I have a question about feeding your wedding guests?

Question

I thought about having a Candlelight Ceremony. It would start about 7:30-8:00P.M. at night in the late summer/early fall. My fiance says that guests will still EXPECT a sit down dinner. I say that late at night people will want cocktails and appetizers and deserts. People generally do not like to eat that heavy that late in the night.(9 P.M.ish) What do you think? Have you ever attended any reception like that?
Thanks!

I would have enough platters and choices there to accommodate everyone.
Many, Many, choices.

Answer 1

That late, I'd serve something light, not a four course meal. Whatever you decide to do, you can indicate it on the invitation. For example: "Join us for a light refreshment following the ceremony." Your guests will know not to expect a sit down dinner and they will plan accordingly.

Answer 2

Definitely be aware that if your wedding is late in the day, and people haven't eaten, and if there's alcohol served at the reception you're going to have some very drunk possibly sick folks there.

If you wanted to have an appetizer reception and skip the dinner, I would make adjustments in the schedule of the day. A wedding ceremony in the early afternoon is great and then a breakaway for everyone to change and have a meal before recalling everyone to the reception with finger foods is perfectly acceptable and even more traditional than squishing all of the activities in back to back.

Elderly relatives will appreciate the time to rest and eat...guests with small children will DEFINITELY appreciate the break and other guests will appreciate the option to change...especially if they're in the wedding party and want to change...formal clothing gets hot and uncomfortable in the summer/early autumn even at night. It would also lessen the chance that someone's nice expensive garment getting damaged from the party.

If you absolutely want a candlelight ceremony, there's nothing wrong with having a reception BEFORE the vows. That's the way people did it over 100 years ago....

Nonetheless, if you want the reception after the wedding and want to keep it at that hour, I would arrange to have a buffet instead of paying per person for a plate. That way people can eat what they want and you aren't paying for a plate someone doesn't eat.

Answer 3

Anything after 5-6 pm is considered a formal affair and people will expect dinner. The candlelight ceremony sounds lovely, and you could get away with serving cocktails and appetizers if the appetizers are plentiful and not just cheese and crackers. If you are talking about spanokopita, stuffed mushrooms, meatballs, etc. you should be okay. But be advised, in most cases appetizers are more expensive than a buffet dinner because they are delicate, usually handmade and require a lot of ingredients to get a result of just a dozen. And also keep in mind that if you don't feed your guest dinner, they will tend to eat more appetizers to make up for the lack of "real" food available. Why not try to minimize expenses somewhere else so that you can provide your guest with a real meal. After all, they don't have to come to celebrate this time with you AND they will bring you a gift...what's in it for them? Dinner, drinks and a good time. Good luck.

Answer 4

Depends on what time the actual wedding is and if your guests were also invited to that. If they were and it's an earlier wedding then they'll probably be hungry enough to eat a full meal. If the wedding is later and guests would have had time to eat before they came than something lighter is okay. You could do a buffet of a variety of food then that way the guests can just eat as much or little as they want. I have attended a wedding and reception were they only served appetizer type food and everybody that I talked to didn't not like it and we were all starving since we had been there for quite awhile.

Answer 5

I have never attended any wedding that late, but I think that your idea of cocktails/appetizers/desserts is right. If the ceremony doesn't start until 7:30, people would probably eat just before they left. The exception would be if you had your wedding on a week night. Then people would be just getting out of work and getting ready, no time to eat.

You could always prepare them by mentioning it in the invites/reception card. Just say "Cocktail reception immediately following" That way, they'll know it's not a full meal and they'll be prepared for that.

Answer 6

No in the East where I come from the cocktail hour is from 6:30 to 7:30 and then sit down dinner follows which starts about 8:00 PM. But there is no right or wrong I think. If you feel that you want cocktails, appetizers, and desserts, then do it. Actually, from feedback from friends and relatives through the years, the cocktail hour is always loved the best by guests. The dinner is just an accomodation and I myself never finish anything on my plate and alot of food is wasted. So I think if you make a more elaborate buffet/cocktails/appetizers and desserts which should include a chef who slices London Broil, hot chicken francase; hot pasta dishes, rice pilaf, stuffed potatoes; and maybe Turkey, then have a huge bowl of cold cooked shrimp; cheeses, coldcuts, salads, fresh fruit and fruit bowl of mixed fruit; small baby lamb chops, and then a large dessert table with tea and coffee. Also it should be served at least two hours instead of the normal one hour. Also a wedding cake ceremony of bride and groom cutting the cake toward end of evening. Then dancing and festivities to follow. Good Luck on your wedding plans and I hope my recommendations helped you.

Answer 7

A candlelight ceremony sounds like a fabulous idea!!! It is always good to hear about a bride who wants to do something different like that ...

As for the food, it really depends on how your family works ... if you have a more traditional family, then they won't expect a full meal, by any means ... something sit down at 9-ish is going to be too much. Heavy hors d'oeuvres and dessert with drinks should be fine. Remember that when a caterer calculates food portionings, there is usually 6-8 oz of food per person ... that equates to 8 or so hors d'oeuvres per person. I would recommend more like 10-12, but you can see that a sit down is just too formal so late.

Answer 8

I have attended a ceremony like this, and it was very nice. Just make sure that the champagne & cake reception isn't very long; guests will stay for about an hour, maybe two. Also, on the reception card, write very clearly "Champagne and cake reception to follow...." If you state this, guests will not expect a full dinner.

Answer 9

If you are having your ceremony and reception that late in the evening, most guests will probably eat dinner before they arrive, so light bites and libations will be fine, as long as they are filling for those who didn't get to eat dinner, but...you may want to consider older guests who may be invited? That's about their bedtime...this is why most weddings are held in the early afternoon, so that elderly family members and friends can partake in the festivities and still be able to drive home before dark or before their bedtime...you can still have a candlelight ceremony by turning off the lights and shuttering the windows...and it's rude to expect people to participate and bring you a gift and all that and not feed them properly.....

Answer 10

I have attended a ceremony that was later in the evening. At the reception, there were just lots of appetizers. I think people will have already eaten before hand, and as long as you have plenty to munch on, drinks and snacks should be just fine.