A suttle breeze, a calming wind
That’s where her story did begin
There was a time, she longed for glory
Each day in life, a brand new story
She played the hand that she was given
She loved it all, this game called liven
She never thought that she was better
But she was perfect to the letter
She was never wanting, for a friend
But now her heart, she will not lend
She loved a guy, she thought was true
He was handsome, eyes of blue
They would stroll and they would walk
He had her heart, he talked the talk
Her heart was pure, her body warming
She could have men, they all were swarming
Then all she wanted, was this man
But in time, she knew his plan
And in the end, she did get strong
She found his ring, rat move along
2007-03-01 00:16:15 · 13 answers · asked by edgar b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You should show it to your wife and get her opinion...
2007-03-01 00:41:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dislike it, and i (thank you) am a published poet, i can find value in most outsider poems, but that was cliched and sounds like 15 year old love lorn boy wrote it.
Ish.
I give it a generous 4.
2007-03-01 08:24:15 · answer #2 · answered by mettophobic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say in stanza 3 that "she will not lend" her heart, but the next line says "she loved a guy". Confusing.
I'll give you a 6.
2007-03-01 08:23:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
rating poems...... you can never tell the intention of the poet..i cannot rate this for you.
But i think that She was deceived. Because of the "game she was playing....and she loved it," she was well aware of what she was doing..until he came..and then "she loved a guy"...love is uncontrollable..you cannot predict when and with whom you will love..her heart loved but her mind stood strong..which actually deceived her heart, telling her about this man.--only ONE interpretation of many.
2007-03-01 09:19:58 · answer #4 · answered by Midnight Rain 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
uh, didnt have enough substance to move me, also got a bit confused.
and you also spell subtle (like gentle or soft or discreet) like s-u-b-t-l-e, not suttle.
so, 4.
2007-03-01 08:39:04 · answer #5 · answered by rinkumi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i will give you 5 too much loving
and another 5 if the girl start crying
2007-03-01 08:27:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
6 its a cheesy but over all good
2007-03-01 08:24:04 · answer #7 · answered by Annemarie E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so sweet of him to write a poem like tis to impress a gal...there's no rating for tis..cos u can nvr rate or measure love...it's unmeasurable..and invaluable!
2007-03-01 08:30:21 · answer #8 · answered by Remus L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
4. I started laughing. Sorry.
2007-03-01 08:32:30 · answer #9 · answered by Aphrodite 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
6.5 the end was a bit slly
2007-03-01 08:21:04 · answer #10 · answered by rachie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋