What is the best way to encourage my mom to stop smoking?

Question

I've used an awful lot of scare tactics. This biggest one yet...

My grandmother (her mother died) of Alzheimer's and had really bad cataracts. These have both been linked (somehow, it's just the tactic I use) to smoking.

I've blamed my mother for my asthma and allergies, since I grew up in a smoke filled house. Every time I go to visit my mom, even though she keeps her smoking to her bedroom and bathroom, I still get sick.

My husband and I have recently decided to try to start a family. I don't want to expose my kid to cigarette smoke. I don't want to deny access to the child, but I hate the idea of visiting my folks and exposing the child to the smoke.

My dad's also smoke pipe tobacco. He should be easier to convince to stop than my mom.

PLEASE HELP!!!!

I know there are others concerned like myself.

(Serious answers only. Please no point hogging.)

Answer 1

as a smoker, i can tell you that scare tactics and badgering will not work. in fact, you may only make it worse. i can't really explain why, it just is. i wish i could quit too. i must tell you, it is not as easy as many think. there is a huge emotional factor involved. many people get seriously depressed when quitting do to the chemical addiction. with that said- i suggest you not visit your mom's house if it makes you sick. instead welcome her to your home where smoking is obviously not allowed. once you have children. it will have to be the same. it may hurt her feelings but you have to consider the health risks for youself and your family first. take the time to explain this to her. if she gets angry or deffensive, as many smokers do, don't worry, she'll get over it. you don't have to be mean or disrespectful. just tell her honestly how you feel. my guess is, she'll think a little harder about it. she may quit and she may not. it has to be her decision. it's an addiction like any drug. but at least you'll give her another reason to believe she should quit. if she decides to quit, and i hope she does, be patient and understanding with her. you know she'll have a rough time of it. reinforce your love and concern for her and don't argue about it. that won't work at all. i hoped this helped a little. best of luck

Answer 2

I would try the approach of sincerely being worried for her health. I love you Mom, and I don't want to lose you because of smoking. Get pamphlets, online printables, and there's also a site called "mytimetoquit.com". Also, I've heard of huge success in stopping with acupuncture, as well as homeopathic medicine. Tell her calmly of your concerns about when you have a baby, and how important them spending time with their grandchild is to you. Also remember, this is an addiction for your Mom and you'd better be willing to help her every step of the way. Smoking is a scary thing, but still like any other addiction, an uphill battle to stop. Most importantly she has to want to quit or all will fail! Good luck to your family!

Answer 3

I almost felt like it was me writing this e-mail several years ago, grew up with chain smokers, had a son 4 years ago, I put some tough love on them in the most gentle way possible and told them honestly, I cannot and will not bring my son in a house where there is smoking going on, whether it's you, or a friends house etc...even when I was pregnant, I would call them on my way to their house to make sure they had not smoked in the last hour or so. And even then I would not stay long because sometimes the smoke would linger. I made my visits short and eventually they understood and now both of them are smoke free.

Answer 4

Second hand smoke can have many health affects.If you are thinking of having a family,you have every right to not bring a child to visit anyone, who doesn't think enough of herself to at least give a valiant effort to stop smoking. She's not only killing herself,she is depriving her loved ones of wanting to be around her because of all that smoking does. Let her know you love her, and because you do you would really love for her to stop smoking.There's all kinds of help out there for stopping,even the tobacco companies have sights online with suggestions.When you stop visiting her and it hits her for the reason,she may see a different light.Good luck

Answer 5

One of the hardest things a parent can do is to let their children down. Especially when its something they know they shouldnt be doing. She may or may not react to all the times youve asked her to quit, but I will tell you she is listening. And since she smokes in the bedroom/bathroom, she knows its bad. She will understand that you dont want the sparkling new baby to suffer from second hand smoke. Just tell her to come visit the baby anytime she wants. Of course you want Grandma to know her grandchild.

You will never make your mother quit but the guilt might. Keep after her, she's listening.

Good luck, I hope they both quit.

Answer 6

what about this sit down wid her tell her how much u love her . Talk 2 her about your concern about the whole family and 90% chances she'll quit. Advise her 2 quit that and start chewing gum!! or need be throw all of her ciggarette boxes away and buy her a good chewing gum box
THIS IS VERY SERIOUS . THIS DOES HELP

Answer 7

I really understand your concern. but there is nothing you can do until she wants to quit!! It's a terrible habit, but is also the hardest one to give up....keep trying and maybe she'll take you advice...

Answer 8

U REALLY CANT CONVINCE YA MOM TO STOP, CAUSE AFTER U START YOU ARE ADDICTED..........BUT WHAT YOU CAN DO IS TELL YOUR MOM ALL THE THINGS THAT CAN HAPPEN TO HER IF SHE CONTINUES...........OR TEL HER THAT IT MIGHT BE A BAD INFLUENCE ON YOU..........MAYBE SHE WILL THINK TWICE YA DIGG!!!!!!!!!