Can you control your feelings about someone you love?

Question

He is always one step ahead in our relationship. I feel kind of used. But unfortunately i love him very much and i can not control my feelings for him. I NEVER SAY "NO". What can i do?

Answer 1

it's a matter of setting your goals & priorities in life. what do you want? to be used for as long as he wants & be left alone someday with all the deadly pains & heartaches he will leave with you? or stop now & wait for the right one who will give you your much deserved respect? i think somehow, we are in the same boat. been in that situation for quite sometime but just recently, i made a decision. a firm decision to give respect to myself that he cannot give me. & then i realized that happiness cannot be found somewhere else but within my own self. :-) it is very unfair that you are always available for him but he cannot be there for you esp at times when you needed him most. learn to love yourself first, then you'll see, everything will follow.

Answer 2

You may not be able to control your feelings but you can say no if you're feeling used and unappreciated. Part of being in love is being able to tell each other no and not be crucified for it. If you can't do that with this man then feelings or not, you need to leave for your own sake.

I think the relationship your in right now is a lesson for you. and i think it's something like 'This is what love feels like, and this is what it's like to have it abused'. i think you need to leave this man and find someone who is going to love you right and not make you feel used and inferior.

I hope you're strong enough to make the decision you need to make before things get worse.

Answer 3

The best thing to do is to start saying NO. However, if you've been letting him walk all over you for a while now, then any change in that is sure to cause friction. In fact, that is probably the reason you cave in to him, because you don't want friction in the relationship. But guess what? Eventually your true feelings will manifest themselves in some way, and it's anyones guess what that may be...

Answer 4

Control your felling! Control your love.. Don't afraid to say no because on your case NO is good.

Answer 5

u need to learn to say no in relatiionship.dats one of the test of true love.. and specially dont say yes to sex.....if he says he break off bcoz of u saying no.then better break of ur relatinship. oter wise u wil suffer afer ur marriae and he should accept u as u are. this continues u wil be like a robot...u r not a tv to be controled by a remote...so..plese express urself to.learn to say. no.

Answer 6

Of course you cannot control your feelings of love. I would suggest that you take things easy and don't lose out by telling yourself to "slow down" and let him lead the way (if he is interested in you).

Answer 7

keep saying yes until you have had enough or have met someone else whom you feel treats you better, and doest use you. I've been there and I remember the fear of being alone made me do stupid things and I lost the respect for myself when I allowed him to manipulate me out of fear of losing him and being lonely, there are plenty of guys out there and they will come when you least expect it! I guarantee you!

Answer 8

Try to be away for some time to test your feeling .
Ask someone you trust about this person .
If he isn't a suitable person so stop thinking .

Answer 9

We are so alike!!
You love him so much that you'll do anything for him.
Just make sure you don't give too much.
it's not right and you'll only end up hurting yourself.
Just be careful.
You can control anything.
Step up for what you believe in.
Don't ever be afraid to speak your mind.

Answer 10

If you don't feel comfortable then say NO! If he has a problem with that then that's his problem and if he truely loves you he will understand. Let him know how you feel!