How do you control a 2yr old going through the terrible twos???

Answer 1

First, you have to change your view.... You shouldn't "control" anyone and they really aren't that terrible. Once you understand "why" a toddler behaves this way, you will be able to handle the situation and know how to act.

Answer 2

It is NORMAL and HEALTHY for 2 year olds to act this way. Asserting their independance and pushing the envelope is their JOB!!!!

So many adults want a child who is always compliant, never asserts him/herself, goes along no matter what his/her inner feelings are, etc. Can you imagine what kind of adult that would be if s/he had the characteristics of most ppls' idea of a "good child"?

A change of attitude does go a long way towards helping. Once you realize that it's developmentally normal for a child to behave this way, you can take an easier view of the "misbehaviour." When you also change your labels for the behaviour, you can begin to appreciate how your child is exercising qualities that will be useful for him/her in later life (persistance instead of calling it stubborn, entusiastic instead of calling it noisy, etc).

Recognize also that a 2 year old has ADULT sized emotions in a TINY body and very little control over them OR his/her environment. S/he's trying to do so much and so much of what WE do is at odds w/ that...that's just frustrating! It's no wonder toddlers melt down so often.

Try not to engage in power struggles if you can at all help it. If your child has a hard time leaving the park when you're ready to go, give him/her a 5 min warning and be empathetic when you leave if s/he still kicks up a fuss. Let your child choose as often as possible (what to wear even if it doesn't match, what to eat between acceptable alternatives, etc). Save the insistance for the REALLY important situations.

Some good resources: Any book by Dr Sears, How to Talk So Your Kids Will Listen and HOw To Listen SO Your Kids Will Talk, Unconditional Parenting, Natural Family Living (by Mothering Magazine), Raising Your Spirited CHild (highly recommended if you have a child that seems to be very intense on most levels). AskDrSears.com, Mothering.com, Kellymom.com .

Answer 3

Sometimes I think there is no controlling the terrible two. Now is the time to set standards and let him know the rules that he will be expected to follow. A two year is just now truly learning that he or she is her own person and is trying to control the world around them. They think alot differently than adults do. When you child is on the floor kicking and screaming or defiantly telling you no, you need to let them know that the behavior is unacceptable to you. Do not lose your cool. You need to teach them through example the way to handle situations. Squat down to the child's level, make him listen to you and explain that if the action doesn't stop he will be punished in whatever way you see fit be it timeout or spanking. I have found timeouts really do work the best. Give only one warning, then be sure to follow through on what you say you are going to do. A two year old should be in time out for two minutes. Then go over and ask for an apology whether it be a hug or the actual words. Reexplain why they are in time out and they can't do that. Then give lots of hugs and kisses to reassure that you love them. This may take a while to perfect, but I know it works. My son just turned three and I thought I was going to go crazy through his terrible twos. lol.

Answer 4

With great difficulty! lol

Going through it-20 month old daughter. She's very good really, with bedtimes, mealtimes and bath times there are no issues, it's the occasional tantrum when things aren't done fast enough or she doesn't get her own way with her brothers.

I ignore the tantrum completely and carry on doing whatever I was doing. If she becomes too loud I pick her up, put her out of the way and leave her to get on with it. The lack of attention means that it's not working and she stops within minutes-at which point I make a point of including her in whatever is going on as if nothing has happened.

My son, 7, went through it at the same age and very quickly learnt that a tantrum just got him ignored-and he NEVER got what he'd set out to get through one so there was no point. Better just to behave-although he was harder,(mind you he was my first), mealtimes were a fight from time to time and he had to wait until the next one before eating a few times before he sussed it.

They're all different but if you stick to your rules and don't deviate or give in for a bit of peace you'll be fine. If you establish your authority now you'll have so many less problems later.

Stick to your guns and good luck!

Answer 5

do not control the two year old, compose yourself. You two year old is enjoying the world for the first time. Get on your knees and look around, see what there is to get into and make it safe for your toddler to play with. If it's just not safe, make it unappealing, hide it, lock it down/shut.

Ignore negative behavior and reinforce the positive. Te Two are a testing age, they will intentionally do a thing after you say "No" in order to test your limits and their boundaries. Stick to your word. Do not confuse your child by saying one thing and meaning/doing another.

Answer 6

I've always withdrawn myself from my 3 y.o when she starts having a tantrum. I pretend she's not there. I don't look at her, speak to her, or acknowledge her in any way. These days all I need to do is shut the door to whatever room I'm in at the time, if she's in another room. She hates it so much, the withdrawal of my love, so to speak, that she immediately begs me to forgive her and all she wants is a hug and my love again.
Works for me. And she's not had a bad tantrum for a year or more.

Answer 7

PATIENCE Its really hard sometimes. Put up as much as you can from his reach, we had to put screw on plates over our unused electric outlets cause he could take the child proof ones out of the socket so check them and put in child proofing. Just stay consistent and ignor tantrums as much as possible, If he says no to everything consider that he doesnt so much not want to do what you suggest but just wants the option of saying no. Offer two choices now (red shirt or blue shirt) and soon he will settle down.

Answer 8

Always keep him busy. Get him to help out whilst your doing housework so he still gets your attention and doesn't get bored. Encourage good behaviour and make sure you set rules and boundaries for what is bad behaviour. If he does something wrong explain to him why its wrong but try not to raise your voice or get angry as this will only encourage him to shout back.

Answer 9

Grin and bear it, my son is turning 13 this year and he's still suffering from the terrible two's lol.

Don't worry too much about it, it's all partof growing up, but do try to be firm with him/her.

Answer 10

I am going through the same thing right now, like the other people said, stick to your guns, buy earplugs!!! This is the time when they are trying to see how far they can get with you and also they are discovering their independence, I was told to pick and choose my battles.