My mom's elderly aunt died. I had seen her and talked to her at family gatherings over the years, but not too much. Nice lady. Didn't know her that well. But she is family. Should my wife and I sit with the family, or blend in with the other attendees?
2007-02-28 18:10:30 · 13 answers · asked by redrum5785 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Generally at funerals,family will take up 2 to 3 of the front pews.
Immediate family will,of course be at the front (sons/daughters/surviving spouse/siblings etc).
So just as a guide I'd pop yourself into the 2nd or 3rd pew which infers that you're not looking to take another's place who might have been closer to your great aunt than you but that you are family nonetheless.
From there you can readily slip into a pew further up or one behind should you feel it more appropriate.
Another good one I've found at funerals is that you inevitably meet someone else you know quite well and often you slip into a spot with them.
Don't worry about this too much.If there was ever an occasion where etiquette isn't 'de rigeur' it's at funerals.
Your attendance is what matters and far more than where you sit.
2007-02-28 20:07:15 · answer #1 · answered by bearbrain 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't much understand the etiquette of seating at a funeral. When my mother died there was a reasonable gathering, about 40 people and I wanted them ALL with me. I wanted all of them to know they could sit wherever they wanted to...because we were all grieving together and needed each other, no matter how close we were. My opinion is if you come to the funeral, you are as good as family.
Also at my direction, the family didn't sit off to the side, away from the rest of the gathering. I can see where it might be a more private area, etc. but I didn't like the idea. So I just asked the funeral director to move the reserved signs to the first couple rows in the front...and those already seated were welcome to stay where they were.
I hate all the gaps at these events, when there is a bank of seats that family doesn't fill up, and then all these holes, and then the rows start to fill up again.
2007-03-01 02:50:07 · answer #2 · answered by musicimprovedme 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Family of the deceased will do much appreciation when you sit with the family. Blending in is also good, but perhaps it would be best to 'blend in' on social basis (eg. drinks at funeral?), at prayers or sermons, its still best to sit with the family. After all, its just for a short period of time but the memory of a loving person will remain for a lifetime.
2007-03-01 04:43:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take Jesus' advice on this one. Sit in a place of low recognition (i.e. blend in with the other attendees) and if someone closer to her thinks you should be sitting in a better place then they will come get you or let you know. It would be embarassing to sit in a closer place and then be asked to move for someone else.
2007-03-01 02:15:57 · answer #4 · answered by Some Guy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sit with the family on the second row.
2007-03-01 08:48:40 · answer #5 · answered by Tonya W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think blend - but if it looks as though the front seats are a bit empty perhaps you could slip in there too. You could ask your Mom what she thinks is appropriate.
2007-03-01 02:14:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sit with the family being you are just that, family.
2007-03-01 02:14:19 · answer #7 · answered by patchouligirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sit with the family, looks better if there is an inheritance involved. You never know.
2007-03-01 02:48:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
In my experience "Family" means immediate family... but if you feel that your mom may need your support sit with her!!
2007-03-01 02:14:28 · answer #9 · answered by megonjay 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sit with your Mom. And its her choice where to sit.
2007-03-01 13:27:20 · answer #10 · answered by NWK 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋