My fiancee has trouble with me having guy friends he doesn't know. He went to look at my phone last night and I took it away because a guy friend had texted me on advice about his GF. My faincee completely blew up saying that he'll get me back and he doesnt trust me.
What do I do? He says he never heard about this dude before but I had told him about me having lunch with him and another girl. I'm at a loss for what to do or say.. is he taking it too far?
2007-02-28 23:16:03 · 17 answers · asked by All I have to do is dream... 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
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Important things to take note here Mustang Susie!
Your fiancee is not as mature as you think!
He's showing his insecurity (or nervousness) in trying to throw accusations that have no merit or foundation.
You have probably already talked with him regarding this and if he has not shown the ability to accept life as it is - KEY POINT!
Meaning, women will have guy friends (mostly at work) and men will have women friends (mostly work). That is a fact of life.
I think that you may HAVE to distance your guy friends MORE because you are about to enter a life commitment, so THAT part is your responsibility.
Ask yourself - is he worth it? If so, you may even have to end your closeness with these guy friends and keep them at a distance all together - for the SAKE of the relationship.
Tough call, good luck!
2007-02-28 23:23:56 · answer #1 · answered by HottNikkels 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tips from a marriage conference. Not trusting you and all. I know that with today's technology we have more issues now than ever about this sort of thing. In a marriage conference, It was stated if you are married you don't have opposite sex freinds if you want a strong marriage. I believe that even if you can keep you limits about certain things, how does it look? So many of us have e-mail friends. If you are married you should not have opposite sex freinds. I have seen this in the work place, and eventually the marriage will break up because after you become good friends you start confiding in them and then sometimes it goes further than you planned. Another point. never be in the company of the opposite sex, unless you have a friends of the same sex you sre, that way there's never any question about you two being alone.
Trust is very important in any relationship. I would get all this worked out BEFORE you get married.
I would set down with him and talk about these issues and what you all can do to build a trusting relationship, eppecially if you are going to be married, they have Getting Married Workbooks, Before I say I Do... might be real helpful.
Good Luck I hope I was able to help a little...
2007-02-28 23:33:15 · answer #2 · answered by ladybugjan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like your fiance has some serious trust issues. Is this something you really want in the man you are going to marry? He sounds very possessive. You probably need to talk to him and figure out if this is going to be an on going issue. Explain to him that you do have male friends and that he needs to trust you if your relationship is going to work.
At the same time, he's not being totally unreasonable about being upset that you are talking with another guy. Are you 100% sure you told him about this guy? Did you maybe tell him when he was distracted? If you are going to continue having male friends, you have to be completely open with your fiance and not give him reason to distrust you. While he was wrong to try and look at your phone, not showing him the message gives him further reason not to trust you.
2007-02-28 23:30:26 · answer #3 · answered by Justin H 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes he IS taking it too far. Get out while you can.. once youre married, he is going to get MUCH worse. Take it from one who knows. Had I known back then what I know now...
Just find a good all purpose excuse to break up with him so he doesnt turn into a stalker. Tell him anything.. but get out of this situation.
A real man doesnt feel threatened by another man. He should trust YOU even if he doesnt trust the intentions of other people. If he trusted you, he would trust you alone with any man (in reasonable circumstances that would not endanger your safety. and even in that case, his concern should be about your safety .... NOT your fidelity)
2007-02-28 23:25:51 · answer #4 · answered by Onyx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is probably insecure and doesn't feel that he's good enough for you. You might want to just lay it out clearly who these guys are and why you are talking to them and why you are dating your boyfriend and not them. Maybe you should invite them over to meet him once so they aren't just faceless guys to your boyfriend. If he knows you, he'll realize you are a nice girl who likes to help out other people. Ask him what you can do to make him more comfortable with the idea that you have guy friends. And not seeing them is not an option. Does he have gal friends? It would be weird if he was holding a double standard. I think he just needs to hear "listen, I'm with you, and I'll always be with you. That's why I said yes to your proposal. and I know you love me for the person I am,, including that I like to help out other people and be a good friend, it should matter if that friend is male or female, and I hope you can understand that because i really want this/us to work. "
2007-02-28 23:24:07 · answer #5 · answered by red_shoes_lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
and you still want a relationship with this crude man? you are just asking for more of the same ignorant treatment and you know in your heart he is not treating you right. he pulled the phone away from you? no trust in this relationship and probably because this guy is a cheater himself and he knows what he has done and is still doing...don't let the guy treat you like his property..this is a classic abuser and your fault will be if you tolerate this as it can only get worse.
2007-02-28 23:25:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No! You shouldnt need GUY friends when you have a GUY already to love and on your arm. You need to stop being selfish and let those guy friends go. I wouldnt trust you either, though you probably arnt doing anything, IT LOOKS bad . He doesnt want you hanging out with another guy unless he is there! Your going to marry him, choose him over your guy friends.
2007-02-28 23:21:47 · answer #7 · answered by Encouragement 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No its just d feeling of insecurity.There is no medecine for this kind of mental disorder.UUUU r d only one who can help him to recover.Try to take him with u,introduce ur guy frenz wid him,show him ur mobile sms................What ever give him noise just explain him properly.I know I sound crazy n its not a easy job to do,specially when u know u r not wrong ,but trust me if u love ur guy n dont want any miss understanding between ,then u have to compromise.
Dont forget MISS UNDERSTANDING is the reason of 83% of love failure.
BEST OF LUCK.
2007-02-28 23:27:01 · answer #8 · answered by sherry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you value your relationship wit your bf then the suspicious acts like taking the phone when he asks about your male friends could alleviate alot of the needless drama for the both of you
2007-02-28 23:22:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lose your single friends why would you need be around single male friends when you have someone that you love so much and what have you done to make him feel that he can't trust you.You may not be getting married to him because it won't work if he has alot of suspicions.
2007-02-28 23:23:09 · answer #10 · answered by Mary O 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋