So here's how the convo basically went.
Her--"I've fallen for my best friend. Now I feel all weird and awkward and I dont know how to act because I dont want him to know I like him, because I know he doesnt like me."
Me-- "Well, maybe he does like you."
Her--"No. I know he doesnt. And now everytime I talk to him, if I say something stupid i feel real dumb, and think 'omg he probably thinks Im so stupid.'' So I said that it sounded like she was acting as if she just met him. As if he was some guy she really liked but didnt really know so she was nervous. I reminded her that this is her best friend and she should feel comfortable, but she just said "Its different now b/c I like him. And i feel weird b/c he doesnt like me." --------I dont know what to tell her to help her feel comfortable like she was before. I also think its weird that she suddenly developed feelings for him. They've known each other for two years. How can things suddenly change? If I understood, I think I could help
2007-02-28 18:32:36 · 7 answers · asked by Florida Gal 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
wow. these are such great answers. All of y'all have helped so much.
2007-02-28 19:20:56 · update #1
Hey.. well the thing is of course you can suddenly develop feelings for a friend you've known for a long time... its happened to me a couple of times, and its kinda like you've had blinkers (that horses wear) taken off and all of a sudden you've noticed this guy differently than before... and it can be a very confusing time coz you automatically don't know how to act around them anymore... there is this unsaid thing between you... he may be completely unaware or also be noticing the change... but this is also where she needs to tread carefully... is she willing to risk their friendship for either a relationship or rejection as far as romance goes... because its not always reciprocated (I don't want to sound like a drag... but through personal experience these are things that she might want to consider) I have had a couple of friends that I fell for, and one guy in particular was really sweet in the way he did it... I had written a card for his birthday (coz I was sick of not knowing) that basically said (not in exact words... but implied) how I feel about him... he then called me aside after a group of us were leaving his house and said that he didn't feel that way about me and he didn't want to lead me on... but he wanted us to be really great mates... needless to say I was devastated and it was a bit awkward for a while... but we never got back that comfortableness in our friendship and the great mates we were supposed to be never happened... I don't even see him anymore (this happened about 2 years ago) and its sad... so as a friend you need to gently tell your friend these things so that she weighs up the pros and cons very carefully.... make sure se is not seeing things coz she wants to... maybe do some fishing ... but not so she knows and find out where his feelings lie... this could definately help the decision... and be the shoulder to cry on if it doesn't work out the way she wants it to... these can be tricky situations coz some of the best relationships come out of friendships.... I wish you luck and you're a good friend for wanting to understand her situation to help better!
2007-02-28 18:50:31 · answer #1 · answered by tarzanatvw 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the situation right now ... it's an awful feeling because you feel so jealous for no reason at all. But I've decided not to tell him, only some of my friends because I couldn't stand rejection. What if I bump into him ( I can't avoid it because he's a family friend) ? It would be really awkward coz guys have a tendency to be assuming (forgive my language). It's better (and safe) for the guy to make a move first. I just feel like I want to avoid him or be hurt!
I also had another guy friend whom I've known for almost 10 years (since Uni) and he developed feelings for me 2 years ago. I didn't feel anything for him, and forgive me but I was so bad to him. But up to now, we're still friends and we still meet up, because I do not assume that he likes me. So now, we have a great friendship.
2007-03-01 05:03:46 · answer #2 · answered by AnaC 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm kind of in this same situation... except it's been going on for 5 years... I love this girl, and she only sees me as a friend. It sucks. Real bad. The worst feeling. Tell her to get it over with, tell him she likes him. It's not worth wishing and hoping and praying for 5 long, lonely years. It's not worth it. Tell her to hold his hand or do something. I couldn't do anything for 5 years and now I still can't love anyone else, even though my girl has a boyfriend.
2007-03-01 02:39:37 · answer #3 · answered by classical_maniac101 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand your friend situation. Trust me, i really does. I once fallen for my best friend too and like your friend i just keep it to myself. I never let anybody to know this especially him cos i don't want him to stay away from me. One day when friends told me that he's interested in a girl, it really hurt! I even pretend to be happy for him and even help him to tackle the girl without find out is it true or not. Really stupid,huh! One day, like usual we all friends have a gathering and to my surprise he gave me flowers and express his feeling to me! That time i really feel like i'm dreaming but is true. He told me he too have fallen for me but he is to shy to express it to me bcos he worry I might reject him. Guess what? Now we have married for about 10yrs and have two wonderful children.
I think you need to straight forward help your friend to ask the guy weather he too have feeling for her. What if both of them have feeling for each other but too shy or too worry to make a move, then they have to wait until when? If you found out that the guy happen to have no feeling for your friend, then sorry to say that you better ask your friend not to stay any closer to him or waste any more time on him. I know it won't be easy for your friend to overcome this but at least let her know the very truth weather she and her best friend can be together or not. Waste no more time, act now! Good Luck!
2007-03-01 03:16:05 · answer #4 · answered by KP 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she has new feelings and he is clueless then she has nothing to worry about. she is feeling awkward for no reason then because she likes him. maybe you can talk to the guy and see if he likes her more than a friend.
2007-03-01 02:39:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell your friend to go and find this book in your local book store... it might help her help herself.
it's called... he's just not that into you!
it's not the end of the world if this guy isn't in to her... so what? Let this guy make his move if he is going to make it or not? If he is not willing to make it than who cares he's not worthy of you and what's even better is you are just one more guy closer to finding the one that is not only worthy of you but better than this guy is!!!!
2007-03-01 02:41:43 · answer #6 · answered by th1despina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her to take a break till she come into terms with this situation.
This new feeling is overwhelming her at this moment. It Will pass with time
2007-03-01 02:40:09 · answer #7 · answered by Sean 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋