What is the funniest thing your child has said to you?

Answer 1

My brother retells a story about when his daughter was about 2, she was terrorizing the cat, trapping it with a laundry basket, and my brother says..."don't come crying to me if you get hurt!"...he kept telling her no and finally gave up, she is very strong willed, and let her learn the hard way. A few more minutes go by and she starts wailing and got scratched and bit by the cat...and my brother sends her to her room until she is done crying. He didn't want to give her any sympathy.

So it's all quiet, and then a few minutes later you hear a rustling around in the toyboxes upstairs, and a thunk thunk as she stomps downstairs...brandishing a plastic whiffle bat and looking for her victim.

Now my brother has a great sense of humor and finds a lot of things she does really funny, so he was thinking...dear God what is she up to, trying not to laugh.

When he asks her what, exactly, she is doing? She puffs up her maddest face and sputters through clenched teeth...."That damn cat!!!!"

Answer 2

I think maybe one of the funniest things (probably because of how much it shocked me) was when my 9 year old daughter told me she isnt a lesbian yet but might decide to be when she gets a bit older. It was the matter of fact way she came out with it, but im lucky in that ive always had a really open view to these sorts of discussions with my kids and they obviously feel safe to say what they want with the knowledge that they will be loved no matter what and not judged. Bless her, what a darling

Answer 3

A couple weeks ago I was taking a shower and as I got out my 4 yr old daughter stuck her head in the door and said "Remember, don't be a squidward!" and ran away laughing. I'm not sure where it came from or what brought it on but I'll never forget it. By the way it's a line from "SpongeBob SquarePants"

Answer 4

My little brother, when he was about 3 years old and in bed, really ill and disorientated... my mother and I were looking after the poor little boy and he just looked up at her, lost and confused... his vision must have been blurring because he had such a high temperature... and quietly asked... "Mommy? Why do you have three eyes?"

Another time when I was a teenager I went to the neighbour's house to babysit their 6 year old boy. He had obviously just had the talk about why boys and girls are different. So he leaped over to me and eagerly asked if he could see where I didn't have a willy.

Answer 5

At aged 24 I took my guides and sister guide group on a trip. One of the guides who was about 11 and that I hadn't met before asked me how old I was. I jokingly replied that I was too old to answer questions like that. She looked aghast and with a tone of great wonder said "are you fifteen then?" Apparently anything older than that and you may as well be dead.

Answer 6

I teach first grade. One of the boys told a parent volunteer that his dog had to get his balls cut off because he was humping so much. She and I laughed until we almost cried.

I had told my nephew I shouldn't eat all the Fritos and needed to put them away, He asked why. I said because they're not healthy and I was trying to eat healthy to get skinnier. The next day he came to my house. I have a picture on my fridge in a bikini when I did a body building contest...He said, "Auntie, there's a picture of you here not fat." It was so innocent and matter of fact. Guess you had to be there:)

Answer 7

I work in childcare, and I was working with a two and half year old who's getting pretty good at verbally identifying her shapes. She correctly named STAR - CIRCLE - SQUARE - TRIANGLE - DIAMOND and when i pointed to the HEART she said "Carebears". I finally clicked and realised she meant the heart symbol printed on the bottoms of Care Bear Teddies. I figured she pretty much got it right lol

Answer 8

My two year old daughter gets quite excited when she sees other kids out in public, and she will say quite loudly and point "little girl" or "little boy". Unfortunately she's not quite a pro at telling girls with short hair apart from boys, and vice versa... I've had a few parents look at me strangely, lol.

Answer 9

Hi April, That would be my grandson. He told me, Grandpa stinks and needs to take a shower. The funny thing is he was right. LOL. A Friend.

Clowmy

Answer 10

I handed my 2 year old daughter to her dad that was in the shower because she was full of spaghetti sauce (she fed herself)he washed her down and handed her back to me. She then said "hey mom joey has a little tail and daddy has a big tail" joey is her baby brother.lol