a leader in your church. So your private life is the church's business because you will lead by example.
By God's grace and the support of a wonderful woman, you have turned your life around. Take a further step of discipleship and follow Christ in obedience. If you are truly willing to do this, the Holy Spirit will empower you to do so and God will bless your life and this new ministry to which God is calling you.
By the way, if you do this, you will need to sit with your young woman and have some serious conversation so she does not feel rejected. And it might be preferable if you sit with your pastor and get some counseling.
My prayers are with you
2007-03-01 12:04:40 · answer #2 · answered by Kay T 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you could pick another church if that one doesn't sound like the right one for you.
A sin is a sin and you living with your fiance an sleeping together is no different than them expectig you to be accountable to them and not God. I understand that they want role models as leaders and that is understandable. You are a role model. You are the normal typical Christian that JC was ministreing to. If they want you to give your testimony then that should help clear things up. What you do in your bed is private. That should never be brought up. That is between you/her and God. Good luck to you and pray to God for guidance. I am not condoning the sin of premarital sex I am just saying that you are accountable to God on that one. We all sin and no sin is greater than the other. People judge and tend to forget that from the Bible. Again the real issue is one of a role model to the kids in the church. Talk to God about it.
2007-03-01 11:50:42 · answer #3 · answered by momof2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand where the leaders of the church are coming from. If you are living with your fiance, why not get married? Being part of the worship team is a very fulfilling experience. You won't regret it. I will pray that God will lead you. God bless
2007-03-01 11:49:54 · answer #4 · answered by to be announced 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is awesome that you've got it together. You've gotta know that the Lord is happy to see His children learning. For instance A good mother or father doesn't yell at there baby who is learning to walk when he/she falls down. Instead they will help him/her up and say try it again.
The church leaders obviously can see your gifting. And you obviously can see your short coming. You two will be married soon so it wouldn't hurt to move out. Don't you think? I lived in our apartment for a month until my husband and I were married.
You really do want to play for God don't you? That's awesome!
You must be in a really good church for them to SEE your Gift and to let you use it. May God Bless you and bring you more peace and strength in your relationship. How does your Fiance feel about it? Just remember we are not to be unevenly yoked.
Drum away my brother! PRAISE THE LORD!
BE BLESSED AND REJOICE IN THE LORD!
2007-03-01 12:16:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then do what is right in the eyes of God and marry this fiance. The church members are correct, they cannot let someone living in sin play music for the church. We all sin, but known, obvious sin must be consulted by the church.
2007-03-01 11:49:02 · answer #6 · answered by Jeancommunicates 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I were in this situation before we got married too. We were forced to lie about our living situation. It bothers me that church leadership does not understand some of us cannot afford to NOT live with our significant other before marriage. But also, you have to look at your church's leadership. I bet they are higher income than you!
I HIGHLY agree with living with your fiance before marriage. Not only because you need to save several thousand for a wedding, but you also need to know how your fiance lives and if you will get along. Probe deeper and you will find a lot of relationship problems in people who never lived together before marriage.
My husband and I had premarital sex. But we knew it was wrong and tried to abstain (not always successfully) but not living together will not solve this problem, either.
I can see that you have a heart for God. And people don't understanddon't have a lot of opportunities as a person who has been in and out of prison - often landlords won't rent to you, jobs aren't offered to you when you have to check that felony box. It's prohibitively expensive for you to move out on your own.
Your church leadership needs to get a grip on reality. Start planning your wedding and avoid all talk about your living situation, and try to advert the questions. Ask them if someone can help you guys with a free wedding. Tell them you don't want to move out. It may not be the wedding of your dreams, but try to strike a balance between what will make you guys, your family, and your church happy.
PS - I have lived with three men and found out horrible things about the first two that I would not have known had I not lived with them everyday (aka - abuse, lying about paying bills, laziness, and BAD work ethic). These are much worse, in my opinion, than premarital sex and living together. Much more destructive to a marriage.
-Angie
2007-03-01 11:57:33 · answer #7 · answered by Angie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The whole purpose of playing in a worship band is to WORSHIP and glorify GOD. If you join b/c you really want to play, then that would be completely the wrong thing to do. Join some other band if you arent willing to do the right thing in order to glorify Him and bless others. As far as the leaders go, they have a right to be concerned, their band members are ones that would be looked up to and possibly even role models to other wanna-be musicians. They should be possitive role models and ones who do what is right in eyes of Him. God bless you, and most of all please pray about what HE wants you to do.
2007-03-01 11:52:20 · answer #8 · answered by somebody 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your past is your past. If you want to change and give your life to God .....He is waiting. You might be asked questions . You need to be sincere in giving your answers, because they will be expecting it from you. If you love your fiance please consider getting married for this is right in God's eyesight. You want be losing anything. You will be gaining a wife. It could be God's way of calling you to his service. I pray that God lead you in the right direction. Be Blessed !! I do think they are judging you , They are trying to help you get on the right track.
2007-03-01 11:51:12 · answer #9 · answered by Sugar 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should also want to keep his commandments on fornication. Seperate from her or better yet, marry her. To be in a position of liturgy within a Church is to be an example and you must not be an example of sin. You should not live with her at all because you are in a near occasion to sin and there would be scandel. That is something else you want to avoid.
2007-03-01 11:50:05 · answer #10 · answered by Midge 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋