My boyfriend and his mother were evicted about three weeks ago from their apartment. I'm 18 and they have been living with me since then. I feel almost intruded and feel like they are making no effort to find a place of their own. I bring it up to my boyfriend and he gets defensive and causes an argument, so I've ceased bringing it up. For the past month I've also began to drift away from the relationship, and with him living with me, it's been even more of a nuscence becuase He's always there and I think that if this is what it will be like in the future, I'm not sure if I want this. Maybe it's a good thing to help decide my future?
What's the best way to approach my situation and decide what to do with my future? (He's my first boyfriend as well, so it's even more difficult for me to decide what I want because I have no comparison... HELP)
2007-03-01 01:26:47 · 11 answers · asked by Akia_Tora 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Tell him that you are not ready to live him and it is destroying your relationship. If he doesn't get the hint, tell him he and his mother have to leave. Give them thirty days notice. If they still don't leave, call a lawyer and have them evicted. Whether he's the first or fifth boyfriend, it is always confusing and difficult. Best of luck.
2007-03-01 01:34:36 · answer #1 · answered by bellbottombleus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if they were not making an effort for a week and no more, I would say they were just taking a break to relieve stress. But a month? That just seems to be laziness. They sound like they are mooching.
Without communication between the 3 of you, you will get nowhere. Lack of communication (your man becoming defensive when you bring it up) is already destroying your attitude. It is your place. You need to set up a deadline for them (or at least the mom) to find a place to live. If they are unwilling and continue causing you stress and discontent with your boyfriend, then kick them out.
Given the fact that he is your first relationship, I wouldn't read too much into it. You're young and have nothing to lose! Not to coin a cliche but there are plenty of fish in the sea!
Above all else, COMMUNICATE!
2007-03-01 01:35:14 · answer #2 · answered by Brian H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are miserable now, then your future with him isn't looking so good. My relationship with my gf was all rosy and great...then we moved in together. Things are still great, but there's a lot of work involved. We love each other enough to work things through. But we've been up against a wall a few times, some times I think it's bound to fail. But then we manage to work it out. Communication is HUGE! You have to be able to talk about everything and work things out through communication. 18 is pretty young to be settling down with anyone, let alone your first bf. Just keep in mind that things are not likely to change drastically. Even with a lot of compromise on both your parts
2007-03-01 01:35:39 · answer #3 · answered by gizmo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are you? Are you 18 as well? Girl, you need to tell them both that you are more than supportive for them but they need to move the frack out. Know what I mean? There is no way I would EVER let my man's momma move in with us and she is making no effort to find a job or move out. They have acted totally intrusive toward you and not to mention, invasive! Tell your parents or move in with your mom and dad and tell them to get the frack out!
2007-03-01 01:50:27 · answer #4 · answered by Mimi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HA HA i know this one so so well, my ex fiancee that i broke up with 4 months ago sounds just like this he was a complete mammas boy and never listened to a word i said she always came over me even if i was right and quite frankly babe if he aint willing to fight for you or even listen to you you have to question does he really love you and are you always gonna be second best? if you aare never gonna win against his mum now then you never will trust me on this one.
2007-03-01 01:32:31 · answer #5 · answered by Chel1525 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does the word "Doormat" sound familar?? That is exactly what you are, sweetie! Simply tell them that they need to be out in 3 days.....period. This is not your problem so stop making it your problem. This guy is no bargain. You need to get a book and read up on personal boundaries and not being co-dependent. If you continue with this arrangement.......stop whining....you are getting what you are asking for. What is the matter with you???? DUH!!!
2007-03-01 01:32:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh honey first boyfriend......Yikes, living with you....Ok take a step back...If you don't like what's going on now, your not going to like it in the future.....If it was me I would end it before you get to in over your head....GOOD LUCK!
2007-03-01 01:30:27 · answer #7 · answered by HelpMe123 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your man is not by your side now, he won't later! He should support your in your troubles, worries and stay by your side to listen and help. He is not and so he should leave!
2007-03-01 01:30:32 · answer #8 · answered by DrPepper 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave the matter
i am your new companion if you are interested
come on contact me
ravi
2007-03-01 01:31:24 · answer #9 · answered by ravi k 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he doesn't like you
2007-03-01 01:31:05 · answer #10 · answered by Daft Punker 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋