im a size 10 and rather attractive yet my boyfriend always says iv put on weight and he doesnt see me as hot anymore cos weve been together over a year. when i go out wearing a skirt or a low top he says i look like a slag and easy when i think i look really nice! im fed up of been put down when i know other guys find me attractive, how can i make him stop puuting me down like this?
2007-03-01 00:51:14 · 58 answers · asked by kate 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He wants to dump you.
If you are really attractive, find a bf who wants you. Should not be too hard.
2007-03-01 00:55:56 · answer #1 · answered by Chief BaggageSmasher 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Sorry kate, but you're getting some good and bad... well lots of bad.
A ten is not a bad size... from my understanding. I actually had to look that one up as my girlfriend is not yet online and I had to think about the measurements there.
Have you actually gained weight, noticably, or let yourself go over the past year? I'm not condoning his position (more on that below) just pointing out that he may have seen a change and is being... well that's for the next section.
Now comes the not so fun part: you may be seeing the indicators that you're in what may evolve into an abusive relationship.
If he is continually breaking you down, telling you that you're less of a person or less attractive, and in general trying to make you think that no one else would look twice at you he's trying to establish control over you.
Without more information I really can't tell you, or advise on, if you're truly in a situation that may turn bad fast. I can tell you that I've had plenty of experience in the area and this is one of the things women have told me they noticed to late.
I've trained in the martial arts for 16 years, and have taught various seminars for womens groups, kids organizations, and victims advocacy groups. I've heard of situations that went bad because small signs weren't noticed.
I'd suggest telling him to cut it out or get use to being single because you're a bigger person that he wants you to think you are and will leave him. If he doesn't truly try to change leave, no matter how bad it feels at the time. If we won't stop hurting you now chances are pretty good he's set in his ways and you don't need to be there.
If you need help beyond that visit a counselor, find a womens center in your area and tell the counselors there what you're seeing and ask them what they think; these people would much rather catch something early, or tell you that you're over reacting, than help you piece your life back together afterward.
2007-03-01 01:13:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
OMG why are you even thinking about putting up with it! Tell him simply this is me you love me for me or its the highway! your not fat no way your a size 10 which is a nice average weight these days, what does he expect you to be a skinny size zero. ok on the other point as well you havnt mentioned if you have told him that his comments are hurting you that might be a first point of action if you havnt.
At the end of the day babe no one should make you feel minor especially not the person that is suppose to love you. If you find talking to him doesnt work and he still wont change his ways chuck him and go for all them other men that find you attractive you sound like your young anyway so dont get stuck down by this loser go out fishing and remember fishing is fun!!!
2007-03-01 01:00:08 · answer #3 · answered by Chel1525 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hooray. At last. A girl who is not afraid to go out wearing a skirt instead of trousers. As a 60 year old male and happily married for 29 years, I can still appreciate a good figure without thinking that the girl is anything other than just that. As for the low tops, great. As long as it is decent i see no reason to stop. So you've put on weight. So what. we all put on un-needed weight but don't let it get you down. if your fella is not happy, find someone who will appreciate you for who you are. Best wishes.
2007-03-01 01:08:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm sure he doesn't mean it. You are not fat, size 10 is perfect. I wish i was a 10. You say you are attractive, which means you are pretty confident about yourself. Maybe your bf just doesn't have as much confidence in himself, and so putting you down a bit is his way of trying to keep you, silly i know but male logic sometimes. He thinks if he doesn't compliment you then you will feel bad about yourself and then you are less likely to go off with annother bloke. he doesn't want you to look sexy in public cos he is scared other blokes will fancy you and you will leave him. Try complimenting him, tell him you think he is really sexy and you want to have some fun with him. Spice the love life up a bit, wear something sexy in bed for him, and tell him he is the only one you want and that he is hurting your feelings by saying you are fat etc. Tell him outright that you are not fat, and he could do a lot worse. Good luck.
2007-03-01 01:55:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get rid of him cause he sounds very jealous. If you know you look good without looking like a slag take no notice. They just dont like other men taking notice. You work it girl and if he doesnt find you hot there are plenty who will. He should be helping you if you have put weight on not pulling you down.
2007-03-04 11:36:56 · answer #6 · answered by janeybest 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
R U MAD!, dont put up with behaviour, like that, i bet you were dressed in a skirt or a low top when you 1st met him, tell him this is you, and if he isnt happy, he knows where the door is, dont give in2 him, he will have you dressing like an 80 year old be4 long if you dont nip this in the bud right now!.. he knows your pretty and slim and he knows other boys look at you, thats why he doesnt want you making an effort. tell him you dress like that 2 make YOU feel better. if he doesnt like it, i would show him the door sorry, but good luck ..
2007-03-05 00:15:48 · answer #7 · answered by fay y 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way to stop him from putting you down is for you to put him down permanently and wash your hands and just move on ,,,, There are allot of fish in the pond so to speak and I think it's past time for you to go fishing ,,,, You don't need nor do you deserve this kind of crap from him or anyone else ,,,, You'd be better of with terminal cancer ,,,,
You said that you know other guys find you attractive so follow up on it ,,,, You need to see who and what is out there ,,,, Find someone that will treat you the way you think you should be treated ,,,, Drop this guy like a hot rock ,,,, Let him go find someone else to insult and degrade ,,,, You are better than him and you don't need this at all ,,,, Getting away from him isn't the end of the world and just might be a good start in finding some one else that's fun and exciting to be with ,,,, Usually these other people come trouble and problem free too ,,,, If he loved you the way he should he'd be bending over backwards trying to prove it to you and proud that you are his girlfriend and not putting you down all the time ,,,, Just who the hell does he think he is anyway? ,,,, Get rid of him and stick to your gun and don't let him talk you out of it no matter what he says or does ,,,, Guys are good actors too you know ,,,, Up to and including tears ,,,, Don't let him fool you ,,,, Turn the page in your life and start a new chapter with some one that compliments you and would do anything he could to make you feel good and happy ,,,, Sounds like it's past time for you to find this other person ,,,, There are plenty of them out there ,,,, all you have to do is look ,,,, Being tied down to this jerk just might cause you to miss meeting Mr Right ,,,, Good luck and like I said stick to your guns ,,,, Find that person you can be happy with ,,,, Yoda told you this ,,,,,
2007-03-01 03:23:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some guys i think dont like there GFs wearing low cut tops or skimpy skirts, cause they are afraid that other guys are checking you out, so he might be insecure with your relationship and be afriad that some other guy is gonna notice you and try to steal you away. so in putting you down hes trying to lower your self esteem so you think your to fat to be attractive to any other guy. next time the situation arises, tell him to not be so shallow. Or say if you want a skinny chick theres the door. or say "oh' im fat, well ... {( insert his best friends name )} ...has a bigger weiner." lol. at any rate i think you both should sit down and discuss your feelings with each other, cause the biggest part of a strong relationship is good comunication.
2007-03-01 01:08:20 · answer #9 · answered by Cale A 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is probably afraid of losing you. So by trying to undermine you, he prevents his own shortcomings from being shown up. If I was out with my Wife and someone I knew was saying that sort of stuff to his girlfriend, I would be disappointed in him. Has he thought you like dressing up because you enjoy being with him and want to enjoy the time out. He thinks that you will dump him, as you are looking so hot. Ask him if he really believes what he is saying. If he says yes, cut off his nadgers with some pinking shears and dump him.
2007-03-01 07:23:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ditch the loser! he isnt worth staying with, if he says horrible things about you - he doesnt love you. As an outsider it looks like abuse to me- mental.
You need to find someone that loves you and everything about you, this man obviously doesnt. Mr right is out there for you!
2007-03-04 10:27:18 · answer #11 · answered by Little Minx 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋