My husband and I are a spinal cord injury couple. We love each other so much and have problems like most but the biggest prob.is in our sex life, which is the most imporatant area that I need filled the most.. I have been very patient with him, and his excuses are being to tired or skin problems, but I am not getting any younger, after being married for 12 years now. I am really missing out on the true love making and excitment that I have never really had a chance to experience all the wonderful joys of love making with him the one you love cause he's not interested.. I know he is atracted to me, thinks I am beautiful and desires me, but to him cuddeling with me is all that interests him.. It is really hard to take that when men show interest in me, flirts with me and exchange numbers with me. My question is,Should I Go find outside the marriage how to pleasure myself and surprise him with better experience to show him that I can pleasure him so he will then want to be with me?
2007-02-28 17:47:11 · 11 answers · asked by cindylou0520 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Any time you go outside the boundaries of your marriage, you are putting the marriage in jeopardy. If you do it behind your spouses back, you can easily break bonds of trust and that will often cause a rapid deterioration of any relationship.
You need to tell your husband your feelings towards this subject. He needs to know that you have needs that are not being fulfilled, and you would like to figure out what you can do together to better fulfill those sexual needs.
You may want to try counseling. There are actually sex therapists who help people with these types of things.
It sounds like you've already thought about this quite a bit, even acted on it to a lesser degree, as you mentioned you have obviously been flirty with someone else, to the point that you exchanged phone numbers.
2007-02-28 17:59:14 · answer #1 · answered by Josh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This Site Might Help You.
RE:
Would you stay faithful in a non sexual marriage to a man who wasn't interested in sex due to a spinal injury.
My husband and I are a spinal cord injury couple. We love each other so much and have problems like most but the biggest prob.is in our sex life, which is the most imporatant area that I need filled the most.. I have been very patient with him, and his excuses are being to tired or skin problems,...
2015-08-23 07:05:19 · answer #2 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Non Sexual Marriage
2016-10-18 04:20:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you entered your relationship knowing he loved to cuddle and was satisfied and you were not, then you were not true to yourself then.. and it may be in the fore-front of your mind for long time to come. Be true to your feelings so you can be happy.. but do not do it at expense of your husband's feelings. If he would be upset by your infidelity, then you must come clean with your feelings first. Then pursue other, more fulfilling relationships. But, please remember, no matter where you stand, the grass always seems greener on the other side. You may find a sexually charged relationship that you want only to realize it is empty and has no substantial, relationship-building potential. Be very certain of what you are seeking. Do what will make your heart feel best.
2007-02-28 17:58:24 · answer #4 · answered by msociety 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your trying to convince yourself going outside the marrige is your only option. What we always end up wanting most is what we never have. Try feeding him some viagra, cialis ect.. From there there's not much a choice in the matter. Let him know there's no expectations, you just want to him inside you. That should take any perfomance anxiety away.
2007-02-28 17:53:31 · answer #5 · answered by shadycaliber 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that was really hard... we all dont want to make regrets, ur relationship w/ ur husband might fail if u do that thing & on the other hand u cud lose the chance to experience the wonderful joys of love making.. try to see some porno movie w/ him that includes some foul play or whatever u can do to satisfy urself. sorry but i dont know up to what extent u do on ur love making w/ ur husband? if that includes his organ that he cant make it, then perhaps try to use some sex toys w/ him.. u dont want to lose ur relationship w/ ur husband, do u? usually it's hard to stay in a relationship w/ diff. problems, but ur true love w/ each other will motivate u to stay & b faithful w/ each other.. hold on..
2007-02-28 18:03:49 · answer #6 · answered by sweet_MJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you, I do, but I won't tell you it's okay to cheat or it will make your sex life with him better. It ruins lives and more likely than not your husband will feel betrayed and will probably want you even less. A solution would be to tell him how you're feeling and get the okay. If you really feel validated to cheat than you wouldn't have a problem asking his permission right?
2007-02-28 17:53:16 · answer #7 · answered by Aphrodite 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you still in love with your husband?? If you are then you would never even for one second consider what you are thinking about doing. I went through a similar thing ...my ex wanted to keep both of us. I told him that I am not into sharing and that when I married him I made a commitment to him and to him alone. I expected the same from him. If he doesn't love me enough to want to be with me through sickness and health...then bye bye!
2007-02-28 17:53:12 · answer #8 · answered by mysweetluvie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
im sorry but you can not hav a relationship witout sex! it wud be just like a frendship. n trust me u probably hav a lot of frends u dont need more. plus its not healthy to not hav sex. u need to sit down ur husband n tell him how its goin down. u hav to hav sex!!!!!
but then theres other ways of pleasuring eachother too but nuthin compares to having the acual thing!
2007-02-28 18:17:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no stay faithful to him. marriage is sacret...
im 17 but thats the way i see it...
he loves you more then anything right? imagine how he would feel if he found out that you cheated.. & plus his injury?? that would be terrible.. so just wait it out, things will get better. remember what you put into marriage is what you'll get out of it.
2007-02-28 17:54:00 · answer #10 · answered by Savannah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋