what should i do??? girlfriend problem?

Question

my long distance gf is getting really heavy she trying to buy a property i put the whole deposit down but still she asking for another £2500 i dunno if this is still a relationship anymore cos i havnt been able to c her for 2 yrs because i havnt got the funds to do so i struggling as a self employed individual after being made redundant before i was giving her over half my salary a month to pay her rent and stuff as well as going to see her every 2 months she 3500 miles away and in canada, the plan is for me to move over but i trying to get my business running really well and all she does is send emails pushing for money and saying i not trying hard enough its stressing me out and i not happy, i love her though cant get her outta my head tried to help her but she never paid me back a thing and at the mo she hasnt giot a secure job and is getting a mortgage she is coming accross as totally nieve but wont listen she thinks and knows she is beautiful and deserves the world, her words help

well i making more than 250 a day so probably making more than u silly boy!!

Answer 1

I find it hard to grasp if you don't have the funds to come and see her in Canada, how it is you are able to give her all this money!?!

Answer 2

Wow, that sounds very difficult for you emotionally. Lond distance relationships can be intensely exciting to start with, but for most people, after a while it can become very stressful unless you can move nearer to each other.

It seems like your girlfriend doesn't come and visit you? It's not fair if you are the one who always has to do the travelling.

Would it be possible for you two to meet halfway in an exciting city, just for a short break, and talk things through?

I think you need to try and separate your feelings for her and how much you want to move to Canada. If you like the idea of living in Canada, what is stopping you from setting up your business there?

Don't take this on board if it doesn't resonate, but some long distance relationships are a way of both people avoiding long term commitment and intimacy. That's OK, as long as you are aware that is what you're doing. It doesn't sound as if either of you are happy at the moment, and although it will be very painful, I think you have to make a decision very soon about ending the relationship, or moving over there quite soon (or her moving over to where you are)

I'd advise you to get some emotional support for yourself (from family and friends if possible) and think it through carefully, then make a decision.

If you decide to end it, remember, there are lots of beautiful girls in the world, and you deserve to be happy.

Whatever you decide, good luck!

Answer 3

I honestly think she is taking you for a mug. If i was this girl and you couldn't afford to travel to see me, I'd make sure I got a job or borrowed money from family to come and see you. It seems this is a one way relationship and you are doing all the giving and not getting anything in return. What does she do for you? Does she make you feel loved? I'm guessing not. Perhaps test the water by telling her you cannot afford a mortgage on just your wage and that she'll have to come in as a joint buyer, meaning she'll have to get a job. If she really wants the house (and you of course) she should react rationally about this. If she doesn't even consider the option I think you know what you have to do. You say you love her, but how can you when she treats you like this. I think you love the idea of being in love. You sound like a caring man, there are plenty of decent girls out there who would love to be with you. Why don't you just go out with friends and have a good time, if you look like you're having fun then you'll be surprised how girls find that attractive. There are plenty more fish in the sea ............... good luck.

Answer 4

Hey, you need to stop thinking og this girl as her looks and how it would be to have her, it is more than that. It sounds like she is using you, I don't want to hurt you but it isn't your job to make all her monitary dreams come true. If she cared about you she would make the effort to take the burden off of you, not add to it. This may be inmaturity and if it is, will it get better or not? she may never change and you will always be stressed out trying to get her what she wants. i think you need to back off, let her struggle. Why pay for something you both can't use right now? Tell her to wait, you need to save and then get together and do things like this together. Sounds like shje is in a hurry and that would make some red flags come up for me. Please, lay back and let her do what she will, let her know you aren't a bank or her ersonal provider, you aren't married, have no choildren and have no fringe benefits at this time. Let go for a while and see how she reacts, if she is so inmature you will see it and you may decide you don't love her enough to spend the rest of your life with someone that is so demanding and uncaring. Sorry, my opinion and I have lived for a while. Good luck and prayers are coming out for you baby boy...wisdom for you to see the truth.

Answer 5

Easier said than done I know but I would call it quits if I were you. It sounds like she is getting all the good stuff ie money whilst you stress and get nothing in return. If she is arrogant enough to expect the world at your expense I would find someone else who appreciates your hard work. She doesnt have to do anything not even make an effort in the relationship. She sits there and does nothing whilst you give over all your hard earned cash. You cannot make your business work if you are stressed and giving away all your money. Find a nice loving girl closer to home!

Answer 6

I saw & answered your other question concerning this also & have to say that no matter how many times you post it here & no matter how many different ways you pose the question....the answer is still the same

Beautiful to look at she may be....but if you continue to allow this situation to go on....you will become more & more unhappy, in the end sweetheart, trust me her beauty will soon begin to look ugly, you've set yourself up to fall ever deeper into a place whereby you now doubt even what your own intelligent brain tells you.....you know deep down the right solution but as yet although you're searching for the answers you in fact aren't ready to follow any....not the proper ones anyway.....when you are, you will no longer need to post questions asking for others advice, you will know not only the right thing to do but also how to do it....when that day comes then you can come back on here & post "I've done it" rather than "what should I do"

I'm so sorry, I realise it's not a nice place to be but for gods sake John....all the time you allow this to continue your head is becoming more & more fukced up by someone based entirely on their looks.......because the beauty sure as hell can't be anywhere else......perhaps it's about time you began to think about your own sanity & stopped feeding someone elses selfishness & greed.
good luck Babe.....

Answer 7

Me personally cant see a relationship working long distance and if ur not happy u have to end things its not fair on u ...im a bit confused on y u have to send money for her mortgage and stuff? come on im sure u can find sumone perfect who isnt that far away and doesnt stress u out over money ...I've never had a arguement with my bloke over money andbeen 3 yrs and we live together...i think end things and start over u dont need the stress good luck!!

Answer 8

This may seem hard and you sound like a geniune person but she is taking the micky out of you. Come on I have only just read your question and can see what she is doing. Speak to her and tell her there is no more cash and she needs to help and see what happens. I couldnt do that to anyone never mind someone I love. Dont be treated like a doormat and tell her enough is enough.

Answer 9

Tell your gf forget about the property, forget all the other stuff and ask her to come lived with you....If she says NO or gave you some lame excuses, WHICH I KNOW SHE WILL.....LEAVE HER!!!! She's not worth your love, time and your MONEY!! IF she says yes...then your problem is solve because now you can prepare a future together....Good luck...Don't be afraid to loose her there are many fishes on the ocean...remember the ratio of a man to a female is 1:2.....

Answer 10

Dude, it sounds like this chick is using you. You say all she does is send emails telling u to send her more money and that you are not trying hard enough. Uh hello?? You sent her how much money and you're the one working and trying to see her? What about her? If she cared alot about you she would be trying to see you too but instead she's making you send her more money. Dump her and let her find another cash cow. And YOU find a girl that appreciates you.

Answer 11

Ok for starters. You're planning on moving to be with her yet you're not prepared to get a proper job to help you...? Starting your own business is a daft thing to do when that's in your plans. Wouldn't it be a wiser idea to get a proper job to get a stable income for a couple of months then once you're in Canada, start your own business? Wouldn't that make more sense? Think about it.

Also consider - if you haven't thought of that option; do you really want to be with her? Really?