Pls. help me cope with parent trouble.?

Question

I am fed up with my parents, being old fashioned people they always restrict me from doing whatever I like. They don't allow me to watch T.V. or listen to radio or to wear anything of my choice. I don't know what is their problem with me, even though I am very good at studies, they always keep on criticizing me. Pls help.

Answer 1

i use to feel like you

but i realized something

there are kids out there that their parents DON'T GIVE A CRAP about them
and that is worse

i didn't like it at all but it made me a better person in the long run
i have high self esteem i could care less what others think of me
and i have values that most ppl my age have lost somewhere

remember they love you enough TO CARE
you will be old enough sooner or later to make your own choices and live the way you want to

Answer 2

wow! that's a tough one! they probably worry that you will get in over your head with society... you say they are old fashioned. Nothing wrong with that. Maybe be a little more patient with them. They probably see the world as a scary place and don't want you to get hurt... but it seems they are going a little off the deep end. Music is very important to children. Have you asked them why they are not allowing these things?

I can bet that they love you very much and they are trying to keep you safe. Maybe if you explain to them that they are sheltering you to the point that you will not be able to make your own choices when you are older, they will let up a bit?

If they don't allow you to be exposed to the bad in the world, they are doing you a disservice. You will not know how to cope with real problems when you are older and on your own. Ask them how you are supposed to survive out there when you move out and start your life without them. I'm really sorry that you are going through this.

Good luck!

Answer 3

You don't say how old you are, but it sounds like you are a teen. These are some of the best and hardest years of life. I think most adults would tell you they had fun then, but wouldn't go back, if given the chioce.

I have friends (they're parents) who don't have regular TV (they use videos and rentals to control what comes into the house) mostly because of the sexual /violent content slammed all over shows and commercials. It's the "garbage in - garbage out" principle that means if you bring junk into your home, you get junk in return. It's the same with top 40 music today. Try to see it from whatever perspective they have. While they can, they are probably trying to guide your choices to a clean lifestyle. Whether it's from religious beliefs or simply wanting you to be a star student, try to see their side to help you cope.

As you grow closer to your independence, you should be allowed some compromises in chosing things for yourself. But expect that if your choices violate their core beliefs, they will shut you down.

Wearing whatever you want may be an unrealistic expectation until you are an adult. I shop with my 11 (12 this month) year old daughter, who wears junior sizes now, and there is a lot of sleezy stuff out there for girls. I try not to force her to wear things, but compromise on a look that she likes and feels good about herself in. I wont allow it to be too short, low cut, clingy, or revealing. That makes buying clothes hard these days but it's out there, you just have to weed through a lot of trashy clothes. This issue may need some form of demonstration on your part that you can make wise choices in a world full of revealing clothing. When you shop, find something cute, but not designed for bar night, and show mom you like it. Find pics in magazines. Show her you can make wise choices.

The most concerning thing you said is that you feel critisized by your parents even though you are a good student. I would recommend you talk to them openly about this. Everyone needs praise, but most especially from our parents. Ask to talk to them about your feelings in a calm, non-winey way (not when you're mad). This is a very mature way of dealing with your feelings and frustrations, and if they can see you in a more mature light consistently, they may be willing to give you a few freedoms here and there.

Good luck! Hang in there with your old fashioned folks. They got that way because they've been around the block and they don't want you to get hurt. THEY LOVE YA!

Answer 4

whatever your parents is teaching you right now, its gonna be for your own good in the future, they love you. they dont want your life to e ruined or wasted like some other teenagers out there, I understand your situation I think you should talk to your parents what show your allowed to watch coz most of the shows in t.v today is really not good for youngsters like you that goes through too with the radio. in terms of wearing anything that you wanted, they just want you to be decent to be different from any other kids who almost wears nothing, They are just trying to lead you in the right way, they dont want your life to be ruined, they dont want you to make same mistakes they did in the past or make mistakes like th other teenagers did. Whatever their doing right now is for your own good and soon when you become a parent you wil do the samething for your kids coz what their doing right now is whats best for you. they are doing that because they love you, you think their critisizing you, no, their not, they are just paying attention to everything you do, You're even lucky coz now a days you cant find a parent like that monitoring their kids' whereabouts that's why a lot of teenagers right now is wasted.

Answer 5

Parents are parents, they're here to protect us!!! They've been there and done that, so they wouldnt want you making the same mistakes. But, we too need a little bit of freedom don't you think??. Do you act independent and are you responsible??? Your parents need to fully trust you before they let you do the things you want to do. Remember when you leave home, you wont have the reins of your parent's, so you are more vulnerable to making mistakes. Then again, not allowing you to watch tv is hush, maybe you should compromise, ask them to allow you to watch only on weekends, after your homework of course! Parents are'nt supposed to be criticizing, ask them to stop. Talk to them, tell them you're hurt, tell them all the criticizing is catching up on you and that a little bit of praise will help you.

Answer 6

hi,I'm a parent of 5 sons.and believe me,its a hard job.being a parent doesn't come with a hand book,we all get it wrong Hun,with what is available to young kids these days its scary for us oldies,all we want is to get you to an adult unscathed and to have a good awareness of who you are.then its up to you to make your own path and own your mistakes.you have a whole lifetI'me to grow,your mom and dads doing their best,thank god you have them to protect you.im glad i read your question,it could have been please help,my parents are drunks and abuse me!

Answer 7

My best advise:
Stay in school and get excellent grades so you can go to a good school AWAY from home!!