How do I get her to love me?

Question

I met this girl freshman year in high school. We over the whole high school era, we became really good friends. Also, over those years... I came to love her, and everything about her. Of course, she only sees me as a friend. I've had this secret love for years now... we are both freshman in college.

The thing is, I'm pretty sure she knows I love her. She's way to afraid to love me back, and maybe ruin the friendship we have.

She just recently got her very first "boyfriend," and I freaked out. I got mad at her and messed our friendship up for a while. But everything is better now... well at least she thinks that.

I have always been there for this girl. She has had some family problems and life problems in general. Later, her grandma (her grandparents raised her... long story) took me aside after graduation and told me stuff like, thanks for looking out for her, thanks for being there and taking care of her, and thanks for teaching her so much about the world.

Now, I don't understand why she still won't love me. I think she has never really been shown love... As in, the real thing, which is what I have to offer... but she doesn't want it.

It's been really really long, and I'm starting to get really really lonely... She used to be the only girl in my life, and I thought after graduation, at least I'll stop thinking about her and move on - wrong. I still can't think about any other girls taking her spot... And then she goes and gets a "boyfriend" that has no clue how great she is.

What should I do? should I move on? Am I chasing something I will never get?

Answer 1

Unfortunately you've cast yourself as the "friend" in her life story. But it's not too late to change her mind. However, it comes at an expense.

In order to win her over, you're gonna have to change somethings about yourself. You need to be stronger, more confident, less of a pushover, more of a bad guy. It sounds ridiculous, but she needs someone to take control... make her want you. Show her that life would be better with you. Be more desirable, be more interesting... date some girls to show her you have your pick of the litter. She needs to think that being with you is the best thing she could do. (Can't be forced... you have to be this new person!!!)

And then, once you're the new you (assuming you still want her)... tell her that if she wants you in her life, than she's going to have to love you as much as you love her. But you have to be telling the truth... you have to be willing to walk out of her life. Otherwise it won't work. We all want what we can't have.

And if you're really desperate, you can knock her up... although I seriously don't recommend this.

-DUCE

P.S. Read "The Game." Find out what girls think is attractive... you might be surprised.

Answer 2

Usually I'd say move on, but obviously this a girl you are insanely in love with and thats so nice, she should be able to accept it but she might be afraid to lose you as a friend and since you've been so great to her then she'll be afraid to lose the strong friendship you've got. But then again you should confront her and tell her you like her a lot, dont exactly imply that you love her because that might freak her out, but tell her you want a chance with her and if she brings up the excuse of thinking of you as only a friend or not wanting to ruin your friendship tell her you wont let the friendship you have be ruined. It's a strong one and a hard one to get ruined. If she continues to protest tell her life is full of risks and she may be turning down "the one" and she may never get another chance to have him.
I really hope that works for you because it seems like you two have quite a history together and maybe just maybe you have to take that big step and maybe you'll end up together forever, you just never know.

Answer 3

You have to tell her how you feel and do it now! Don't wait for her feelings to grow for this "other guy" because then she might not be willing to give you the chance that you might've easily had. What's the worse that can happen? You'll tell her how you've had this love for her for years and she wont be able to reciprocate the same words back to you? Maybe you'll both even feel a little uncomfortable for a bit? To me, it seems pretty minor compared to what's the "best" that can happen... you wind up in the arms of your true love -the place you've been dieing for "years" to be? You have to take a chance! We seldom get the good things in life just thrown in our lap and handed to us.. you have to go get it (her)! If it doesn't turn out the way you had hoped.. well at least you can say you tried and not live the next five or so years in regret of what you never had the nerve to go after.

Good luck in getting her! Just for the record, MOST girls would DIE for a guy to feel the way you have described about this girl and I think she'll feel honored!

Answer 4

Well this is really interesting. Have you ever told her how you feel or do you assume that she thinks that you love her? Most the time females do get hints but sometimes they just don't and it is up to you to make sure they know that you like them. You should ask her out to dinner or something and tell her how you feel dude. If you never tell her she will never know and then you will be chasing something you will never have. On the other hand if you decide to move on you will always be stuck with a thought in your head knowing that you could have been with someone that you really did love but failed to do so. It's all up to what you do and when you do it bro. This is really your decision to make.

Answer 5

You are chasing something you cannot get. She's had plenty of time to fall in love with you and has not. She got another boyfriend---that's definitely a sign. Do you really want someone who will never love you like you love them?

Answer 6

you seem like a nice and awesome guy and i think that if you feel like she is the one it is worth the chance otherwise your always gonna worry about what if