He spends all his time with me, we have a great sex life, he loves my kids and I love his. We spend the holidays together and confide in each other and don't see other people BUT he won't tell me that he loves me and won't commit. It has been a year. I love him and don't want to waste my time. Should I bail?
2007-02-28 21:36:43 · 11 answers · asked by Alexa 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No, you shouldn't bail. You should let him come to commitment in his own time. If your relationship is half as good as you paint it this shouldn't be long in coming. I would strongly advise against pressuring him for commitment. He is likely once bitten twice shy and being wisely more careful this time around. Be grateful you have such a great guy - they're not exactly standing around on every street corner - and be patient. When he commits, he'll be sure. Isn't that what you want?
2007-02-28 21:51:55 · answer #1 · answered by Bethany 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him where you are emotionally and give him a little while to process. Chances are that he will realize that he wants you around, even if he is hesitant admitting it. If he has be burned badly in a recent relationship, he may need more time.
But you have to be ready to walk if he thinks that he won't be able to offer some commitment. If he wants to spend more time with you he has to commit. You've not only got yourself to worry about, but you have kids. You don't want to 'waste' time on someone you have no future with.
2007-02-28 21:43:10 · answer #2 · answered by glimpseofthesky 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
NO Sit him down and talk to him about this and see where he stands on the matter ... and then see if you think you should leave or not .... my husband told me the first 2 years we dated that he would never stay with one women and settled down and get married . and when i was at the point your at i sat him down and told how i felt and that he need to tell me what his plans was cause i was not going to waste any more years if he was not going to ever love me and commit to me ...then 2 months later he asked me to marry him and here i am 2 1/2 years later... still in love with him married ,with 2 great kids...Hang in there...
Wish the best of Luck..
2007-02-28 21:46:42 · answer #3 · answered by GEN-GEN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it sounds like you both have had a past relationship. Women are more likely to "recover" before men. He may just not want to get into that again to fast. It most likely has nothing to do with if he loves you, he just is scared of commitment. Just keep loving him and see where the road leads.
2007-02-28 21:44:08 · answer #4 · answered by Hello!!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him if he loves you. As far as the commitment, he may be wary after a bad relationship or just taking things slow. Talk to him about all of this, but I don't think bailing would be a good idea right now. Good luck
2007-02-28 21:42:10 · answer #5 · answered by Steel 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
After reading your answer to my question, I find myself wanting to say that you should dump him because I would love to have you for myself! ;) You seemed to describe me perfectly (6’ tall, cute, a bit shy, and I’ve been told, by friends, that I’m very smart too) and you don’t even know me! But I have to admit that my advice to you would be to talk with him about it. If you want him to commit to you, you have to be committed to communicating with him so that he can work through problems with you. Often times, he may not know what’s going on in your mind. I know you probably try to give him signs/signals, but please bear in mind that it’s not always easy for us men to decipher your signals all of the time without error, which can be extremely confusing to us! This is why I’m such a firm believer in communication! We (men) would love to be able to read your minds sometimes, but unfortunately, we can’t do that. So talk to him, tell him what’s on your mind and that you want him to commit to you! If he still will not commit, then there’s always other fish out in the sea for you. I don’t know how much time you should give him though. For that, I think you should probably listen to the advice of GEN-GEN. It sounds like she’s been though what you’re going though before.
And as for him not telling you that he loves you… This is a hard one for me to give advice on because the romantic part of me says that he should be able to tell you that he loves you, but I know how hard it can be as a man to tell someone that I love them. I come from a family where there never was too much love between my parents. And I think that this lead to the familiar macho man feeling of “I love you” equating to weakness that I need to overcome. Maybe he could be just as screwed up as me and may need your help in overcoming this feeling.
2007-03-01 08:49:38 · answer #6 · answered by kmarshal73 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about it. All the signs are showing that he does love you. Some men are actors and like to show their emotions, while others are verbal and express them. He just maybe an "action speaks louder than words" type of guy.
2007-02-28 22:16:07 · answer #7 · answered by Essence 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he is as good as you say he is...then just wait...its better to have a very good friend and boyfriend then to get another miserable husband...people change after they get married..and usually for the worst.
2007-02-28 21:44:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
bail
you already knew the answer before you asked the question, you're just looking for anonymous validation online
2007-02-28 21:42:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
NO, he loves or he wouldn't do all those things you say he does
2007-02-28 21:54:04 · answer #10 · answered by Rocky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋