My boyfriend,25, of 6 months was diagnosed with PTS after his fathers sudden death 5 yrs ago( he said his dad was his best friend) and recieved counselling for 1yr.
A year ago his mother passed away from cancer.He was living with his ex (together 2 yrs) in another city at the time and when he went back after his mothers funeral his ex and one of his best mates sat him down and told him they had been together for some time, while he was travelling to and fro home to his sick mother.
When I met him he had returned to his home town , it was 9 months since he had split from his ex and he said he was ready to move on with his life.
We had a good relationship until we had our first serious row 3 weeks ago.Now he's gone very distant . I've brought it up he says he"struggling with life in general" at the moment.He is a proud , sensitive ,intelligent guy . I gently brought up him going back to counselling and he joked was "I worried he was mentally unstable"? Can I help him?
2007-02-28 20:30:22 · 13 answers · asked by Evelyn M 3 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I asked him if he wanted to end it and he said his heart was still with me.
2007-02-28 20:35:38 · update #1
Sounds like your boyfriend has been through some major traumas. With all of those things, it is pretty normal that he'd have separation and trust issues. Maybe you could gently tell him that it is normal to have to get therapy periodically when you've had as many traumas as he's had. If he's generally struggling with life anyway, then maybe a trained therapist is a good place to bounce some ideas off of. Most of all, it is important that he know that you are there for him and won't leave him while the two of you get through these things together. He may be feeling that people he gets close to always leave (whether through death or action) so he may be afraid to hold on to anyone very closely. I have PTSD from childhood abuse and there are still times I need to check in with a therapist just to level myself out from time to time. Just because he went and got some therapy doesn't mean everything is all better, and apparently they aren't. I hope you can lead him to a trained therapist, sounds like he really does need it. Good luck.
2007-02-28 20:39:05 · answer #1 · answered by Heather K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I kinda get how you feel. If counciling isn't helping you need something else that is going to. Are you on anything for your depression? Being admitted onto a physicatric ward may help, might be the best option. It gives you time alone in a safe place and you wouldn't be able to do things to harm yourself. They have professionals that can help you through it and get out of it. Ending it isn't the answer. I know what it does to people. Your not in the slightest bit selfish for wanting to end it, your just ill, it's your psychiatric problems that make you feel that way, nothing else. It does sound like you've had it hard. But it also sounds as though you have a supportive and caring boyfriend and family, do it for them. You can beat it, it just takes time, you've your whole life ahead of you and it will get better! You sound like an amazing girl, please don't do it. If anyone has anything nasty in response to your question ignor them. You can beat it all!
2016-03-29 04:55:27 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It looks like he's still keeping a bit of his sense of humour, so that's a hopeful sign.
Grief can unlock a huge range of emotions. I've struggled with PTSD for some time along with similar issues. Talk therapy and medication (if his doctor reccommends it) are helpful.
Being a sympathetic listener to his thoughts is really important. There are definitely times that he's going to want to be left alone. Don't think that it's a sign of rejection when that happens. It's not necessarily a "cry for help", either. Sometimes it's just easier to sort things out, alone.
I would advise him gently about getting some councelling. You can always answer his joke with something akin to; "No, I don't think you're unstable. I just want to see you happy."
Positive encouragement is helpful.
I wish you both the best. :)
2007-02-28 20:56:12 · answer #3 · answered by beam_me_up_spotty 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did he ever take medication for it? If not, he could try going to a psychiatrist or other medical doctor. If he has only had conselling and it's not working, medication might work better.
I'm not a doctor or consellor, but I do know the criteria for PTSD. Somebody lives through an unusually traumatic event beyond average expectation (like seeing people killed, being sexually abused, etc.) and they have recurring dreams about the event and "can't get it out of their head." Unless there is strong evidence that this is happening to him, a psychiatrist or other doctor might not agree with the diagnosis of PTSD.
2007-03-05 23:42:05 · answer #4 · answered by majnun99 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow. He is going through a really tough time. Just because he goes through counseling doesn't mean he's unstable. Those are 2 very different things. He's been through 3 traumatic experiences. He was 20 years old when his father died. That is really young. And his last living parent died recently. And his significant other left him for someone else, in addition to cheating on him. He needs to see someone who is trained to help him healthily deal with these things. Please encourage him to do so.
2007-02-28 20:42:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well first off,it depends on what u said in ur serius row,we all argue in relationships,but sum things r uncalld 4,if u havnt said nuthin bad,mayb the stress off loosing both parents have made him depressd n he dnt know whats happenin 2 him,or hes scard off loosing u,who he loves,like he lost his mom n dad,greif can last 4 years,all i can say 2 u is have patiance,n understanding,n love,it mite b hard,but if u love him enough,it wil work out,n thats how u cn help him,talk,listen,n understand,n then hopefully u wil hav a very goog relationship,where u can talk n listen 2 each other
2007-03-03 13:37:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the best thing you can do is just say to him, i'm here for you no matter what happens and he'll sort himself out in time even if that is with a counciler. Just let him know your there anytime he wants to talk, sometime men forget these things.
2007-03-03 10:59:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone goes through periods where they need to find themselves and it takes time. Hes not mentally unstable he just needs to find himself like hes said. You can help him by being there for him.
2007-03-02 06:14:01 · answer #8 · answered by laydeeheartless 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it can be cured, so dont worry. Take him to a teacher who can teach some breathing exercises which will help him to calmdown, relax more n more and will bring him out of depression completely.
2007-02-28 20:47:29 · answer #9 · answered by Ganapathy 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Depression, he can't do anything but try and enjoy life. Noone can make him change it has to be him. He has to want to get over the depression...
2007-02-28 20:41:28 · answer #10 · answered by GQsmooth 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋