Baby Girl Wont Sleep In Her Bed?

Question

My daughter is 19 months old and a great kid all around but she wont sleep in her own bed. We let her go to sleep in the bed with us then move her but she'll wake up immediatley or not long after. When she does she cry's so hard she gets choked and vomits sometimes. We've tried just letting her cry herself to sleep but that rarely works and if it does its only for a little while. We're running out of patience and sick of getting no sleep. It was all sweet at first but now its taking a toll on our jobs, love life and marraige. Any Advice? Please help!!

Answer 1

Wow.

You need to get a bedtime routine organised and fast!!

Our daughter(20months) goes to bed at approx 6.30-7.30pm regardless of whether she feels like it or not. We get her p.j'd and a warm bottle of milk and then it's up to bed with teddy.

We always use warm milk at bedtime because it's filling, good for them and the heat raises their body temperature slightly and helps promote sleepiness.

Your daughter needs to be in bed at about the same time (regardless of whether she seems tired or not-she needs a routine, not to mention the sleep).

She will probably raise merry hell to start with and be out of bed shouting for you. Go back to the bedroom, put her back to bed gently and quietly-if you have to say anything just say 'shhh' and once she's tucked back in leave the room. Don't make conversation or eye contact (sounds cruel but trust me).

Repeat as many times as is necessary-it'll be hard the first night or two but it works VERY quickly, especially if you are calm, considered and firm. DO NOT respond to tantrum throwing-keep calmly tucking her back in, no spanking or talking, just do it repeatedly.

If she wakes during the night have a spare bottle prepared and just put her back to bed in the same calm but firm manner. You will have a rough few nights to start with but once your routine is established bedtime is no problem at all, you just have to get through the initial tantrums.

My son, now 7yrs, and my daughter have both been 'bedtimed' in this manner and I can genuinely say that we have had no real problems at bedtime since they were 12 months or so, although we have had to return her to bed once or twice just after being put up when we've had guests(excitement).

I know that all this probably sounds draconian but it's not-my youngest, 8 months, now goes through the night 9/10 times in his own room and if he wakes up he gets a similar treatment-check nappy, feed and return to bed regardless of whether he's awake or not.

Somethimes you have to be 'cruel to be kind' and you and your partner need to have some sort of personal life in an evening-both in and out of bed.

Frustrated, over-tired, grumpy parents are definately not good for her well being-any more than it's good for your relationship.

Best of luck.

Answer 2

My daughter slept with me until about this time. Start off by getting her a toddler bed or put a mattress next to your bed. When she starts to get real close to sleeping move her there, but then stay with her for a minute or two (rub her back, etc.) and then get in your own bed. When she wakes up crying just reach over/down and comfort her. After this seems to be working out move the bed slowly away from your bed and into her own room. You're probably going to want to stay with her for a few minutes every night. You also might want to incorporate a small stuffed animal for her to hold. Dr. Sears writes a good book about this - can't remember the name though, sorry.
Just remember before you know it she'll be telling you to drop her off down the street from her friends house 'cause she doesn't want them to see you.

Answer 3

I recommend to read: The no cry sleep solution from Elizabeth Pantley. It helped me a lot to understand the sleep of babies and toddlers! Let her cry is an option, hard, but it does work. With 19 month the baby is old enough to sleep through the night. They do learn it, either the harder way (crying) or the softer (book). It is important for her to fall asleep in her own bed or crib. If she falls asleep somewhere else and then wakes up, she does not know, where she is and can not fall back to sleep. Waking up is normal, she just has to learn how to fall back to sleep on her own. Problem is, in your bed, she smells you and thinks the only way to fall back to sleep is nursing her or carriyung her around. She will learn it soon. Good luck and read the book!!!

Answer 4

First of all, when you have a child (and remember it was you who did what brought this child into this world) the child and her/his needs come first. At 19 months she is still a baby. How would you like to be tossed on a cold bed just when you were getting warm and comfy. Don't be cruel. As for letting her 'cry it out', that's inhumane. It also teaches the kid at an early age that the world is a cold, cruel place and that no one can be trusted, least of all the parents.
Babies are not wind up toys. They also do not ask to be born. So stop complaining and start accepting.

Answer 5

I'm telling you right now as a mother of a 3 yr old, you just made the biggest mistake of your life. NEVER EVER let your child sleep in bed with you for any amount of time or you'll never get them out of it, or at least have the worst time in the world trying to fix the problem. The only way that you'll be able to fix it is to let the child cry when you put them to bed. Now, I know that no parent wants to listen to their child cry, but that's the only way your going to get her to sleep in her own bed and know that that's her spot to sleep from now on.

Answer 6

I know it sounds like going backwards but you should really consider putting her in a crib - she's awfully young for a bed. Get a crib, and if necessary, get a crib tent to put over it ( so she can't crawl out) and then let her cry it out. My son went through this and cried so hard he vomited every night for about 2 weeks and it was AWFUL, I cried alot, but it worked, he finally started sleeping on his own. Its very stressful to do this but its worth the reward of sleep in the end! Also, create a calming and soothing bedtime ritual that you follow every night, and above all, be consistent.

Answer 7

was she sleeping in a crib before this or is this what shes been sleeping in? maybe shes not ready for her bed yet, but if she is still in a crib maybe give her one of those musical lights that tell stories and hook onto the crib, everytime my 10 month wakes up he cries but then turns it on and falls asleep. it has a BIG button that they can easily turn on and off with no problems. i would try that first,

Answer 8

we went through this with all four of our children having them in bed with us was easier when I was nursing, but after they were weaned it became troublesome... I would suggest a couple of things start a bedtime routine that places her in her bed not yours, EX. bath, drink,story, hugs and kisses, even if you have to lay with her in her bed until she falls asleep.. or you can just put her bed (if it's a toddler bed) in your room and slowly move it out each night getting it closer to her room until it is finally in her room... make a big deal about getting her in her bed, reward her good behavior this is key... And remember she has been in your bed for 19months. so she isn't just going to change over night it is going to take some time and work but in the end you will have your room back... to be honest with you my husband and I had to buy a smaller bed to convince out 21/2yr. old there wasn't enough room for him in our bed anymore... it's not an easy habit to break and at times it seems easier to just let them stay in the bed.. but I am happy to announce that all four of our children are in their own rooms so it can be done... good luck

Answer 9

I'd try reading to her in her crib and use a nightlight. One of my boys would not sleep in his bed till he got a nightlight. Some kids are just afraid of the dark. You have to resolve this or she will expect to sleep with you. Don't let her get a lot of sleep in the daytime, and get her plenty of fresh air in the daytime. She'll be more apt to sleep anywhere at night.

Answer 10

my daughter is 7 and has not slept in her own bed yet. Just buy a king size bed LOL! enjoy her they grow up too fast and I figure pretty soon she will not even want me around.