i am a divorced independent lady who enjoys the company of men. I go out on dates,walking, dancing, the theatre.
i occasionally sleep with one of my men friends and he seems pretty cool about it. we never talk about feelings or commitment.he treats me with respect although sometimes he doesnt contact me for 2 -3 weeks do you think i am on dangerous emotional ground? should i stop having sex with him?
I get on really well with another male friend. he lives very close to me and is able to watch my comings and goings. We have a lot of fun and laughs and i know he really adores me,he is 15 years younger than me and rather shy with strong principles but i dont think i fancy him i dont want to hurt his feelings and i dont want him to know about my sexual encounters.
any suggestions about how to handle this?
2007-02-28 23:28:33 · 31 answers · asked by sweet cherie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If your happy with the situation then it is no one elses business, your single, he's single but you have to be careful (you don't know how many other women he's sleeping with)/.
2007-02-28 23:34:08 · answer #1 · answered by luz2loz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As for the first part of your question:
I think casual sex with a friend is great - actually the greatest sex casual one can have is with "just a good friend" - as long as both accept it is not more than that, just feel-good sex. This seems to be the case with you and I can't see any reason why you should not have casual sex if you are both consenting, independent adults.
I have a good friend and we have fantastic casual sex when we meet, even if it is every couple of months. I think it is so great because you can purely enjoy it without thinking and worrying.
s for the second part of your question, if you don't fancy the man, just tell him politely. You will not hurt his feelings, or at least hurt him much less than if you leave him in doubt, he is developing high hopes and will be given a cold shower later on.
2007-03-04 22:42:57 · answer #2 · answered by Eugene 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, it's your life. It sounds like the friend you have sex with understands the score and that you are both having safe, adult fun. Good for you.
As for the other guy well why should he know about your private life? You are not responsible for his feelings you have been more or less open with him sharing friendship but offerering nothing further. You are doing nothing wrong. If the matter comes up then you should be honest with him - whether about not fancying him or about how your other friend does sometimes stay over. If he can't handle either of those then that is his problem not yours. In the meantime - good for you in owning your life and sexuality and enjoying both!
2007-02-28 23:39:52 · answer #3 · answered by Leapling 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a) 1st things 1st - you seem to know pretty well what you want and what you feel, so as long as you are in that state I say its ok as long as you feel happy with it - sex is a great thing in life and you don't necessarly have to be married to have it.
b) as for the other friend - I think you should leave things pretty clear - as for the way to do that I don't know because I don't know you people nor your relationship. I'd suggest that, deppending on how well you get along, you start giving little hints that you like his friendship but that is as far as it goes, above all, if you think that he has a crush on you, don't give him hope.
Honesty with yourself is the most important thing. After that, comes honesty with your friends. And as for what you do with your personal life (and sex) thats is for you to be happy with not for others to control.
Warning though, to much honesty, or saying things straight foward can sometimes hurt peoples feelings.
My 2 cents.... Give it time and give him hints. If needed be, get some distance.
~Best of luck.
2007-03-01 02:03:42 · answer #4 · answered by night 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of the user and just carry on having a laugh with your other friend. You are doing something right cause you seem to have plenty of male company, so dont let that one just use for sex, have an Anne Summers party, treat yourself and tell him to do one.
2007-03-04 11:28:33 · answer #5 · answered by janeybest 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
having just casual sex with a mate can really ruin your friendship when it goes belly up. and as far as the man you say that adores you unless you have feelings for him i don't thinkits very fair of you to just have casual sex with him as he might fall for you completely and you would just hurt him so if you value your frienship and care for this man then stay friends only. and sleeping with all your friens you will get a name for yourself if they haven't started talking already sounds like the guy isn't a friend when he doesn't contact you for weeks after sex hes just getting what he wants. there is plenty of men out there that are interested in casual sex if you really must go out and stop sleeping with "friends"
2007-02-28 23:39:31 · answer #6 · answered by curiouskel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may sound rather harsh to you, but what you are saying here sounds a bit selfish to me.
How can you possibly say:
"i know he really adores me,... but i dont think i fancy him i dont want to hurt his feelings and i dont want him to know about my sexual encounters."
That poor young man may fancy you, yet you don't want to make him happy? Who knows that young man doesn't want to sleep with you? Yet, you even don't want him to know about your sexual encounters? It's like you're cheating on him.
If that is what you really feel, then stop be with that young man and stick to the man you sleep with.
If you play on the young man's feelings, you may end up with rather severe consequence. As for the casual sex with your ongoing partner, it looks perfectly OK, since you are all grown-up adults.
Just don't let the young man down.
2007-03-01 16:20:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing i know for sure is the munite you find out that your sex bodies can no longer sleep with you cause thay have suddenly developed relationships you will be hurt for sure. I think this is a cry for help. You can not sleep with someone just for the hell of it, you sleep with them cause you either fancy them or some kind of emotion envolved.
2007-02-28 23:37:31 · answer #8 · answered by Patricia N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your walking on thin ice with this one dear! Your playing with your emotions and I hope you don't 'fall in love' at some point with this man unless of course he is available!
I always think these situations always end up in tears but you are a big girl who is free to make her own choices and if your ok with things right now then you must do as you see right.
Good Luck!
2007-02-28 23:36:25 · answer #9 · answered by The Weird One! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think having casual sex is fine lol if its what you want to do then why stop, the guy respects you and you are both wanting the same thing so yeah its all good. if the younger boy likes you adn you don't like him then thats fair enough you don't fall for evey guy that likes you but make sure he knows that you don't like him incase he thinks you do and that he may have a chance.
2007-02-28 23:38:33 · answer #10 · answered by <3...Carla...<3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Casual sex is great, no complications and no strings attached. As for the younger man you could try silencing him, by sleeping with him....ONCE and then dump him. He will be less inclined to tell anyone, coz he will feel embarrassed if others know you dumped him.
2007-02-28 23:38:18 · answer #11 · answered by Neill 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋