Me and my ex boyfriend were together for four and a half years. We've had or ups dan downs like everyother relationship, but it was good. We recently broke up. ( like a month and a half ago). First we decided to take a break meaning we would get back together once we clear our heads. Then a week later he tells me that he is talking to another woman. Then few days after that he tells me we should break up! meaning not getting back together. He claims that I wasn't treating him the way he wanted me to. I have to admit I've been busy dealing with school, and work, so I was kind of neglecting him. But this hasn't been going on for a long time. To cut it short, I really love him with everything I got, but he says his heart isn't in it anymore. I don't understand how that could happen. I am so confused and don't know what to do. It is tearing me apart.
2007-02-28 17:58:25 · 19 answers · asked by makeesha03 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Move on...
2007-02-28 18:41:43 · answer #1 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I know this must be really tough for you but maybe if he does talk to other women, he will come to realize what he had with you. Since you guys were together for 4.5 years, there really must have been something holding you guys together! He needs to figure out what that is/was or chances are he will just take you for granted and the relationship will be emptier. You could ask him what it is that gave him a change of heart. If it's just that you didn't have time for him, that's something you can work on. If it's that he unknowingly feels differently, then it's his issue he needs to figure out. This is super cheesy and it's probably annoying to hear at this point but I've heard it before and it applies:
If you love him, set him free
If he comes back, it was meant to be.
He needs to find that spark on his own for the most part, but maybe being his friend meanwhile can help him see it again. However, don't wait for him! Focus on other stuff in your life and you never know what else can pop up. Good luck!
2007-02-28 18:13:31 · answer #2 · answered by laughterisnaturescure 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could it possibly be about sex. Please do not think I am being rude. However, if this is correct, and you were neglecting him sexually, then that's why he broke up with you. Men will NEVER stay with a woman if she shows him that she will cut him off whenever she is busy. If this is the case, then you can talk to him about it and show him that you'll never neglect him that way again in the future.
If I am wrong, please do not feel that I was being rude or anything.
I was just trying to help.
The only other thing you can do is apologies, and try to show him that you didn't mean to ignore him. And also that you will devote more time to him in the future. That is, if that's really what you want. Just remember, that he will be high maintenance whether you are busy or not.
2007-02-28 18:37:58 · answer #3 · answered by A dad & a teacher 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I recently went through this. My boyfriend and I were in love but my feelings for him had gone. So I broke up with him. It broke his heart, and I don't know how it feels... but I know that it hurts. But later on that week I had started to get feelings for him again.
So we talked and he told me that I broke his heart and that he still loved me even though I hurt him terribly. I wonder if anything has been troubling him personally. Like with his family or something. If so maybe all of the stress from it has jumbled up his feelings. That is what happened to me. But maybe he will have a change of heart.
I am not trying to get your hopes up so that they can be torn apart by the truth. This is just a maybe. I would keep in touch with him and talk things through. Ask him why his feelings changed. Maybe ask if there is anything going on with his family. Look to your friends and family for support during this hard time in your life.
I would keep fighting. Show him how you really care for him and that you still love him. I am not saying that this will make him come back to you, but better to show him how you feel rather than keep it all inside and not know why he doesn't feel the same. Good luck. I only wish the best for you.
2007-02-28 18:17:43 · answer #4 · answered by Tempest6768 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Breaking up will do that to you. My advice get a gallon of your favorite ice cream, a pizza, and a really sad romantic movie and cry your eyes out! Sometimes that all you need, a good long cry. He seems convinced that he doesnt want you anymore so maybe you should start looking for someone else too since he already has. Sorry that you have to go through this :[
2007-02-28 18:04:17 · answer #5 · answered by Diana_Is_Amazing 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he isnt coming back so dont hope for that. you need to move on and find someone whos heart is with you. someone when your running flat out with work and school offers to cook you dinner or pick up your dry cleaning. then you know he loves you, he is thinking of you and trying to make things easier. this ex of yours sounds like a sook and he needs someone who can look after him when really you dont have the time. forget bout him and find a new nicer guy. good luck
2007-02-28 18:05:30 · answer #6 · answered by young, hot, and Aussie! (chick) 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know it's happened to me once when i was with my dream man and i love him so much and he also, suddenly he said to me bye bye, i didn't do anything wrong, the wrong is with him,he lose me, now i with other man after i just give up from men, but now i am like a king we are happy together, and i deserve him and he also..
don't worry don't drop any tears, because u crying for someone he is with other girl, SO what, he searching for himself, if he after 4 years and half don't know what the good for him, leave him he is kid, u will find better for sure..
don't call him, don't even thinking about him, because he is with other girl, left u for her, so he will left her for other girl, he is from this kind, so better for u from now to discover him...
i know how much u loves him, but as u love him u will love other even more, someone respect u and be kind, not to treat u like this... good luck u are strong u can find other one, live your life don't think so much, do shopping, forget all the past because the future is better...
2007-02-28 18:10:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont get torn, apart the way a man thinks is to try to make the woman feel guilty....Yes you have school and work and that is very importan but dont feel guilty you did nothing wrong
2007-02-28 18:06:26 · answer #8 · answered by chelsmat2001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are busy with work and school and not giving him enough attention. So he calls another woman who will satisfy his selfish ego. Why can't he be there for you? Because he is selfish. Be glad that you found out now and didn't marry the jerk.
2007-02-28 18:15:39 · answer #9 · answered by Sara J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well my dear, this man should be forgotten. I have been through the same experience and believe me you just have to walk away and leave it all behind.
You will definitely find a better man (in future) who loves you truely with all your faults and inner beauty. Trust me.
2007-02-28 18:06:39 · answer #10 · answered by happy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best thing for you to do right now would be to let it go. in a situation like this, it would be hard for you to convince him to come back. the harder you try and fight, the further it will pus him away. if he wants to be with you he will come back around. i know this because have seen it happen, plus my sister is going thru the exact same thing.
2007-02-28 18:06:47 · answer #11 · answered by MISTER 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋