Is he busy, playing games, or just respecting my space?

Question

I'm a 25 year-old introverted female who works in a different town every week. I joined an online dating service with "profile-matching" to ensure compatibility with someone. Lo and behold, they came through---he is amazing. I flew to see him, things went great, he told me he had a great time, too. However, he didn't call me until 4 days after I'd gotten home from visiting him (after he'd told me to call and tell him if I'd "gotten in safely" and then didn't answer) And that will have been a week ago tomorrow. What gives? A little background info that keeps me hoping: (1) he is a doctor in residency working crazy thirty-something hour shifts every other day (2) he just found out (since we've met) that his mom has a tumor (his dad is dead) and he may be worried about her and (3) he's training to be a psychiatrist and seems wary about my commitment/responsibility issues. But he was SO communicative before and now he hasn't even responded to an e-mail I sent a week ago about his mom

Answer 1

Hmmm. He does sound like a busy guy, but by the same token, you have certainly given him the benefit of the doubt. Repeated attempts to contact him will make you look desperate and "stalkerish". If I were you, I would do two things:
1) Continue to utilize the dating service and meet additional people (why wait on him)?
2) Try to work on becoming less introverted.

When I was your age, I was a TERRIBLE introvert, and basically ended up dating only the men who approached me... here's a gem: Guys are just as intimidated by us as we are of them!!! NOTHING IS AS ENTICING TO A MAN AS A WOMAN WHO FINDS HIM INTERESTING! FORCE yourself to smile and make conversation until it becomes second nature... you will be amazed at how men respond.

In the meantime, however, I would not contact this man again... If he calls you with a darn good excuse, fine. Otherwise, there are alot of fish in the sea, you just need to change your bait.

Answer 2

His career is very demanding but an email only takes a minute or so. I would give it a little more time but I would email him a couple more times in the next week. If you can phone him after that maybe you can get a "feel" by his reactions to you on the phone. I wouldn't put much into the relationship this early. Don't burn the bridge you have built. I'd go on and date and see what happens rather than sit around and wait which only will waste your valuable time. Good Luck to you.

Answer 3

OOh, I would be concerned about number 3. He definitely doesn't sound like the type that plays games, he clearly has things to do. I'm curious as to how the conversation went on day 4? That respecting space excuse is bonkers. If someone is into you, they want to know what you're doing and can't go two days without wanting to talk to you. However, if he's working those long days AND has a sick mom, I don't think he's ready for a relationship, so be prepared to move on.

Answer 4

It seems he's pretty busy, but could call you when he gets off work, I think four days is pretty long. He could talk to you about his mom, but maybe is not that comfortable with you yet.
If this tumor with his mother just happened he may be worrying about it so much that he is having trouble keeping up with his working schedule, that may be why he hasn't called. Doctors work some very long hours and something you would need to get used to. You could ask him to check in with you more though so you know he's okay.

Answer 5

I think he's not interested, because any guy that is interested in a women, there will be nothing stoping him.... Well if you want just stop calling etc, and wait for time to pass by, then like next month call him up and see whats up... Just wait for him to make the move...

Don't keep your hope up...

Answer 6

Send him one more email, saying you loved meeting him and would like to hear from him again, and explore overcoming your commitment issues, yada yada yada.

Then that's it. Leave it alone. If he wants you he knows where to find you.