How to prepare my 5 year old for the death or "putting down" of his lifelong "puppy dog"?

Question

I need suggestions on how to prepare a 5 year old for the death or probably "putting down" of his pet dog. We've had the dog his whole life. She is 14 and will go of natural causes soon, or have to be put down. If we have to put her down should I just honestly explain what and why we are doing this. Or, is a 5 year old young enough we should make up a "happy" story...if you will. I personally think that might not be a great idea. Thanks So Much

The Bostons

Answer 1

In all honesty, I would have to say tell him the truth. But, use words that he will understand too. You are his Dad, you know how to talk to him. Just put it as gently as possible. Start thinking of ways you will tell him first before your dog does pass. I have always been a very firm believer on telling my boys the truth. No matter how old they were. I raised them alone since they were 2 and 4 years old. They are now in their late 20's. I had a lot of hard times where I had to tell them the truth. Don't make it a happy story, that isn't telling him the truth at all. He loves you and he loves his dog. Be honest and gentle with him. I am so very sorry to hear about your dog being so ill. You were a good owner and gave him a wonderful life of 14 years. Good luck to you in this matter. I really hope you choose to tell your son the truth. Take care.

Answer 2

I am very sorry to hear about your dog. I beleive in telling
the truth, but since your child is only five, I have to say that
the truth about dying isn't something I would want my child to
know or understand at that age. There are alot of easy ways
to explain it without making it sound so terrible. Telling him that
the dog was chosen to be with god right now is a good start.
But I think no matter what you decide to tell you child, that there
will be a period of mourning. It's something that we can't
predict, we just don't know how hard some things are to deal
with until were there. I've lost pets, and it is so hard, I don't
think replacing the pet is fair to the pet your putting down, but
it could help ease your sons pain. Taking him to the pet store
to pick out a pup or an older dog may be helpful. It may
prevent your son from greiving to much. Sorry for your loss.

Answer 3

First tell him how sick the dog is. Let him love on the dog, and explain that the dog has had a good life but would probably not live much longer. Let him cry with the dog if he needs to but make sure you get a few moments of joy. Also take a few last photos of him with the dog. If the dog dies naturally this Will prepare him for it. You could make sure he has some real quality time with the dog each day till he dies. If you know the dog will be put down, let your son love on him one last time, then take the dog to the vet alone, tell your son the dog is very ill, and we are taking it to the vet to see if anything can be done to help him. Do not tell your 5 year old you "put the dog down". He can learn the truth in a few years. The only issue when you come back from the vet is you tell your child the dog died peacefully. Another option is to let your son be there, but not in the room till after the dog is dead and let him hold him. A 5 year old is not ready for the issues of euthanasia.

Answer 4

Thankfully I have never found myself in that same situation. But I have never been one to think sugar-coating something for a child is a good idea.

I know it would be hard but I think it would be best for the child if you explain it to him frankly and he will be better prepared for such events again in the future.

I wouldn't suggest making "we'll get another puppy" part of the counseling. I have seen many rush into getting a "replacement" and sometimes it doesn't work out so well. You can't replace your dog, he/she was as unique as anyone of us. Wait a while and make looking for a new dog a family project. What breed what size etc. Or better yet, after a while go to a local shelter and look into a rescue dog.

Good luck.

Answer 5

I train dogs and I am at a lot of customers houses a lot. The most common thing that I see is that a new puppy is brought in to ease the pain. Losing a family pet is like losing a family member. It is a painful experience for everyone to go through. I do think that at five you might be able to come up with the happy story and maybe in a few years let the truth be know, but I would definately get that new puppy.
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Answer 6

I would just tell him the truth. Kids don't like to be lied to, and he'll trust you more if you make a habit of being honest with him.

Explain that death is a natural process, and the dog is in a really deep sleep where she can't be woken. Everything dies, but that's okay, because the dog isn't hurting anymore. You might also want to mention that you can get a different dog.

Answer 7

I'm sorry to hear about your dog - it's hard to let go of them when the time comes and even harder to explain it to young family members.

There's a wonderful illustrated book out by Cynthia Ryland, called "Dog Heaven", which you can get fairly cheap (about $8) on Amazon. The book is designed to help people cope with the loss of a beloved pet - and it's very much geared toward explaining the loss to a younger child. Maybe it would be helpful in your situation.

http://www.amazon.com/Dog-Heaven-Cynthia-Rylant/dp/0590417010

Answer 8

We just had to put our dog down today. He had a cancerous tumor, and sadly the cancer spread. I have a 9 year old and a 5 year old. We simply explained that the Doggy God was calling him because he needed more Angels. This was understood very well. We also used this website for the kids called the Rainbow's Bridge:

http://rainbowsbridge.com/

It has helped so far for us!

Hope it helps for you, and we are truly sorry that one has to go through this sad sad time. God Bless You!!!

Answer 9

I would be honest with your 5 year old and honest about the sorrow you feel when your dog dies. One of my first memories as a child was seeing my dad cry after his horse died giving birth. It's written in primary colors in my memory and I have no doubt it helped influence my own love of animals.

Answer 10

Wow sorry to hear of your loss. Personally I would not lie, but try to explain what is happening with your dog and why. The book the previous poster said is a good one if you care to use it.