Having been seeing a guy for 4 months now and everything was going ok, and I think the world of him and then he suddenly changed and said he felt as if the relationship was smothering him, and that hes now too busy to see me as he has stuff to get on with outside of work, house etc. He has told me that he loves me and everything was fine. Hes had a few bad experiences with women before, and accuses me of cheating on him practically everyday, but there has been no one since I met him. he would be happy to see me once every fortnight but I want more, help and advise on what I should do .......please !
2007-03-01 01:16:29 · 20 answers · asked by Broken hearted 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sounds like he has a lot of issues which he has to deal with & resolve before he can finally settle down to a stable relationship. He's extremely insecure. Accusing you is just shifting the blame and focus. He needs counselling for any relationship he's into is guaranteed to fail until he resolves whatever issues he has. Heartbreak lies ahead for you too until he deals with his issues. You are not one of his past women, you are you and accusing you like them is just not right.
I suggest some down time for both of you while he seeks counselling. Do not push him. If it's meant to be, he'll see the light, apologise and come back to you. Otherwise, there is no sense hoping for the impossible. There is only so much you can do.
2007-03-01 01:24:05 · answer #1 · answered by Bugsy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll give you advise, and an opinion...
My advise... Tell him you love him, yet give him enough space, if it's meant to be his feeling would also get stronger to the point of wanting to see you more often. Another idea is to make him just a tad jealous, don't be unfaithful, and let him know you're not, just get another male friend, and invite him over once in a while when you're boyfriend is also there... This will drive him crazy!
My opinion...
I know you love him, but think about this, if you're considering a long term relationship, or marrage with this guy... you'll be letting yourself in for big heartache! He's not going to change you know...
2007-03-01 09:25:17 · answer #2 · answered by japiecrox 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him his space. I know you like the guy but the relationship is still extremely early and he's asking for space. I know that everytime I asked for space, I was nicely trying to break up with the guy. Simple as that. You can only do so much. Trying to accomodate someone who's not accomodating you is putting an undeserving person ahead of your own needs. I am not saying leave him alone but let him realize what he's missing.
2007-03-01 09:21:17 · answer #3 · answered by Sunshine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's accusing you for no reason and acting unstable, why do you WANT to hang on. The point of a relationship is to find someone to be with. When it turns out the person isn't right , either for you or in the head, it's time to move on to the next one.
2007-03-01 09:21:19 · answer #4 · answered by BP 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is scared of getting hurt to me, what I would do is give the person space but let them know you are there when they want you ! But you need to keep going out with your friends and living your life to the full and not wait around for him to say he wants to see you all the time, and if its meant to be it will happen! Just takes time and is hard to do if you love some one
2007-03-01 09:24:40 · answer #5 · answered by fulhamish 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow this is a sucky situation and first i am going to start off by saying i'm sorry for you.....But anyways if he says he feels like it is smothering him give him space...It's better to give him space now than lose him because he feels that way....and if it comes down to it just let him go...and if he comes back then you are meant to be together....Love is a confusing rollercoaster and sometimes you have to do things that you really don't want to do but if you really do love him like you say you do your going to do what's best for him.......but good luck!
2007-03-01 09:20:42 · answer #6 · answered by HelpMe123 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
4 months isnt a long time,leave him alone,if he's feeling smothered and you keep calling him he'll feel even more smothered...whats up with seein you once every fortnight,i'd say no night,dont let him dangle you around to his time line,its time for you to go on and make yourself happy...in time you will be happy without him and his once every fortnight stuff.good luck and be strong for yourself..
2007-03-01 09:25:15 · answer #7 · answered by wondering 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He schmoozing you and leading you on for watever reason but he is not in love with you. Dump this jerk and move on. Take a look at how you are in a relationship and make a decision to chage how you relate to men. Perhaps you are too smothering a needy! At any rate.....it ain't workin', toots!
2007-03-01 09:21:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my advice would be to back off.. if a guy says he's smothered, it's a clear sign that you are getting too clingy.. if you want to keep this guy, you need to give him his space.. show him that you are a cool person apart from him.. go out with your friends.. make him wonder what you're up to.. show him he's lucky to be with you.. DO NOT cry or beg him not to leave you or you will just reinforce his idea that he's too good for you! good luck!
2007-03-01 09:19:56 · answer #9 · answered by Byakuya 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a smooth way of letting you go.Doesn't want 2 see you but says IL--- u.What a piece of work. Well better know than if you mar--- Him. Just my thought be single there less drama . Take care
2007-03-01 09:23:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋