we have been together 2 years...we've talked about marraige a few times and kids, etc..... But lately it seems we are just always angry and cant seem to agree or just get along. Hes been upsetting me left and right!! (little things) I live with him and his mom, we are savin for our own place. But is this normal... or are we coming to an end quick? I love him alot...but i think to myself, someone else would do this for me in a second! I do have talks with him...its like he just dont get it or he takes me for granted and wont realize what he has until its gone! What is some wise advice you could give. Have you been through something similar?
2007-03-01 02:20:45 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
We are both stubborn and do not like to give in ...even if i want to...i still have to stand my ground and let him know that i aint playin around...
2007-03-01 03:01:43 · update #1
In fact you should be happy because something many people do not understand is that when you argue it means that you are attached or concerned about one another sometimes you do not argue with bad intentions you just want to express your feelings which sometimes torn out to differ with your partner's.Just know that respect is essential and also try to think about what he is arguing about and weigh that against yours and choose the best between the two.But please keep one thing in mind know the relationship is between you and him so try not to involve a mom because most of the time they mess things up.
My dream is for you to have a prosperous relationship even if i dont know you
2007-03-01 02:48:16 · answer #1 · answered by wawesh 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i had the same problem. exactly the same except i didnt live with him he lived with me. we were together 7 years on and off, but 1 year and a half straight just recently. i loved him a lot too and still do. we always argued and talked about marraige and kids also. we wanted to be together for the rest of our lives. then he started doing dumb things that i got mad about little things too. it is normal but not healthy. it could be you need to take a couple of days away from each other because you are sick of each ohther if you hang out everyday. well sorry to say me and my boyfriend broke up because we just couldnt make it better it was only getting worse. i think it was the best thing because i am more happy and not depressed all the time. take some time apart like two days and see how that works otherwise breaking it off might be the best thing to do even though you love him and its hard it will be better for yourself. i wish you the best of luck and do what you think is best. hang in there
2007-03-01 10:29:12 · answer #2 · answered by i got excitement in my life 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every relationship has disagreements, it's how you handle them. One of the if not the biggest reason relationships fail is because they don't know how to communicate. They know how to argue, they know how to tell the other person that they are mad. But that's not communicating. Communication is one person talking the other person not only hearing, but listening. If you really want to try and make it work, you both need to learn how to give in take in the communication area. There are several Good books by Dr. Henry Cloud. How To Have That Difficult Conversation You've Been Avoiding and the Boundaries series. Go to http://www.newlife.com/ and click on store and Dr. Henry Cloud. Because even if it doesn't work out with him, having those tools gives you the best chance at a life long loving relationship
2007-03-01 10:36:52 · answer #3 · answered by his.grace 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey 2 years i a real long time and i feel that's simply amazing... doubts and uncertainties after this long period of time..Na this just ain't happening.
try and avoid issues that would mess up things and end up with an argument... if there is something bothering him just don't yell or lose your temper and argue...i know its not u always neither its always him..its from both sides..but gals are gifted with more patience and i think we have the magic stick that can make things work out.
in love there is nothing like ego and comparison...i strongly feel either of u should try and keep their cool intact and adjust to certain levels.... and why cant it be u...
every one needs their own space in life so don't be too intrusive..i hope u guys don't split away..may Ur love last for eternity..and yeah if some things that he does...bothers u and u cant tolerate it all then best way is speak it out to him..make it sure u tell him when ur cool...in a very sweet way....
2007-03-01 10:35:43 · answer #4 · answered by rhea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and i have been together for 7 years. Married for almost 2. We have gone through so many ups and downs, it just happens. The best thing for you to learn is to not wait for him to figure it out. I was awful with this for so long. I thought that if i was mad then he should figure out why and make me feel better. He would be mad because he did not know why i was mad and i would not tell him. Guys are very simple creatures and usually mean exactly what they say. They don't go into deep thought about relationships and they are kinda selfish. I felt like my hubby took me for granted for a long time, but i finally realized that he was just clueless as to how to be considerate of me. Two years is a marker where this starts to happen, you know each other so well, spend so much time together, and the puppy love is over now. He has you so he does not have to keep trying to keep you around. You need to just tell him that you feel like he is taking you for granted, that you guys need to go out on dates and he needs to treat you like he did when you first met. There is a reason that you guys have been together for 2 years so you need to take a trip or find a way to remind yourselves of that. He loves you or he would not fight with you. You will come out of this funk if you are both willing to work it out. You do need to get your own place, the fact that you already live together is placing you guys in a situation where it is like you are already married. You need to live alone so it will give you guys time to miss each other and think about what you want. If you are in it for the long haul then you have to expect to fight and make up, but as long as it is worth the fight then you guys will be ok.
2007-03-01 10:40:27 · answer #5 · answered by micah z 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i used to fight with my husband a lot before we got married. as for it being normal i could not tell you. maybe living together was something you did to soon. what you need to do is take a break and not from the relationship from each other. go spend the weekend relaxing with your girlfriends take a vacation with them. do something so that the two of you don't burn out. when me and my husband start to fight a lot more i just take a trip to another town 2 hrs away to see my family. and when i get back things are fine. all the stress is relieved. that and maybe you might want to take a break from talking about kids and marriage. the more you want to talk about it the more it might scare him. trust me i talked a lot about the wedding and all this stuff i wanted and i had no idea that i was pushing him more away. if he loves you as much as you think he does some time will help everything, good luck
2007-03-01 10:31:24 · answer #6 · answered by mrsmonkey829 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's coming to an end. The sooner you both realize this, the sooner it can be over and you can move on with your life.
I was living with a guy and towards the end, we didn't fight but we were both just annoyed all the time with each other. It was mostly because we didn't want to be together any more but hadn't considered that option yet.
In the future - Don't live with someone until you are married.
2007-03-01 10:27:27 · answer #7 · answered by Go Bears! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As you will learn...guys have a weird way of opening up. Especially when it comes to discussing life issues in a relationship. I used to be like him once.....sort of a way to escape having to deal with the issues is knit-pick every lil thing that comes to mind so she would get off my back. Facing a real future is hard for a lot of guys and they still have this phobia of committment for some reason. They tend to shy away more from such issues more than females do. The sexes have always had arguments about how to live for the future. Guys tend to live for the 'now' and have fun. The females look to 'investing' for their future. They work harder in saving up or being more frugal with their finances. You should set him down and face with him of the options if he wish to good future together with you. It's time for him to leave mamma's nest and be out in the real world.
I wish you all the luck in a good future. =)
2007-03-01 10:29:53 · answer #8 · answered by indyhype 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is OK that you argue, as long as it's relevant. If a couple never argues someone is lying, and resentment will build.
However, if the arguments are petty, just bickering, that's a different issue. It sounds like you're both stressed out and getting frustrated.
One way to make sure it's a legitimate argument is to hold hands while you're fighting. It's a challenge, but it works!
Also, don't go to bed w/o saying I love you. Even if you're pissed.
Fights don't mean it's over, just means someones not listening to their heart.
2007-03-01 10:37:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
living with anybody puts stress on a relationship. believe me. the little things that used to upset you get worse and worse. If u are having money issues then that makes arguing more a part of your day. its on how u deal with these issues thats makes your realtionship work or not. Is it worth saving? if it is or you wouldnt be asking this question than u need to figure out teh root of your problems and start there. living on your own is so much more stress free. more bills yeah, but more freedom to be you. naked while cooking, not putting on clothes hwen you wake up in teh middle of the night to pee. none in on your arguments. none else around. everythingis teh way u like it. everything els ewill ease up once u get to the root of the problem.
2007-03-01 10:29:46 · answer #10 · answered by Mrs.Vick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋