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I have been dating a girl now, for over 4 years. I feel like we have just evolved into friends. I love her, but im not sure im IN love with her. Any advice from people who have been there?

2007-03-01 03:16:57 · 20 answers · asked by kyle_grube 1 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

20 answers

Are you sure it is end that you want to end this ? evolving into friends is not a bad thing, it is what should happen. Now is the time for more serious matters like taking it to the next level or probably you need to ask yourself did you do everything to make this relationship work in the 4 years you've been together. Their are so many questions you need to ask yourself before you even decide to end it. Have you even spoken to her to find out what are her views? Hold off a bit on the breakup, and try a little harder you might be surprised . It is not everyday that someone gets the opportunity to spend 4 years with someone they love, and if it really doesn't work, let it not be said that you didn't give it your all.
Good luck.

2007-03-01 03:33:59 · answer #1 · answered by BOBINE 1 · 1 0

1

2016-05-08 03:52:09 · answer #2 · answered by Suzanne 3 · 0 0

Honey. I don't think there are no easy ways but some are better than others. You seem to be a very compassionate guy. So sit her down and just tell her how you feel. My guess is she already knows things aren't the same between you. Females are pretty observant and can pick up when their partner has changed.
Tell her that people come into your life and stay in what ever relationship for 5wks 5yrs etc as long as it's required so you both learn to deal with issues in your life. Hopefully both learn and grow from knowing them. It's very toxic to continue a Relationship that is over. It causes unnecessary pain and illness if it's not terminated. Please let her know that even though you aren't in love with her now, you value her very much as a dear friend. You hope this relationship will last a long time.Just don't start another close Relationship until you finish this one. It gets too messy.
Good Luck to both of you Lynda

2007-03-01 03:30:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

Four years is a long time. You both have feelings for each other. In a way, people can not be madly in love all the time. Talk to your girl friend about how you feel about your relationship. Usually, most girls would like to get engaged with their loved ones after 2-3 years of dating. You might want to hear what she has to say about your relationship.

2007-03-01 03:30:08 · answer #4 · answered by Kimora Miranda 3 · 0 0

I think it is sort of normal, what you feel, many couples go through this at some stage.

The point is to understand for yourself - is it really over for you or do you just need to be alone for couple of weeks to realise that you do still need her and want her?

If you have had a good relationship, try to figure out why are you not in love any more. You know, the romantic period is over in some 6 months, and then your relationship goes onto a different level. (If you watched "Friends", perhaps you remember the same thing happened to Monica and Chandler, but they worked it out). This stage after the being in love is something different, but also more stable and stronger, I think.

Also, did you have any other relationships? What do you want in life - a long-term relationship and die together, or something else?
Because you need to understand something about yourself - can you do with love without being in love, and appreciate what you've got or are always going to be hunting fot more?

2007-03-01 03:28:27 · answer #5 · answered by S from Dublin 3 · 0 0

ending a protracted-term relationship is troublesome on the two human beings in touch. There are years of thoughts invested, which makes it a perplexing relationship to end. even however, sometimes the area demands a sparkling wreck; so it fairly is considerable to comprehend a thank you to end a protracted-term relationship amicably. examine directly to earnings extra. Step1Explain the rationalization why you desire to end your long-term relationship. it fairly is unfair to bypass away him questioning the place he went incorrect. yet shop from taking part in the blame interest. Be civil, not bitter. Step2Listen to what your considerable different has to assert. even however you're ending the relationship, provide her a super gamble to communicate her strategies. you are going to be able to learn some considerable issues approximately your self which could show you how to in destiny relationships. Step3Discuss the opportunity of staying acquaintances. there is obviously a connection between the two one in all you in view which you have been in a protracted-term relationship. it would be a disgrace to enable all those years bypass to waste, so stay acquaintances if achieveable. it fairly is important whilst there are little ones in touch. Step4Stick on your selection to split up. Many couples bypass via a cycle wherein one minute they are jointly and the subsequent minute they don't seem to be. it is risky for each individual in touch; so that's superb to stay aside as quickly as you have desperate to split--except there's a undeniable situation.

2016-10-17 00:36:23 · answer #6 · answered by Erika 4 · 0 0

Communication is necessary in every relationship...get started with it in yours. You may discover that you both are wordlessly bouncing the same feelings off each other. Talk, talk and more talk will give you the honorable means to end or carry on. Turn the tv off if it is keeping you from interacting. You have been together for a long time and the hoe hum has replaced that new love excitement. Have date night or/and go on a sexy week-end get away.

2007-03-01 03:31:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

you need to just let her know things have chaged she would be feeling the same way alot of people fel this way after four years usually less because things change you get comfortable in the relationship,maby before you leave if you want to see if anything is left of you two try new things maby move place start doing the things you two used to do and get your romance back on track if it doesnt work she will have same feelings may feel hurt but after that initial reaction she feels the same way dont waqste any more time with someone who is not your soal mate

2007-03-01 03:26:12 · answer #8 · answered by treatau 6 · 0 0

wow...this will break her heart unless she feels the same way! Chances are she won't feel the same way. Are you sure you want to end it? And are there any other reasons why you want it to be over? A women won't understand your reasoning for falling out of love. She will think there is someone else. I was in a relationship for two years and that happened to me. I had to tell a man I wasn't in love with him anymore. I am friends with all of my exes except him! He was unable to understand. He couldn't handle being my friend after all we shared. So...be ready for a heartbreak. Before ending it maybe you all should slow doen the relatonship or find ways to work it out find out how she feels. But most imoprtantly you have to be honest with yourself as well as her. Good luck with that.

2007-03-01 03:24:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

I've been there and I had to be the one that broke it off. Because they were very intense relationships, I had to cut all strings. No contact. It's better that way. If you try to stay friends, a lot of times the other person will look for any little sign that they can get back with you and will delay getting on with their lives. It hurts like crazy, but I've always believed that if it isn't there anymore, you have to let the person go. You don't want to waste your time or theirs.

2007-03-01 03:23:42 · answer #10 · answered by Jennifer 3 · 1 0

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